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Day 5: Super Mottled

September 25, 2007

Hi! Remember when I said I would be back on Monday? I meant Tuesday. Of...the next week. Sigh.

I am sorry. I lied to you and told you a story that was made of snips and snails and falsehoods, but that is because I had no idea of what the following week would have in store, all of which was Bad, to put things mildly. To put things more accurately, the last week turned out to be a total fucking nightmare, and I had to go out of town with zero notice except "QUICKPACK", and then I got whacked with this emergency project that we usually have ten days to file, but in this instance we had a grand total of 72 hours, and so I was awake for 72 hours, which I thought was just fucking shiny, and then I got incredibly, disgustingly sick and sneezed on everything before going to bed for a day and a half.

But, hey. HEY. Wasn't I supposed to be doing something funny in these paragraphs? Indeed, I was, so let's get on that and not complain about anything else. Except maybe my forgotten love affair with high-waisted jeans, which ultimately came to a tragic end for everyone involved.

So, moving on! Day 5! This was sort of an in-between period, apparently -- the first year or two of high school, when the braces came off and I finally started to get a little less funny looking. Still, not to worry, as I compensated for my relative decrease in Ugly by dressing in clothes that made me look like any one of the following:

(a) I’m heading off to a PTA meeting in my wood-paneled minivan, in spite of the fact that I am not yet old enough to vote. Why, a bake sale?! I vote "Yum!"

(b) I am a crossdresser.

(c) I am an armchair.

Seriously. BEHOLD THE EVIDENCE:

more fun with highwaisted pants.jpg

Photographer: Okay, first: pull up your pants.

Self: Like this?

Photographer: No. Higher. Can you get them boob-level? It's slimming.

Self: This is as high as they go, I think.

Photographer: Hmm. Not good. Maybe if...okay, tuck in your sweater.

Self: Tuck in my sweater? But it's...a sweater.

Photographer: Yes.

Self: And...boxy, though.

Photographer: Look. Sigh. Do you want to be fashionable, or do you want to look like a complete idiot?

Self: I think the first one.

Photographer: Good. Okay, now, we're going to need a belt. Something...wait, I am having a vision right now. And in this vision I see: gold.

Self: This belt has a really shiny gold buckle; will it work?

Photographer: YES. It is PIRATE CHIC. Now roll up your sleeves and slouch.

Self: Okay.

Photographer: Slouch a little more...a liiiiittle more...really hunch those shoulders....YES! YES PERFECT. Now sneer and squint, and we're looking at the cover of Seventeen!

...At least, that is what I imagined happened.

I blame that same photographer for coaching me in the following picture, where I continue to be plagued by high-waisted jeans, only now I'm burning my fashion candle on both ends, so to speak, with the pinch rolling:

peggd and high waisted.jpg

DOG ESCAPE FROM SCARY PANT NOW.

But, you know, it wasn't all bad jeans and frump. I mean, frump stayed, and then somewhere along the line I decided that it would be a good idea to wear my father's clothes. Specifically, the clothes that did not even begin to fit me, even in my imagination. So I stole pretty much all of the poor man's dress shirts, which I then wore buttoned alllll the way to my chin. Of course, they were enormous on me, so the result was a visually unsettling triangle effect, and either the shirt ballooned around me, tentlike, or I tried to stuff eight yards of starched cotton down into my jeans, which made me look like I was pregnant in both the front and back of my body. And I remember doing this intentionally, all the time, yet as far as I know, I have never suffered a head injury.

I wish I had a better picture of this phenomenon (which...really, this lasted for ages), but we will have to settle for this, the bonus being that when this picture was taken, hairbrushes were illegal in my state. Seriously, look it up if you don't believe me.

not my shirt.jpg

I learned it from watching you, Dad!

Apparently, all this starched shirt counterculture led naturally to the next stage of being, wherein I decide that I am some kind of badass, and this is a fact that must be broadcast to the world by my apparel. And that is what is happening here, where I am about ten times cooler than Christmas tree decorating, GOD, and also: HEY WORLD. I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM AWARE OF THE EXISTENCE OF ALCOHOL. I HAVE ITS SHIRT.

im bad.jpg

But my hair is a rastafarian!

Hee. Oh, I was dumb.

But, hey. It could have been worse. I could have gone all obnoxiously girly, right? With lace and layers and floof and tremendous patterns in a variety of pastel hues? That would have been awful! Ha ha!

not alone.jpg

Hello. I'm your curtains.

Yeah. But at least I am not the only one. And, actually, judging from y'all's comments, it sounds like plenty of you have excellent pictures, as well! And someone smart in the comments suggested we do a group or something, so we can see them all, and I thought, Hey! That would be a fun idea! Go, Smart Person!

So, know what we should do, and what I will actually do myself, if I can figure it out? Flickr Group! Flickr Group of discomfort! A special place! A Clubhouse of Crap, all ours, and we could crimp each other's hair and compare acne treatments all day long.

So, y'all think about that; if I build it, would y'all come? Or am I going to be left with my pinch rolls, all alone?

Posted by doxie in Times I Fell Down | permalink

91 Comments

OK, I figured you were lawyering. I used to date one of you. I remember how busy he could get.
So, welcome back, glad you are. My Dos Weiners and I missed you.

Posted by: Debbie | September 25, 2007 06:01 PM

Build it, Missy!

Posted by: Lulu | September 25, 2007 06:03 PM

shit, I accidently posted twice before. I forgot to tell you Thank You for making me laugh. Although I am Seriously making it a point to PEE before I read your blogs.

Posted by: Debbie | September 25, 2007 06:05 PM

You're mocking Laura Ashley?!?? I LOVED Laura Ashley!

Posted by: victoria | September 25, 2007 06:06 PM

I will come! Build it! And, I am SO GLAD to see that I am not the only one who went through that inexplicably weird dad's-dress-shirts stage.

Because seriously, wtf?

Posted by: elise | September 25, 2007 06:18 PM

Build it - am digging out precious photos tonight. Bring it on.

Posted by: Kitty | September 25, 2007 06:27 PM

I will be there with Rum and Wine.

Posted by: Tami | September 25, 2007 06:31 PM

I will come! I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one who refused to wear anything other than XXL shirts, even though I weighed all of 110 pounds. I told my mom I had to buy them that big, because I was tall. Obviously.

Posted by: Rachel | September 25, 2007 06:31 PM

Yah, yah - build it!

Posted by: kris | September 25, 2007 06:35 PM

If you build it, I will come...

Posted by: Christen | September 25, 2007 06:40 PM

omg - I seriously think I had that dress!

Posted by: Kristin | September 25, 2007 06:41 PM

Oh I'll come show horrid pictures. Oh yes oh yes I will.

Posted by: Kateastrophe | September 25, 2007 07:06 PM

Haha I lost it around the point when you said "DOG ESCAPE FROM SCARY PANT NOW"....I'm very very glad to know that I'm not alone in my history of bad photos!!

Posted by: Amanda | September 25, 2007 07:13 PM

I learned it from watching you, Dad....

...all right? I learned it from watching you!

Awesome comercial.

I love that high collar look. I bet your Dad loved it too considering NOBODY could break into that ensemble.

I only wish we could see more cross-dressing evidence. Perhaps in the Flickr group?

Posted by: Chollyson | September 25, 2007 07:19 PM

Wow. If that last picture isn't from my sorority rush week, then you were clearly in some parallel universe. My freshman year in college so please note I can't even blame this one on junior high or high school in south Florida.

Something about the words "sorority rush" in 1988 made me head straight to the nearest Laura Ashley boutique and purchase every-floral-looking-slipcover dress they had available.

Good stuff.

Posted by: Floyd | September 25, 2007 07:25 PM

Not only did I do the Dad's dress shirts thing, I took it to a whole new level of cool. Suspenders over the dress shirts. And vests! Vests from suits meant to be worn by grown up men with jobs! And sometimes? A fedora. Because nothing says, "I'm cool, you know you want to date me", like a fedora.

Posted by: Jen | September 25, 2007 07:27 PM

I have many pictures of Big Hair from High School! I will share them on flickr, if only to lessen your personal humiliation.

Posted by: Holly | September 25, 2007 07:39 PM

I, for one, will embrace this new Flickr group.

Posted by: Tracy27 | September 25, 2007 07:49 PM

Ooh ooh ooh! I'll gladly claim the title of Smart Person, even though I know I am not the only one that suggested we share our dirty, dirty secrets. Keep an eye out for me...I'll be the one with the haircut that was so bad, someone actually wrote in my 6th grade yearbook "you look like an ice-cream cone". I was HOTT.

Posted by: parp! | September 25, 2007 08:01 PM

You most definitely were not alone. I wore a floral Laura Ashley dress with sailor color and satin front ribbon bow to my high school graduation. With white hose and white flats with gold buckles.

HOW RETARDED COULD I HAVE BEEN?

Posted by: Katie (The Yap) | September 25, 2007 08:05 PM

You name the flickr URL and I'll be there in my Madonna-lace-fingerless gloves with a seven foot tall can of Sebastian's Shaper spray.

Posted by: Cheryl | September 25, 2007 08:22 PM

Greetings from Nova Scotia! I just came across your blog last week and spent all day friday at work reading it. Thankfully I am a civil servant! I want you to know that you are wonderfully funny and my new favorite!

I am almost positive that my mother had your dress as curtains in the kitchen back in the early 80's.

Cheers darlin'

Posted by: honeythedoggy | September 25, 2007 08:30 PM

OMG, you should, that'd be great. I have a wonderful picture of myself which I might even be able to locate...I'm sitting on a couch in my PAJAMAS, made up to the nines, because I'd been playing with makeup that evening. I was about 13 at the time.

Posted by: Mauigirl | September 25, 2007 08:41 PM

Dude, I will so come and visit. And bring my floofy bangs and a hoola-hoop.

Posted by: Michelle D | September 25, 2007 08:47 PM

Hi. My name is John.

(Hi, John!)

I'm a man and I, too, had pinch rolls in my pants. Pinch rolls tucked nicely above high-topped Adidas with fat (phat?) laces and a collar-upturned Ocean Pacific button down.

(Groan)

I'm John and I was a dork.

(Yes, yes you were)

Posted by: JBM | September 25, 2007 08:49 PM

That would be a ridiculously awesome Flickr group. I might even pony up some of my horrid 80s fashions for it. Maybe.

Posted by: velocibadgergirl | September 25, 2007 08:51 PM

Yikes, if you're my curtains, I'm not going home! Scary floral print!! I'm less afraid of the bad-ass whiskey-drinking girl.

Posted by: Kathryn | September 25, 2007 08:58 PM

Hey Katie (the yap)--
You stole my high school graduation outfit!! I remember my mom saying that it was an awful lot to spend on a dress for one wearing, and I SWORE I would wear it FOR-EV-ER. Or, as it turns out, once.

Posted by: Amy | September 25, 2007 09:10 PM

"Photographer: Slouch a little more...a liiiiittle more...really hunch those shoulders....YES! YES PERFECT."

That was *totally* worth the wait. Thank you.

Posted by: catherino | September 25, 2007 09:21 PM

OMG! I am so in for the bad 80's fashion Flickr group! I will bring not only photos of myself, but my awesome sister too!

Posted by: The Queen | September 25, 2007 09:25 PM

Oh yeah, if you build it, me and my gawwwd awful giant bows and polka dotted leggings will be there! LOL

Posted by: mouse | September 25, 2007 09:34 PM

John? Let's make out.

Posted by: missdoxie | September 25, 2007 09:35 PM

Oh, my dad haaaaated the days of "Father's ginormous clothes = the height of pre-teen fashion." If you bring it up, he's still a little bitter. His favorite shirts were always missing.

I remember the days of boxer shorts as regular, to-be-seen-in-public shorts, too. Do you remember that? My grandpa had a fit when he went to a high school football game and saw ALL THE GIRLS wearing MEN'S UNDERWEAR, in PUBLIC. Hee.

Posted by: Kate | September 25, 2007 09:40 PM

For a minute? I thought those other floral people were all women with big black bobs, with their back to the camera, like they were imitating the Sgt. Pepper album.

What wine?

Posted by: June Cutoff Cash | September 25, 2007 09:55 PM

I will learn how to scan photos just so I can join you!

Posted by: Susan | September 25, 2007 10:02 PM

I've already started something similar on my blog as I approach my 31st birthday... so I'd gladly join a flickr group!!

It makes me feel better knowing that I wasn't the only one dressing like this back in the day!

Posted by: Lydia | September 25, 2007 10:05 PM

Yes, build it! I will even post pictures of my El Dukay-ish khakis w/ wee turtles embroidered on them. Oh the horror!

Posted by: Amy Paul | September 25, 2007 10:07 PM

Oh my G-D BRING IT. I'm in. I promise you I have the scariest 90s hair in the universe.

Am not proud. But? Will totally join.

Posted by: Pammer | September 25, 2007 10:10 PM

If I can possibly figure out how to get a photo on Flickr, I'll be there. However judging from my own past forays into fashion, my intelligence is certainly debatable. My poor parents - they so should have bought stock in Laura Ashley in the 80s.

Posted by: liz | September 25, 2007 10:13 PM

I know there are bad pictures of me out there, the only question is, do I have possesion of bad pictures. After my father died my step mom kicked me out and has probably 99% of said pictures (assuming she didn't burn them).

As you can understand I am not incontact with her. I definatley have one though, I believe it involves a puffy headband and a shirt with fruit.

Posted by: courtney | September 25, 2007 10:23 PM

If you build it....They or I will come. I think that is a great idea.

Glad your back

Posted by: Amy | September 25, 2007 11:11 PM

Build it. I may be able to track down some pictures of the MULLET that my mom had cut in my hair when I was the tender age of 5. Seriously! It is just shameful to do that to someone who can't defend their own hair!

Posted by: Linsey | September 25, 2007 11:21 PM

Hee hee! You could do the alphabet for the hall of shame, M for Mullet, C for the crimper years, N for Noxzema, P for Pleats and so on...

Posted by: Cara | September 25, 2007 11:29 PM

Wow. Laura Ashley. Do you have a photo with combination drop waist/belted AND lace collar? If so, Doxie could be my twin from another lifetime of bad fashion decisions....

Posted by: Cricket | September 25, 2007 11:31 PM

It would be both my honor and my "dasgust" to join the Flickr group...also Pic one above the last? BERSHON!

Posted by: ScottsdaleGirl | September 26, 2007 01:02 AM

With *my* dad's oversized button-down shirt, I wore one of those 0h-so-great huge pleather belts that were made to be worn on the outside of your clothes. You could not, in fact, wear it through belt loops because the thing hung down lower in the front than in the back, crossing over in a "no, you may NOT touch here" X. Except the forbidden area was the belly button. And we called the pinch-rolling "parachuting." With the HUGE poufy hair (seriously, I looked like a lion) and a ton of black eyeliner, I was all that. mk

Posted by: markira | September 26, 2007 07:19 AM

OH I AM SO *THERE*, HONEY! If you build it... we will come! Or I will, anyhoo. If I can figure out how.

Posted by: Caroline | September 26, 2007 07:37 AM

"which made me look like I was pregnant in both the front and back of my body"..............


HA!

That line was worth a week of no entries!

You lawyer so much that you get sick!??!? Quit that shit right now and just entertain us on you blog and your ShopDoxie web site!!!

In my 6th grade class picture (which I saved for some reason) I hadn't washed my hair in 2 weeks...........now thats just precious!


ps.........do I get xtra credit for plugging ShopDoxie?!??!

jp

Posted by: jp | September 26, 2007 08:07 AM

I'm IN.

Until you give word, I will seek to unearth evidence of those moments in Dad's oversized shirts, topped with his oversized shoulder-padded blazers. Let the digging begin.

Posted by: dgm | September 26, 2007 08:17 AM

I'm completely and totally in. Assuming I can find all my embarrassing pictures. Do big ruffled shoulder prom dresses count?

Posted by: Leandra | September 26, 2007 08:23 AM

Oh, I am THERE. And bringing it.

Posted by: jive turkey | September 26, 2007 08:56 AM

Thank God you are back! I do believe I had several (and when I say several I mean dozens!) "curtain dresses" from Laura Ashley that I thought were just soooo lovely. And I had the really stylish adult floral romper for that extra sophisticated flair every teenager goes for. Hopefully, I don't have photographic evidence to document it.

Posted by: Andrea | September 26, 2007 09:12 AM

I am soooo going to go dig out my old pictures from my parents house because let me tell you, the embarassment was on a grand scale. And yet, we honestly thought we looked good.

It makes me wonder if I actually look good NOW, or if I am still in denial...at least I left my dads flannels finally.

Posted by: Aimee | September 26, 2007 09:53 AM

Build it! Build it! Build it!

Posted by: Li'l Foot's Mommy | September 26, 2007 09:56 AM

I used to steal my Dad's v-neck black cashmere sweater and wear it. Back to front. With a string of pearls. I think you'd better build that site.

Posted by: Loth | September 26, 2007 10:01 AM

I'm trying to furnish our new house and my mom has been offering cast offs from my childhood home. Yesterday she so kindly offered me my circa 1992 Laura Ashley bed spread which I politely declined.

Posted by: ard | September 26, 2007 10:05 AM

I second that other poster. BERSHON! You need to post some of these on that FLickr group. Particularly the Christmas shot. Check it out.

And I will be at the new group with my backwards V-neck Limited sweater with 2/$24 neon print t-shirts, sweater vest, collar-up polo and peg legged pleated jeans. And hideous home perm.

Posted by: Laura | September 26, 2007 10:45 AM

I think I had the flowery dress the girl next to you is wearing. I wore it to my junior high graduation! I forgot that phase where we all looked like furniture from the Golden Girls. Those were the days.

Posted by: Em | September 26, 2007 11:09 AM

I have more ugly pictures from more recent years than I care to admit.

I am totally on board for a Flickr group!

Posted by: Sarah | September 26, 2007 11:15 AM

Please build a group, if only so the elderly among your admirers (like myself) can demonstrate that the 70s were much, much more frightening fashion-wise than the 80s. Somewhere in my parents' albums is a photo of me from 1975, 11 yrs old, wearing (hold your breath) brown/white houndstooth check double-knit pants, a bright yellow ruffly polyester blouse, and white patent leather sandals with red knee socks. And tortoise-shell glasses.

Posted by: Susan | September 26, 2007 11:49 AM

like, i'm like, totally there, like, hello? fer sher.

Posted by: jennifer | September 26, 2007 12:09 PM

I hear you Susan...........my sister and I had matching turquoise and orange polyester Danskin pants and tops outfits!

Those suckers melted when you ironed them!

Posted by: jp | September 26, 2007 12:28 PM

I LOVE this current series of posts! I'm just about the same age as you and I swear I have many of the same sorts of photos, although perhaps even more unfortunate because there was a period where I permed my bangs (and only my bangs), and where I wore really incredibly hideous glasses, and where I only wore Very. Bright. Colors., and where I...

Well, you get the point. Who knew I'd ever get a laugh out of those cringe-worthy moments in my life.

Posted by: Stephanie | September 26, 2007 01:04 PM

Oooh, build it. I'm just enough older than you that my high school hair is 80s-fabulous! Also, we NEED to see the shirtdress/complimentary ornamented shoes/bandana-esque scarf/matching earrings ensemble.

Posted by: Aunt Tasty | September 26, 2007 01:07 PM

You look like you're trying to be an Hispanic gang member in the giant, white buttoned-to-the-chin shirt. har!

Posted by: Michelle | September 26, 2007 01:45 PM

Please build it. I have already identified a fantastic picture in front of SEARS in approximately 1983, which really wants to join the fun.

Posted by: MISSY | September 26, 2007 01:54 PM

I will be there AND be square. Plans for raiding my mother's photo albums are already taking shape...

Posted by: heels | September 26, 2007 02:16 PM

June Cutoff Cash,

Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I couldn't figure out why Miss Doxie was the only one facing in the direction of the camera. And then I did. And immediately felt stupid. But at least I'm not alone!

Posted by: Tory | September 26, 2007 02:30 PM

I will "see" your pinch rolls (which we called tight-rolls down here in Tallahassee), and raise you with a bad perm PLUS cowboy boots over jeans!

Posted by: Jenn | September 26, 2007 02:38 PM

Oh, I was way too uncool in the 80's to join your group. I would gladly visit, though.

It's funny, though, because in twenty years, women in their thirties will be scrolling through pictures of themselves in their teens and will be laughing and groaning alternately at what they were wearing. ("One tank top was not warm enough, so I am wearing... two?").

Posted by: Rachel | September 26, 2007 02:54 PM

I think I saw your Laura Ashley dress florals on a couch in Swan House.

Posted by: mommamack | September 26, 2007 04:23 PM

I think that there are no photos of me in my Laura Ashley, but if there are it involves a perm.

What were those rubber sunglasses? Great things to wear with the Jams shorts, came in bright colors. I had those. And, um, did I mention perms?

This thread is killing me! Oh yegad I do have some pics that could be posted...I'm thinking of a lovely Esprit color-coordinated shorts and shirt ensemble featuring: turquoise! And polka dots!

Posted by: marybindc | September 26, 2007 04:37 PM

We called the pants rolling phenom "pegging" as in "I pegged my pants" odd... also, please build it Doxie! I have actual photo evidence of a perm (bad)whilst wearing jean shorts (cutoffs) over PURPLE TIGHTS!!!! WHY???? Because it's winter, but see I want to wear shorts... no not a skirt... Shorts, with my purple tights... there may be a vest involved... there is definitely a fedorah like hat... all at the same time. It is so so wrong.

Posted by: Lis | September 26, 2007 05:09 PM

With *my* dad's oversized button-down shirt, I wore one of those 0h-so-great huge pleather belts that were made to be worn on the outside of your clothes. You could not, in fact, wear it through belt loops because the thing hung down lower in the front than in the back, crossing over in a "no, you may NOT touch here" X. Except the forbidden area was the belly button. And we called the pinch-rolling "parachuting." With the HUGE poufy hair (seriously, I looked like a lion) and a ton of black eyeliner, I was all that. mk

Posted by: markira | September 26, 2007 05:23 PM

Oh YES! A Flickr group! I am dying to share my foray into Gaucho pants hell with the whole blog-o-sphere. Not to metion Hang Ten shirts and water buffalo sandals. Or perhaps the whole black leather metal-head thing of the early eighties.....

Posted by: Sharon | September 26, 2007 09:25 PM

Oh, dear God. The memories are flooding back. Anyone remember Gunne Sax?

How sad are you for me that I would seriously wear one of those skirts again?

Anyone else wanna' fess up to the fashion shame that they're still fond of??

By the way, you should SERIOUSLY do a Flickr album of our most hideous 80's fashion moments caught on film. We could vote for the worst ensemble and reward the winner with donations in her/his name to your favorite charity (DRNA).

Whaddya' think?

Posted by: Stephanie | September 26, 2007 10:39 PM

I'm in! Must hunt down the poufy-haired, Laura Ashley, tucked-in-dad's shirt pics. Too bad there isn't one of my bad self in TWO satin shirts (sleeves rolled together, natch) tucked into black satin harem pants, worn above white high-tops with mismatched neon socks peeking out. Yeah, you know you'd have lusted after me.

Posted by: ysabelkid | September 27, 2007 03:03 AM

"Hello. I'm your curtains."

LMAO!

Posted by: Stacy | September 27, 2007 09:59 AM

I will TOTALLY be there with my middle school scrunchees and my huge high school hippie hair parted down the middle and my giant eyebrows, but it might be a while, sadly, because all my photos are on the opposite side of the country from me, and I won't be back there until Christmas.

BTW, I'm pretty sure I had the EXACT dress as the girl to your left in that last picture, and my sister had the exact one you're wearing... except wait, no, hers instead of flowers had these really cool triangles, squiggles and squares... wow.

Posted by: BaddMinton | September 27, 2007 12:18 PM

Is that Little Orphan Annie with all the curtains? I can't tell because you blotted out her face. I guess it's a hard knock life...

Posted by: Lani | September 27, 2007 01:37 PM

Oh man, I went through the SAME PHASES those first years of high school, though I think I was busy stealing my dad's flannel lumberjack shirts. Close enough.

Posted by: Noelle | September 27, 2007 03:40 PM

I definitely would participate ... was soooo jr. hi proud of my perm and "Guess" acid washed jeans with my comb handle sticking out of my back pocket at the skating rink...sneaking flirty looks at my crush at that time hoping he'd notice and ask me to skate to REO Speedwagon's "Keep on Lovin' You".

Posted by: Shelly | September 27, 2007 04:10 PM

If you build it, I shall show up with all evidence of my floufy, flowery, high-waisted,madonna wannabe, terrible hair years. I think it is brilliant idea!

Posted by: Sabine | September 27, 2007 04:57 PM

I think I had every outfit that is in that last pic. AND a (bad terrible horrible) perm.

Sheesh.

Posted by: mrsatroxi | September 27, 2007 05:51 PM

Oh, dear baby Jesus, do I have some awful photos to share! Two words: Stirrup Pants! Has anything ever been sexier than stirrup pants, especially after you've been sitting in class and have the big pouchy areas where your knees were?

Build it, Doxie! Build it and we will all come!

Posted by: Leesavee | September 27, 2007 10:32 PM

Oooh, I did the dad's shirt thing, too, which was hysterically funny because my dad was HUGE. However, I wore them soft and wrinkled and unbuttoned as far as I could get away with. And, I wore them over these... well, they weren't stirrup pants, but they were stretch pants, and I got them at American Eagle. I loved this combination; for reasons unknown to myself, I felt very urbane and sexy when I wore these outfits. And I wore either Keds or Chucks with it, too. Then there was my phase of wearing layers of grunge-inspired guys clothing, i.e. baggy flannels, thermal shirt, huge sweatshirt on top of that, boys Levis, and Chucks. Mysteriously there are zero pictures of me wearing such ensembles. I had a very schizo sense of style in high school, I think I liked to try on all different personae.

Posted by: lydia | September 28, 2007 02:20 AM

I will DEFINITELY be in your Flickr group. I have some great stuff involving a lot of Neon and Stirrup pants to share!

Posted by: Pocklock | September 28, 2007 05:48 PM

You could call those some BOB pants--butt on backward!

Posted by: SuzieQ | September 29, 2007 01:21 PM

I blame Duckie from Pretty in Pink and Patrick Dempsey in Can't Buy Me Love for the Men's shirt thing.

They confused us, so we joined them.

At least you never wore the pseudo-bowler hat with silk ribbon and thought you were Annie Hall.

And as of yet, I haven't seen anything resembling a "Blossom" outfit..so I give you props for that. That show was a boil on the butt of humanity.

Posted by: Circe | September 30, 2007 01:44 AM

You can diss on Laura Ashley but don't mess w/ Jessica McClintock (sp?) cuz I still have my awesome awesome prom dress I wore my junior year in high school AND I can still fit in it AND I look better - even if my hips are not teen size anymore, dude.. I still rock that dress. It's sad that when I wore it tho my bangs were 5 inches high and I was sunburnt from the tanning bed. Oh those were the days.

Posted by: Angel | October 3, 2007 01:17 AM

My Mom went out of town for a family emergency when I was 12. She came home and when she walked off the plane and saw me, she screamed. My FATHER had cut my wonderful, feminine long hair into a mullet. A horrid, 80's mullet in which my bangs were Aqua Netted(really more like Aqua GLUED)into a 6 inch peak. I have the photo and I have NEVER shown anyone. I would reveal this evidence if you set up a site-if only to prove to my father that it was a form of torture.

Posted by: CrazyBabyMamaJen | October 3, 2007 04:27 PM

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