Old Tricks

Total Chaos!

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Sarah, AB, and me.  Can't you feel the love?   And
also, the alcohol?  Just by viewing this picture, you
can get drunk.  

Special love box!

The following people are the
coolest.  For varying reasons.

My
AB don't mess around,
because she loves me so, and
this I know fo sho.

Coleen knows what's cooler than
cool--ICE COLD!

Lauren don't want to hear me,
she just wants to DANCE.

Allison don't want to meet your
DADdy.

Hannah Beth just wants you in
her CADdy.

Amy don't want to meet your
MOMma.

And Miss
Sarah B. is shaking it
like a polaroid picture RIGHT
NOW.

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(Psst.  Hey.  For the benefit of my friends who don't much understand
these new fangled computer-things, I'll go ahead and tell you that if you
hold your mouse over the picture, you can see another caption.  
Okay, mom?  Got it now? Also, when I say I'm "drunk", that's just slang
talk for "studying the Bible".)

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Y'all!  Don't you want to join my shiny
new Notify?  Why not?  Is it because
you like making me cry?  Or is it
because the damn thing NEVER
NOTIFIES PEOPLE like it is supposed
to? Fucking Notify.

So, sometimes you wake up in the morning, grab six pairs of shoes and
your cute jeans, plus your boyfriend and his shoes and his jeans, and you
load all of these things plus a gee-tar into a two seat convertible and
drive, drive, DRIVE the nine hundred hours to Monroe, Louisiana: home of
fried seafood, bayous, and the amazing, delightful
AB, Vince, Sarah, and
Special Ed.  

Now, I'm not going to try to capture the experience that is Chao Camp in
words, because frankly, I really...don't remember everything.  Hee.  But
guess what I do have!  A CAMERA.   So guess what you get?  Photo
essay, baby!  And we all know how I love the photo essay.  Very much, is
how much.  

Before we get started, let me tell you what you will not see, either because
you just really didn't need to see those pictures, because, just...NO, or
because I didn't manage to photograph them.  But these events played
too important a role in our weekend to not be mentioned, so I ask
everyone to please give rightful propers to:

Those Things You Will Not See Pictures Of, Namely:


1.  The mystery vomit in the sink.  Was it a spew and run, or was it ONE
OF US, too drunk to remember our own bathroom atrocity?  The general
consensus is that a total stranger broke into the house, puked, and then
left in abject shame.  Suspect still at large!

2.  Squooshed armadillos.  El Dukay and I spent almost twenty hours in
the car this weekend, driving to and from Chao Camp.  And let me tell you
something.  Y'all, there are a lot of squooshed armadillos along I-20.  
They are quite dead.  I wanted to count them, but El Dukay wouldn't let me.
 Other Fun Road Games vetoed by El Dukay included:   
What I Bought At
The Porn Store in Alabama
, Highway Freeze Tag, and I Spy Something
That Smells
.

3.  Felonies.

4.  Proof that our milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.  I assure you:  it
totally does.  And as for those boys who were too fascinated by
Corbin's
"dancing" to pay any attention to our milkshakes, well...those boys are
clearly homosexual.  

5.  Pictures of AB and Vince's beautiful house.  I'm really kicking myself
that I didn't get any pictures of AB's amazing paintings, or their wonderful
kitchen, or even the pretty sofa where I spent about seventeen hours in a
drunken stupor.   Take my word for it: their house is gorgeous.  

6.  The entire first night of our stay.  Yeah.  No photos of that.  (
See
number 3).

But I think that's it.  So, y'all!  Are you ready?  It'll be just like when people
you don't know make you sit and look at their vacation pictures!   In fact, it
will be...oh.  It will be exactly like that.   Hmm.

Anyway.  If there is any way for you to listen to Rico Suave, Mmm Bop, or
Journey as you view this photo essay, you definitely should.  Also, you'll
probably want to get drunk first.  I'm just saying.   


Okay, homes.  Let's go to
CHAO CAMP!

Do you see what I did there?  Come on.