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The Reconstruction of Miss Doxie

September 10, 2007

HOLY SHIT, I don't even believe it. I am on my website! I am TYPING ON MY WEBSITE. This might make me teary, and I never thought I would live to see the day. I am sure I will complain about it all in much tedious, annoying detail below, so get all psyched for that. Obviously.

But, of course, first thing's first: before I even start on the ugly divorce of Doxie and Internet, let me begin by telling y'all that my dad is better. It took a long time. During that long time, he gravitated between "He'll be back to normal any day!" and "Wait, maybe he needs some really invasive surgery, Our Bad." He finally settled on the former, and now he's doing really well. He's even at work, and so I get to follow him around suspiciously, trying to keep him from doing too much, and pestering him by saying things like, "When are you going home? Have you taken your vitamins? Eat this orange. I AM CALLING MOM." I am not annoying at all.

But, at any rate, there was a lot of worrying there, for a while. And, turns out, I do not like the possibility of my Dad being taken away from me. Not a bit. None of us do, and it took all of us a long time to get back to normal, and even longer to get caught up with our previously-scheduled lives. Toss in some additional, far-less-critical (but still annoying as all shit) other issues, and I managed to get pretty turned around there, in a number of different ways. It was Big Fun.

I am so sorry to have kept everyone waiting for so long, though, and that certainly was not my intention when I wrote that last entry. As much as I appreciate the overwhelming concern and support from all of you, I just hate that people have been worried about me and my family. And I would have loved to pop in and tell you all that we were in one piece, but that is where that aforementioned Divorce comes into play. Which I will sum up thusly:

Because the Universe is how it is, Dad's illness corresponded precisely with the time that something vague and technical went wrong with the back-end of my website. This vague and technical problem started popping up, "FORBIDDEN! NO! GO AWAY!" errors every time I tried to log in. And this was...new. Usually, when my site has a conniption, all that happens is that the comments turn off and an entry or two gets sucked into the Internet ether. Locking me out entirely, however? Hello, new problem! Nice fucking timing.

So, I dug in where I could, and probably made things ten times worse by my fumbling, and then this story goes on for many more paragraphs, during which I tried to figure out if the problem was the server, which was experiencing a “Critical Error,” it informed me, or if it was the site itself, which wanted nothing to do with me whatsoever. Alllll of these paragraphs are boring, and so I am not going to get into it, but I will say that HOLY SHIT, TODAY, this actual day that is happening right NOW, and for the first time in...months, everything seems to be turned back on. (I mean, I think it is. I haven’t tried to publish this yet. Maybe I am in for a big surprise that will involve cussing! Maybe I am just talking to myself. In which case: HI ME! THIS SHIT IS STILL BROKEN). Provided that this is working, then I have all this shiny new bandwidth to play with, and I am upgraded in vague ways I do not understand, and I am sort of unreasonably excited about all of it. And, hey there, world! Did you miss me?

So, there you have it. You are kind of caught up, we can all stop worrying about my dad, things are [allegedly] fixed, and I am thrilled, and thank you hosting people, for getting it all sorted. And I am sorry, hosting people, for being an idiot about the whole thing and making matters worse. It is what I do.

But mostly, I am sorry that so many people were concerned. If I could have popped in to tell everyone that we were okay, and that we were getting better, I would have. Disappearing after such a dire and "Death! DEAAAATH!" entry was not good form. I did not mean to disturb people, and I have tried to write back everyone who wrote to me (although emails, too, went all kerfluffle for a good two months; ask me about how much fun THAT was). I am still making my way through everything, and I just feel really bad about the whole business.

But, oh, you guys. So many things have happened! Nothing, like, important, but you know. Things like falling down and drinking stuff and going places that are ill-advised. Some of these things have been really funny and awesome, and they would happen and I would think, "Holy shit, I've got to write about this!" before remembering, with crushing disappointment, that the Internet dumped me. The Internet dumped me, and refused to take my calls, and stole all my good CDs and scrawled my phone number on bathroom stalls all over Atlanta. The Internet didn't want to hear about the saga of the Dippin' Dots of Jesus, or about how I was attacked by a homicidal squirrel, or about Gimmme's uniboob, or Bo's new sleeping protocols. The Internet had moved on, probably to someone on myspace, and I was left a sad, clingy mess, begging, "Please? Can't we try again? I’ll be better this time!" while pouring my heart out to customer service representatives across the globe ("I SWEAR WE WERE SO HAPPY ONCE"). Because I have pride and all.

In the end, I fought for our love, and won, mostly because I threw money at the Internet until it agreed to give me another chance. Because, good news! The Internet is kind of a whore. (JUST KIDDING LOVE YOU INTERNET NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN).

And, that is all. Well, except for the Dippin' Dots and the squirrel and the fact that I have concluded that I am being haunted by a really irritating ghost who likes AM radio, and some other stuff I will think of shortly. And also, interesting news: I have thought of one way I can try to make it up to everyone that I went missing for so long, and that is by making a spectacular ass out of myself. Which is something I probably would have done anyway, but this way is much faster, really. Plus, it allows me to make lists. So, ass-making! LET IT COMMENCE.

And here is what I am going to do, to mark the Reconstruction of the site and the Reuniting of Me + Internet ( = True Love 4Ever!). While I’ve been off, I spent a lot of time living at my parents' house, doing whatever. And while there, I discovered all of the most frightening pictures of me that have ever been taken, all secreted away by myself, in hopes they would never be discovered by boyfriends or members of the press. These are the pictures I won't even show Dukay because I am afraid that he will start harboring serious concerns about what lurks in my gene pool (Dukay: start saving for braces!). And these pictures have stayed hidden, until now. Now, I am totally going to publish them ALL on the internet, every day for the next week. It will be a retrospective of awkward. I am totally psyched.

Please note that, during the times these pictures were taken, I was often painfully, remarkably, hilariously funny looking, and even during times when I looked relatively normal, I still had what is undoubtedly the worst sense of appropriate footwear/clothing/hair styling that you have maybe ever seen. I think I can best describe what we are dealing with here by telling you that, in the course of my fashion experimentation, I have lovingly embraced the following themes (TIME FOR LISTS WOO!):

1. Accessories, Accessories, Accessories!
2. EVERYTHING MUST MATCH EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVEN PROPS
3. Big Hair is Happy Hair
4. Little House on One Fucked up Prairie
5. Clothes That Are Clearly Not Mine
6. Nun
7. Vagrant
8. Your Mom

I will post these, plus other uncategorized monstrosities, right here, using all this fancy ass new bandwidth I [allegedly] have. You maybe should not be eating when this occurs. Like, for example, now:

contemplative in acid wash.jpg

I call this picture Nature’s Majesty, Plus Acid Wash.


(Actually, that one is totally tame. Things really only go downhill from here.)

(Like, downhill to here: )

pegged jeans and mullet.jpg

Acid wash, pinch rolls, Bill Cosby’s castoff sweater, and what appears to be a mullet. Plus, I am playing chess, probably to distract my thirteen year old self from all the love-struck preteens beating a path to my door. HEY BOYS! TAKE A NUMBER. There is plenty of awesome to go around.

So, anyway. That's everything, y'all (really, all you wanted and so much more! That you didn't want! Like food poisoning!). I am sorry for disappearing, but things are looking up at last, and I'm confident that my year is about to start getting a hell of a lot better. And I’m thinking that Mister Internet and I will live happily ever after, so long as I promise never to wear acid wash or a mullet ever, ever again.

Posted by doxie in The Innernet | permalink

155 Comments

Welcome back sweetie!! So glad it's good news for Dad!

Posted by: Bonney | September 10, 2007 05:17 PM

And we are so glad you are back to share your mullet days with us. And the comments work!

Posted by: elizabeth | September 10, 2007 05:19 PM

Yay! So happy to see you back, and that things are well, and I cannot wait to hear about Gimmee's uniboob.

Posted by: Cara | September 10, 2007 05:20 PM

YEA!!!! Glad you're back and all is well with your dad!!!!
Much doxie love to the pups!

Posted by: Kelly | September 10, 2007 05:31 PM

Yeah! *cheers* Life was so dull without Doxie.. how did I ever live without you?? I.. am interested in the Dippin' Dots of Jesus or whatever it was.. Yay comments!!

Posted by: Emzy | September 10, 2007 05:31 PM

Welcome back!! So glad to hear your Dad is okay. I was one of the 50 billion people who you probably got an email from. :)

Posted by: Lilie | September 10, 2007 05:40 PM

I want you to know that I had that same sweater, but in red. Though, you have me beat with the mullet. I may have krimped, but I never mulleted.

Glad to see you are back and that your dad is okay. I don't even know you and I was worried! :P

Posted by: Lani | September 10, 2007 05:48 PM

THANK you. I can now sleep peacefully. Missed you!

Posted by: Nikki | September 10, 2007 05:53 PM

Welcome back! I'm so glad to hear that everything is all better -- especially your Dad!

Posted by: Audrey | September 10, 2007 05:53 PM

Welcome back, we are happy here that things are ok :) And you have some guts, girl, because I have threatened those with old photos of me with death if they ever see the light of day.

Posted by: Jess | September 10, 2007 05:57 PM

Oh, I did! I did miss you. So happy to hear that all is well. Well, except in Gimmmee's chestal area. Sorry about that.

Posted by: chellebird | September 10, 2007 05:59 PM

Welcome back! You were sorely missed.

Posted by: Jessie | September 10, 2007 06:03 PM

OMG! I've been compulsively checking here every few days and today, here you are! Whee!

Also, acid wash for the win! ;-)

Posted by: Lauren | September 10, 2007 06:03 PM

oh mykittens was so worried. welcome back. so glad all family things are ok. however, i admit i harbored fantasies of doxie/dukay elopement and months long honeymoon type thing abroad. but i digress. lovely to have you back on the innernets. if the innernets stray again i shall kick them in the face

Posted by: kristina | September 10, 2007 06:04 PM

oh thank the tap-dancing crickets of buddha YOU'RE BACK AND NO ONE IS DEAD!

also? i had that exact same chess outfit. the horror.

Posted by: jennifer | September 10, 2007 06:10 PM

YAY! i mostly lurk here, but i was definitely verrrrrry worried about DoxieDad and am very relieved to hear the extended absence has a mostly happy ending. also, those photos are incredibly awesome. i posted some really nice ones from highschool recently, but i'd have to go home and raid my parents' stashes for the REALLY heinous ones. i salute you.

Posted by: Alice | September 10, 2007 06:13 PM

I SURE hope you saved those acid washed clothes to put in a dress up closet for your kids so they can parade around in them in 10 years and laugh at you. As if having the Internet do it is not enough.

Posted by: Anne Glamore | September 10, 2007 06:17 PM

FINALLY. So very glad you're back. We'll all kick the internet's ass if it ever leaves you again.

Posted by: catherino | September 10, 2007 06:20 PM

YAY!!!! I'm glad your back and everything is ok with your dad.

OOOH...I had the tight rolled jeans and the big floppy sweaters..no mullet but you couldn't measure how high my hair was on a ruler not to mention the width of it. Quick question did you happen to own a Coca Cola blue jean jacket that could complete any ensemble? What about Bass shoes? Oh the memories the horrible horrible memories

Posted by: Amy | September 10, 2007 06:21 PM

Welcome back! I am glad your dad is okay, and you are okay, and the dogs are okay, and now you and the internet are okay, too. Plus we get mullet pictures, and apparently a canine uniboob! It's like Christmas in September!

Posted by: Gabbiana | September 10, 2007 06:22 PM

So, so, so, so, so glad that you are back, and everyone/thing is in working order. Also, pretty ironic, too, that I posted pictures of MY teenage mullet today as well. Not a pretty site. No.


Welcome back!

Posted by: Lulu | September 10, 2007 06:23 PM

Yaaaaaay, yahoo, and all that good stuff!! I'm *so* glad you're back, and that things are positively doxie-normal.

Posted by: Linda | September 10, 2007 06:23 PM

So glad you are back and all is well!

Posted by: Melissa | September 10, 2007 06:25 PM

YAY! You are back! I have been visiting your page about once a week (even though I subscribe to your feed), hoping against hope that you would return. And you did! And your dad is ok! And we get to see awesome pictures of your youthful style indiscretions! OH, happy, happy day!

The only thing that could possibly make my week more exciting is if I ran into you on Saturday night because Oh My Goodness, I am actually going to be in Atlanta then for a show. But that is too much to ask of the gods.

Cheers! And Hooray again for your dad.

P.S. I totally had those same acid-washed, pinch-rolled jeans.

Posted by: gabrielle | September 10, 2007 06:29 PM

WAHOO!
You are back.
Your dad is better.
Your internet loves you.
Wahoo!

Posted by: Hillary | September 10, 2007 06:30 PM

WHEW! What a fucking RELIEF it is to see you back. I've been obsessively checking in, and I'm not really sure why. I have no life? I was worried about your dad (the MRSA can be a bitch)? I bought a few of your cute thingamajigs and thought you were my new BFF (I think it would be fun to get drunk and talk bad about people's hair, nevermind that we don't live in the same city)? Whatevah. Color me a freak; I've been called worse.

I'm just glad to see that the calamity was only of the Internet variety. And you totally rock that Cosby sweater. (Ok, not so much.) But, you + acid wash = fantabulous!

Welcome back.

Posted by: Suzy Q | September 10, 2007 06:31 PM

I so missed you! Welcome back! And congratulations on your happy reunion with Mr. Internet.

Posted by: Deborah | September 10, 2007 06:43 PM

Welcome back!! We missed you and I'm so glad to hear that your dad is okay!

Posted by: Lydia | September 10, 2007 06:46 PM

Oh, I'm so happy you're back! Yea! Happy day! Also, yea for Papa Doxie!!

Posted by: Susan | September 10, 2007 06:52 PM

Yay! You came back. Now I can call the National Guard and tell them the hunt is off.

Never leave me again...

Posted by: TamiW | September 10, 2007 07:01 PM

Heavens, girl, you are back! I've been checking EVERY DAY. (I have no life). Okay, now I must hear about the uniboob.

Posted by: The Hag | September 10, 2007 07:07 PM

SO happy you are back and that your dad is ok! I have missed you and can't wait to hear about all of the past months' happenings!

Posted by: Kathleen | September 10, 2007 07:16 PM

Hi Doxie! I don't think I've ever commented before but I just wanted to say I'm so so SO glad you're alive and well. Your archives have been keeping me sane while bored at work (although I may have ruptured something holding in the giggles).

I could give you a run for your money with the bad pictures. You would have been my fashion idol in your two ensembles.

Posted by: kat | September 10, 2007 07:28 PM

This is So Weird. Just, like, 10 minutes ago I was thinking that I hadn't heard from you in forever and ever and wonder if I ever would again, and then I logged onto my computer, procrastinated starting work, and up you popped in Bloglines! So happy your dad is doing better.

Posted by: Cat, Galloping | September 10, 2007 07:32 PM

OMGosh, I'm so glad you're back. I'm such a loyal reader of your blog that when your said your dad was sick I was scared for you. Not even virtu-scared, but real-scared! Anyways, glad all is well.

Posted by: Katie | September 10, 2007 07:48 PM

YAY! I'm so glad you're back and may have even stalked your friends' websites to find updates on you (and luckily found one). Can't WAIT to see the pictures!

Posted by: Jamila | September 10, 2007 07:55 PM

Yay! Miss Doxie is back! Wheee!!!!

Posted by: Jabberwocky | September 10, 2007 07:55 PM

Wow. I had just discovered you back in June and read EVERY POST from the beginning and then you disappeared but now you're back and I'm about to pee myself I'm so happy!

Posted by: Kitty | September 10, 2007 07:57 PM

So glad to hear about your Dad. I went through something similar last year with a less fortunate result, so I was really empathizing with you. Glad to hear it turned out well. I look forward to laughing at... I mean WITH... you again!

Posted by: Erin | September 10, 2007 07:59 PM

So glad to hear that everything is good with Dad...we were getting worried and are now relieved that it's the Internet's fault and not something more serious. We missed you and looked forward to the old pictures, although since I'm about your age, anything you pull out can probably be matched by my photos. Only advantage I have is that I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THOSE PICTURES ARE!

Posted by: Angela | September 10, 2007 08:06 PM

Doxie! it is so very good to hear from you that you and yours are well and I'm sorry that the Internet is such a whore.

Posted by: Heather | September 10, 2007 08:14 PM

Doxie's baaaaackkk!!!! I have been checking in DAILY to see how dad was doing (no, I don't have anything better to do). Glad all is well.

Posted by: Cindy | September 10, 2007 08:24 PM

I'm so glad you are back and that your dad is better!

Posted by: stephanie | September 10, 2007 08:28 PM

Yay, Really glad everything has taken a turn for the better :)

Posted by: tazzie | September 10, 2007 08:32 PM

Oh the horror of the acid wash jeans...I know it well. Never had a mullet, but my mom did insist that I wear the now infamous "big ass bow".

So glad you're back! I hope the internet continues to behave! :)

Posted by: mouse | September 10, 2007 08:54 PM

I will now breathe a large sigh of relief for two reasons: one, you and your daddy are OK! and two, the eighties are long gone. Because they were kind to no one in terms of fashion or hair.

(seriously though, I'm so glad that you and the Innernet are playing together again, and most importantly, that your dad is OK).

Posted by: FW Sunshine | September 10, 2007 08:59 PM

I'm SO glad your dad is safe and sound and that you're back!!! I was praying for you b/c I thought for sure absence = very, very, very bad things after the last post. And then I was going to email you, but figured random emails from internet people during a time like that (you know, the one I'd made up in my head) wouldn't really much be appreciated... anyway, super glad you are back and that things are a-ok.

Posted by: Kimberly | September 10, 2007 09:01 PM

Yay, you are back! Glad everything is OK.

Posted by: Anne L. | September 10, 2007 09:20 PM

Yay! For everything. Yay!

Posted by: Fianna | September 10, 2007 09:26 PM

OMG, so glad you're back and everyone is OK. Never leave us again, ok, please?

Posted by: Angela | September 10, 2007 09:29 PM

Thank *gawd*. Some of us were reduced to googling around in hopes of finding news about your situation on somebody else's blog. Um...not that I know anybody who did that.

Posted by: Cobwebs | September 10, 2007 09:33 PM

I am so glad everything is okay!!

You must tell us of Bo's new sleeping protocols, because I suspect they are truly original.

Posted by: dcfullest | September 10, 2007 09:36 PM

So glad you're back and especially glad to hear that Papa Doxie is back on his feet!

Big hug!
j

Posted by: canknitian | September 10, 2007 09:41 PM

Welcome back! So happy your dad is doing better and also? I hope that squirrel didn't bite you because DUDE, I have been bitten by a squirrel and it sucks. Not so much the awful puncture wound pain as the wondering whether you have rabies for the next six weeks. Brushing your teeth takes on a whole new meaning. "Is this toothpaste foam OR RABIES FOAM OH MY GOD?"

Posted by: Emily | September 10, 2007 09:43 PM

I'm one of the many kabillions who checked in constantly and was hoping against all hope that your Dad was OK. And I'm so glad that he is. And you, too. :-)

Posted by: MostEvilTwin | September 10, 2007 10:36 PM

OH. THANK. GOD!!!!!!!

Oh, Leigh, how I worried about you!!!!!!!

I'm so glad things are going better and yer Papa is okay. Whew!

I have already informed my parents that they are never allowed to die until after I do. Or we could all die together when I'm good and ready. Until then they are to stay alive at all costs even if it means discovering a fountain of youth, because:

Me + Mama/Papa Death = STRAIGHT JACKET.

Welcome back, sugar boogar!

(I have so many frightening pictures -- man -- the things we thought were in style! Hee!)

Posted by: Jessica | September 10, 2007 10:41 PM

Nice to see you again. Glad your Pop is ok. Now bring it on!

Posted by: Miz | September 10, 2007 10:45 PM

I think we should all send her a bottle of wine to welcome her back and celebrate. And in doxie fashion, a nice red :)

Posted by: Don | September 10, 2007 10:54 PM

so glad that you're back! And I'll see your mullet and raise with my mile high bangs...ahhhh weren't the late 80's early 90's grand?

Posted by: Sandy | September 10, 2007 10:58 PM

*passes out from relief*

I cannot tell you how my heart HURT every day I checked the site and there was the same entry. I was SO FREAKING WORRIED about you and your Daddoo. I audibly gasped when I saw the new entry. So, so, so happy to hear that you and the whole Doxie family is okay, whole, and well. Dios Mio, don't scare the innernets like that! And I want HOURLY UPDATES from now on, because my therapist bills are skyrocketing, dude. Come over to Savannah, Leigh, so I can pet your hair and feed you wine. You can't scare us like that!!!!!

Posted by: missbanshee | September 10, 2007 11:10 PM

YAY! You're back!!!!! I'm so glad your dad is okay. I was worried about him.

Posted by: dcrmom | September 10, 2007 11:27 PM

Loving the pics. My my, those blue socks certainly do match that blue t-shirt, don't they?

So glad you're back! Even gladder your dad is on the road to recovery!

Posted by: Kate | September 10, 2007 11:30 PM

Oh thank goodness you're back! I'm so glad that Papa Doxie is better. GIVE HIM ANOTHER ORANGE. Missed you very much. I'm glad the Internet loves you again.

Posted by: Sunwiggie | September 10, 2007 11:33 PM

A poem. For Miss Doxie.

You were gone and we were sad
Now you are back and we are glad.
Your dad is better hooray hooray
And your sweet post just made my day

The internet can be fickle I do agree
Their tubes get clogged and then they flee
I checked every day I 'll have you know
Missed you, the doxies and even Mr Bo.

Now you are back again hooray
Bring on those pix and stories d' Dukay
Welcome back Miss Doxie one final time
And excuse me for this goofy rhyme.

:-)

Posted by: Kath | September 10, 2007 11:51 PM

Soooo very glad everyone is ok. I had visions...well let's not talk about it. I think margaritas are due to us all and tell your dad to a Sunrise..OJ, you know.

Now, about that uniboob?

Missed you!

Posted by: mama speak | September 10, 2007 11:52 PM

Wait. Pinch rolls aren't cool anymore?

Posted by: June Cutoff Cash | September 11, 2007 12:05 AM

I am SO glad you are back and DoxieDad is okay!!!
All is right with the world once again.

Posted by: Stacey | September 11, 2007 12:11 AM

Oh, Leigh, so happy to see you back. I was just asking some MATH people if you were okay, and I'm glad all is well. Best wishes to Doxie-Dad and the rest of the Doxie family.

Kisses to all your doxies and what's this about a uniboob?

Posted by: Ky Eliza | September 11, 2007 12:21 AM

P.S. Nature's Majesty, plus Acid Wash, plus Impressive Matching.

Posted by: Ky Eliza | September 11, 2007 12:22 AM

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
+Tackle+
You need a newsletter. Or something.
Something you can send out to everyone to say "Hey! The internet caught me cheating on it with reality and left me (again) because it is totally a drama queen, and I am not dead, and neither is Dad or Bo, and I fell down."

Just so we know.
It's great to have you back.

Posted by: teh unibewb's numbar one fan!!1 | September 11, 2007 12:26 AM

Proof that God hears my prayers and even answers the important ones. I am thrilled about the happy outcome.

Posted by: mommamack | September 11, 2007 02:11 AM

You're back -- yay!! You don't know me, but I've missed you! Exclamation mark!

PS. Not insane. Not much, anyway.

Posted by: silverblue | September 11, 2007 04:39 AM

So glad you and your dad and pups are well and the divorce is off and you're back!!!!! Baaack! Cool. I tried to write your email a few times, tell you how much you were missed, but couldn't get through. The bandwidth plays on!! Yeehaaaa!

Posted by: Jen | September 11, 2007 07:02 AM

YESSSSS!!! Miss Doxie's back! Frantic emailing among friends to spread the news. Life is good again.

Posted by: Jude | September 11, 2007 07:10 AM

Oh, thank the wee man, you're back! And your Dad's okay. So glad.
On the downside, if they can bring back legwarmers .....LEGWARMERS for pete's sake, then it's only a matter of time before we are all being cajoled back into acid wash. (And I hear shoulder pads are on their way back too - have to confess, kind of looking forward to that......)

Posted by: Loth | September 11, 2007 07:30 AM

I could weep with joy. In fact, I think I shall.

*sob*

Ok, enough of that shit. Just so glad you are back and everything is OK and that Nasty Innernet is not acting up like a bad weiner dog.

Posted by: Debbie | September 11, 2007 07:49 AM

Glad you are back and all is well! You were missed!

Posted by: Ms. Kitten | September 11, 2007 07:54 AM

I stalked this site daily in breathless anticipation of good news regarding the Doxie Fam. I was almost to the point of writing a desperate "OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO DOXIE DAD?!?! AND MISS DOXIE?? PLEASE E-MAIL ME PERSONALLY!!" But I figured that would be creepy and have the total opposite effect that I wanted. Anyways, I am very glad to hear everything is okay and that the internet is no longer a whore. Thanks for making me giggle hysterically once again. :)

Posted by: Tripping Daisy | September 11, 2007 08:45 AM

Oh, how I have missed you! (in the most non-stalkerish way, k?)

I, too, have been worried about Doxie Dad. I lost my father very unexpectedly (massive heart attack at age 56 on June 6th) right about the time that your father fell seriously ill...and, yes...it sucks. Period.

So, you can understand my concern about Doxie Dad. You're blessed, Leigh. So blessed. So, please take care of him...and harass him, and pelt him with multivitamins and oranges and lots and lots of hugs, please.

And, please - tell us about the killer squirrel. This girl could use some levity in her life right about now.

Posted by: Jerilyn | September 11, 2007 08:57 AM

Glad you are back and your dad is well!

The pictures: awesome. Here's hoping for a couple fine bershon photographs in the future.

Posted by: Andrea | September 11, 2007 09:03 AM

I am incredibly relieved about 2 things this morning...

1 - Doxie, Dad & Doggies are well
2 - that I am not the only normally rational person to turn cyber-stalker in the hopes of finding information about the personal life of a girl that I don't know that makes me laugh on the internet.

I thought I had a life...? No? Okay then. Carry on.

p.s. WE MISSED YOU!!!

Posted by: Laura | September 11, 2007 09:06 AM

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY - I was so friggin worried about your dad - you have NO idea -- that last blog -- and then nothing - I was tempted to email you at work (good ol' marhub). But, I'm not so much of a stalker yet. :) You're BACK and I couldn't be happier. Glad all is well.

Posted by: Scott | September 11, 2007 09:12 AM

I'm so happy to hear you & your dad are both better. Congrats!

Posted by: Lisa | September 11, 2007 09:12 AM

Sorry! I'm so glad you are back and posting awkward pictures...Awesome.

Posted by: Jenn | September 11, 2007 09:23 AM

Thank goodness you and your dad are okay! I've been worrying about you way too much for someone who has never met you. Love the awful pictures of awkwardness!

Posted by: Callie | September 11, 2007 09:27 AM

Yayayayayayaya you're back!

Also: back when the Braves were on a pennant-happy streak, we used to have Braves Day in the elementary school. (This is when you would have been in junior high or high school at the same school as me...name omitted to prevent you from having crazy stalkers.) Anyway, did y'all big kids have Braves Day too? Because I used to wear a pair of red socks, ROLLED DOWN into a nice little donut....on top of a pair of blue socks, rolled down into a donut.

Layered sock rollage.

It was HOT.

Posted by: Cassiopeia | September 11, 2007 09:31 AM

I am mostly a lurker, but a very loyal one. I just wanted to chime in and tell you how happy I am to hear that you and your family are okay. You crack me up and I missed you! Thanks for making up with the Internet - we all know it was his fault anyway!

Posted by: Paula | September 11, 2007 09:36 AM

So glad you're back and that Dad's ok. Whew!

Posted by: Michelle | September 11, 2007 09:45 AM

Weeee you're back! So happy to hear Dad is OK. I was worried! And I love the matching socks. HOT.

Posted by: Molly | September 11, 2007 09:50 AM

Also so very glad to have you back. I was thinking the worst for your dad. Glad all is relative well!

Posted by: Bunny Bunster | September 11, 2007 09:51 AM

So glad to have you back and that your Dad is doing well. Lets go the important things though - how is Bo? The Internet wants to know.

Posted by: Frank | September 11, 2007 10:01 AM

Yay!!!! You're back!!! I have been praying for your dad that everything be okay. I am so glad he is better. And...show that internet who's the boss!!! Good to have you back Miss Doxie.

Posted by: Li'l Foot's Mommy | September 11, 2007 10:11 AM

Delighted you're back, and that your dad is okay! Having dealt with the ups and sudden downs of a sick parent, I was worried for you - to the point where I resorted to googling you to see if anyone had heard anything (Thanks for the encouraging news, Random Blogger With Doxie Information!).

I'm not really a stalker. Not really. Heh.

And Dippin' Dots of Jesus? Honey, I am so ready to hear about that...

Posted by: Barb in Boston | September 11, 2007 10:18 AM

I was so relieved to click on your site & see a new post!! I was very worried about you & your dad & was almost getting ready to drive to Atlanta & show up on your doorstep!!

Glad to see you again!

Posted by: Maggie105 | September 11, 2007 10:20 AM

Hooray! Hooray for Doxie and all her family! I NEVER gave up, I checked EVERY DAY. And, until today? CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT. And anxiety. Thanks for the relief.

Posted by: madeleine | September 11, 2007 10:22 AM

So glad that you are back, that your dad is well and the you and the Internet have made up once and for all! Now bring on the pictures, Bo stories, Gimmmee's uniboob and of course the Dippin Dots of Jesus stories! We want them all now!!!

Posted by: Diane | September 11, 2007 10:23 AM

Oh my thank you gawd. Holy hell I missed my Doxie fix.

Posted by: Ree | September 11, 2007 10:26 AM

So glad to see you back! Missed You!

Posted by: Kari | September 11, 2007 10:35 AM

welcome back! it is so good to read that things are okay and i'm so glad your dad is doing better.

Posted by: alison | September 11, 2007 10:38 AM

Whoo hoo! So glad you are here again.

Posted by: Linda | September 11, 2007 10:57 AM

Holy Dippin Dots of Jesus! I was so worried about DoxieDad that I even started Googling him to see if he had made the obituary column. When you (1) said "staph infection", (2) didn't come back, and (3) your comments went down - I just did the math and got 1+2+3=6 - as in "6 feet under". So glad to hear he's OK - can I hire him to SUE THE INTERNET for emotional damages?

Posted by: IV:XX | September 11, 2007 11:06 AM

Sooooo glad you're back and everything is OKAAA DUKAYY!! Really worried about you these last months. I lost my dad when I was 24 and it ain't fun. I was so hoping this was not the case for you. Can't wait to see what's up with Bo's costume this year!!

Posted by: F2B | September 11, 2007 11:08 AM

I am SOOOOOO glad you are back and everything is fine and all are in one piece. I was SO worried, but you shouldn't apologize for the internet dumping you.

Fortunately, a friend of a friend talked to you and discovered that you were in fact ALIVE and I was able to sleep at night again.

Oh, and also, I had a total blogasm when I saw you had posted!!!!

Posted by: Takin Chances | September 11, 2007 11:27 AM

Gracious, Doxie! It's nice to have you back!

I was totally all prepared to send you an email saying: "Doxie! Where You Be???"

Posted by: Jen | September 11, 2007 11:40 AM

I'm really glad to see that you're back and your dad is much better. I was really dreading calling every law firm in Atlanta and asking to speak to "Miss Doxie"!

Posted by: Cindy | September 11, 2007 11:46 AM

Yeah! You're back! And you're ok! And so is your dad! Am Very Happy Now.

Posted by: alfredsmom | September 11, 2007 11:57 AM

Yay, welcome back! I'm so glad to hear that your dad is ok - I was worried for you and your family!

Posted by: Rebecca | September 11, 2007 12:02 PM

Add me to the tons of adoring fans who are so happy to have you back! I would check your site every day and a little piece of my heart would die when it was the same, sad entry about your dad. So glad to hear he is OK and YAY! Doxie's back!

Posted by: Deb | September 11, 2007 12:05 PM

so, I click on Miss Doxie this morning, expecting the same sad entry, with a little worry in my heart for her, and instead, SHE'S BACK!, AND EVERYTHING IS OK! and we have terrible 80's pics to look forward to, and new dog stories. Everything is now right with the world.

Posted by: Josie | September 11, 2007 12:26 PM

YAY!! You're back! And just in time for my BFF's birthday. She's convinced you posted JUST FOR HER.

So happy to see you again!

Posted by: Heather | September 11, 2007 12:31 PM

Yay for Miss Doxie being back! Yay for your dad feeling better! But mostly, just yay, cause now I can laugh at work again!

Posted by: Lori | September 11, 2007 12:33 PM

Oh, thank God your Dad's ok. I realize it might be odd to be so worried about a stranger's father, but I've felt a kinship with him ever since he tried to make friends with the shark.

I'm so glad he's ok and you're ok and I'm ok and well...I'm just glad.

Welcome back to the Internet, even if he is a skeevy bastard.

Posted by: Contrary | September 11, 2007 01:07 PM

Welcome back! I'm so glad your dad is doing well, and that it was just a temporary internet breakup that kept you away.

Posted by: Kim | September 11, 2007 01:16 PM

YAY! you're back!!!!

Posted by: TL | September 11, 2007 01:17 PM

"The Internet didn't want to hear about the saga of the Dippin' Dots of Jesus, or about how I was attacked by a homicidal squirrel, or about Gimmme's uniboob, or Bo's new sleeping protocols."

I think you underestimate the Internet's preoccupation with the details of the Doxie life. I'm pretty sure we're all dying to hear those stories, and I am not even being sarcastic or facetious.

(So glad you're back!)

Posted by: LadyBug | September 11, 2007 01:32 PM

So glad you're back! We missed you!

Posted by: Kristen | September 11, 2007 01:39 PM

Sweet Jeebus, it's good to see that all are alive and well(ish).

Posted by: Danielle | September 11, 2007 01:55 PM

Mandy says: Doxie!
Mandy says: !!!!!!!!!
Ashley says: sweet!
Mandy says: her dad is OK!
Mandy says: phew
Ashley says: oh good!!!

Actual copy of an IM to my sister the second I saw you had posted. That's a lot of exclamations points.

So! Glad! You're! Back!

Posted by: Mandy | September 11, 2007 02:12 PM

Wheeee! You're back!

Posted by: Melissa | September 11, 2007 02:36 PM

I am doing a little happy dance in my sad little cubicle right now! Welcome back! We missed you!

Don't go away again, PLEEEEAAAASE?

Glad things are ok with your Dad. Now, can we have a Bo update? I am dying to hear how Bo is doing. :)


Posted by: ro | September 11, 2007 02:38 PM

Oh, thank goodness you are back! I had just been introduced to your blog and then, BAM! You were gone! It was like putting a piece of cake in my face and then taking it away! LOVE your blog, BTW (if you couldn't tell)...

Posted by: Page | September 11, 2007 02:41 PM

I am so glad you are back! I didn't e-mail you because I was sure you were inundated with e-mails, but I did google "is miss doxie okay" and actually found a discussion on someone's (can't remember who now) blog that said your dad was better and you were having internet/website problems. So I waited paitently for your internet to get better. Any yay! it is! keep those pics coming they're great.

Posted by: Heather | September 11, 2007 02:53 PM

not to sound too repetitive, but glad to hear your dad is OK. Can't wait to hear all those stories too! :)

Posted by: Louise | September 11, 2007 02:57 PM

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! Doxie is back. Girl, I was a worried mess, I tell you! Way to come back with an awesomely hilarious post...SO worth the wait. I'm so very happy that the pops is healthy again, very worried! I can't wait to see all the pics..That's a great idea. I have your ass TOTALLY beat, though. I'll take your chess pic and raise you one of a Tall, skinny, frizzy red-headed, glasses ans braces wearing, total fucking MESS! Yeah, it was bad.

Posted by: bethany | September 11, 2007 03:02 PM

I m glad your back i was worried!

Posted by: jonelle | September 11, 2007 03:34 PM

SO glad you're back! And all in one piece, with the family intact. Yay, for reals.

Also: are you at the Grand Canyon in that first picture? Because I have almost the EXACT SAME PHOTO of myself. Complete with acid-washed shorts. Good times.

Posted by: jive turkey | September 11, 2007 03:34 PM

I am SO glad you are back!!! I have been looking for a new post EVERY DAMN DAY since you disappeared. I even told all my friends to read your "Mom tried" post (even my mom, she loved it) and then you went away. Don't EVER scare us like that again!!!!!

PS - Give your dad lots of kisses from all of us!!!

Posted by: Anne | September 11, 2007 03:47 PM

Glad to hear that your dad is doing better! I am not much of a "blogger", but was made aware of your site recently (May) by several of my "friend girls" that consider you their "Oprah" of the internet. Although I won't call you Oprah, I am now a fan and love, and appreciate, your wit & humor!

On behalf of the numerous fans of yours I know, (from NYC - to here in Tenn.),... I DID email you at your firm, in mid-August. (So unlike me; sort of made me feel like a stalker!)... I, as well, was concerned about your dad's (as well as YOUR) health... (I had been through a similar experience earlier this year with my mom.)

Don't feel guilty or that you have to apologize for your absence! You obviously have your priorities (family first) in place!

I've always been more of a "big dog" fan, but can't help thinking of you (and your "well-being") every time I see a daschund! (My "potential new neighbors" have two!)...

While channel surfing a couple weeks ago, I came across an old Disney movie named "The Ugly Daschund". It's a "cheesy", 60's type of movie, but a "must see" for you Doxie lovers! (I only caught about 15 minutes of it, so I can't guarantee that it has any entertainment value other than featuring 4 cute daschunds!)

Tomorrow (12th) is my B-day, so while I'm out tonight celebrating, doing a shot or 2 at midnight, I definitely give a toast to "Miss Doxie" and her good news!

Posted by: Greg | September 11, 2007 03:54 PM

Miss Doxie! I was so worried! I even Googled "missdoxie" + "where is she" but nothing of value came up. (Pout.)

I didn't want to e-mail you 'cause I was skeered.

So happy you're back! :D

Posted by: mrsatroxi | September 11, 2007 04:06 PM

So glad you're back, and that all is well.

Posted by: Fraulein N | September 11, 2007 04:21 PM

Thank goodness you're back and everything is ok! I was also mad-Googling the "missdoxie" + "where is she"

Posted by: Ess | September 11, 2007 04:26 PM

Yeah you are back. Notice in all the comments no one even thought that maybe you didn't want to do this anymore. The thought is just to hard to comprehend. We all expect you to just give of your time and creativity to us, free of charge.
Anyway, surprised how many missed you and dutifully checked your site everyday for you to appear again. After all this time we never gave up. Little strange ??????
Thank you. Hi puppies - missed you.

Posted by: Mh | September 11, 2007 05:07 PM

I too Googled "is Miss Doxie OK?"
Glad to see I am not the only one.

Posted by: mh | September 11, 2007 05:11 PM

OMG your dad is ok and you're back!!!! I think you should gimme gimmme to make up for the pain and suffering. No? I'm still glad you're back and everthing is ok.

Posted by: karla | September 11, 2007 07:33 PM

So happy you're back! Even happier your dad's better!

Hail the Second Coming of Doxie!

Posted by: Vaguely Urban | September 11, 2007 10:25 PM

Because I can't possibly read 135 previous comments to try to figure out what HASN'T yet been said, I shall content myself with stating the obvious and shouting

WELCOME BACK SO GLAD YOUR DAD'S OKAY!!!!!!!!

Oh, and glad that you and your special Internet kissed and made up and made sweet, sweet monkey love.

Posted by: Sparrow | September 12, 2007 12:54 AM

Welcome back!! I am very glad your Dad is ok.

Posted by: Anna | September 12, 2007 01:59 AM

I had that same Swatch Watch! Welcome back. Glad your Dad's ok.

Posted by: Layni | September 12, 2007 04:08 PM

Yay! So glad you're back and that everything's OK! I was just telling my husband that I missed you the other day. Is that weird? No, I hope not. Anyway… may the internet never leave you again!

Posted by: Nicole Balch | September 12, 2007 04:20 PM

YAY! I am so glad you are back! Thanks for the email back letting me know that everything was going well. I think it's awesome that you take time to get back to your readers!!

Posted by: Tana | September 12, 2007 06:01 PM

JOY! Miss Doxie and the internet have reunited!

Posted by: vicki | September 12, 2007 06:21 PM

YAAY! add me to the millions GLAD you're back and that Dad is doing well! I hope you remember all your hilarious stories to tell us later... hee.

I have to tell you I did the EXACT SAME THING when I was home at my parents' house two weeks ago. My mom had a garage sale and cleaned out half the attic, opening up access to a big chest of drawers FILLED WITH MY CRAP. First I went through all my toys and embarrassingly bad old art projects. Then I went back to my room and pulled out all my hilariously bad photos. And when I got home I made my fiance look at ALL OF THEM. Because we're getting married in a month so it's too late for him to get away. HA!

Posted by: McKate | September 12, 2007 09:19 PM

YAAAY YOU'RE HERE! also you managed to post three entries before i noticed. way to be speedy on me.

also, hi!

Posted by: Amanda | September 12, 2007 09:38 PM

SO relieved to hear your Dad is doing better. And obviously, thrilled that you're willing to share the awkward years with us!
Please don't go away again!

Posted by: Amy | September 13, 2007 03:38 PM

YAY! And DOUBLE YAY! I'm SO glad things are on the mend and DYING I tell you, DYING to hear about the squirrel and ghost both. Now back to the normal routine of co-workers wondering wtf I am laughing about. LOVE IT! Welcome back!!

Posted by: Angel | September 13, 2007 04:43 PM

Yayyyyyyy!

Posted by: shy Victoria | September 13, 2007 10:05 PM

woo hoo! I am so glad you're back. Now life can get back to normal!

Posted by: MJF | September 14, 2007 12:13 PM

I initially found your blog sometime ago by googling "how fast can a doxie run". Been die hard ever since. Being a lowly paralegal, your site has kept me going and made eating lunch at desk desirable. I am so very happy to hear that your dad is well. Actually googled "where is Miss Doxie" and yes, everyone was looking for you too. This made me feel a little better and not so much of a stalker. You and yours are loved. So glad you are back. Thank you for making our lives a little more light hearted.

Posted by: heather | September 14, 2007 02:19 PM

I am so glad to see you are back! I've been going through miss doxie withdrawl....

and please PLEASE tell us about the Dippin Dots for JEEBUS!!

Posted by: katie | September 14, 2007 03:11 PM

woo!

Posted by: Chuck | September 16, 2007 10:50 PM

So glad you're back and that your dad's better.

You were missed!

:)

Posted by: Jenny Ryan | September 17, 2007 09:30 AM

I was beginning to think it was my fault you had disappeared. A friend of mine put me onto your post about your mom taking the dog to the vet(I have 4 rescued dachshunds hence the name dachsielvr) and the next day you went *poof*. I checked every day at first, then once a week. I thought I would give it the good ole college try today and to my surprise and joy you're back. I was so worried about your dad and glad he's OK.

Dachsielvr who hails from IL

Posted by: Ness | September 20, 2007 08:46 PM

Yay! You're back! I really need your particular brand of craziness. It makes me happy. Go figure. ;+) Glad you're back and Dad's on the mend.

Posted by: ZaZa | September 20, 2007 09:41 PM

Yippee! Yippee! Maisie the dachshund and I have been missing you.

Posted by: Christen | September 22, 2007 06:30 PM

Yay! The only reason I didn't "reorganize" you out of my bookmarks is that I believed if I left you on there you would reappear someday. And look! I have magical powers and can control the universe.

Posted by: dgm | September 22, 2007 09:41 PM

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