Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! And Other Crap
Good...afternoon! I think it is afternoon. I am not wholly sure, but it is my belief that noon has already happened, even if I was not awake to see it. But, that is okay, because it is a holiday weekend! Also, the weekend during which one of my best friends from high school is getting married. That means we haven't had a hell of a lot of sleep. Cocktails, on the other hand, have been plentiful. And nothing stands in the way of my wine, baby.
I really don't have excessive amounts of things for this entry, because it's really more of a head's-up, hello, y'all look at this! kind of thing. Which is atrociously boring, isn't it? But, you know, if I think about it, I bet before I am finished writing all of these words down, something will remind me of something else, and then I will go off on a tangent and we will all be treated to a story about how I fell down/flashed someone/ate something peculiar. Because that is just how I roll. You maybe noticed.
Anyway! SO, here is the latest, in no particular order, and also I am hungry, but nobody can help me there, because the only thing in my refrigerator is mustard:
1. For a variety of issues, most of which stem from my inherent ineptitude and laziness (hi!), I'm extending the sale at my shop. And if I ever get around to it (see: ineptitude, laziness), I will add the new paintings that are sitting in a very colorful stack in the office. We'll see how THAT goes, but you know. When I said all that stuff about three days? Lying through my teeth, apparently. Come flog me!
1(a). I can't stop saying "flogging." Flogging! I have been threatening floggings, describing floggings, and loudly suggesting floggings for days now. How did that get stuck in my head, I wonder? I think maybe the history channel.
1(b). Which doesn't make much sense, actually, now that I think about it, because I haven't been watching the history channel very much lately. No. Instead -- and here we enter into a whole new world of pathetic, I warn you -- I have been staying up all night, or getting up very early, to deal with either (a) the law, or (b) the shop, or (c) any one of ten trillion other things I am trying to get accomplished. And this would suck, except that, every morning, starting at either 6 or 7 a.m. (I think it's 7, but I always forget), some Atlanta channel starts playing back to back episodes of Saved By The Bell. And I...can't help myself. I watch them all, all the way up until they end at 9 a.m. and stupid Dawson's Creek comes on, and that "I don't wanna wait!" starts playing and signifies the end of my television enjoyment, and kills a tiny bit of my soul. And this is just not right, but y'all, I could watch the "I'm so excited!" Jessie Spano caffeine pill meltdown all day long. Like, if it was just that episode over and over, I would be completely satisfied with my life, and would make a little cocoon on the sofa and live there, with the dogs and my personal enjoyment at watching the most unrealistic drug binge of all time. Jessie's so excited? Well, ME TOO. Woo!
2. Hey, should I just go back to bed? I should probably just go back to bed. And forget this entry ever existed. And yet, I forge on.
3. Anyway. Not that you will ever trust my opinion again now that I have told you about my SBTB obsession (did I just abbreviate that? Did), but I have to share something else now. So, pretty much my favorite singer/songwriter is Bill Mallonee, former lead singer of the Vigilantes of Love. And this man is just unreasonably talented, and his lyrics will fucking slay you, every time. If you've never heard of him, I highly, HIGHLY recommend that you check him out, especially if you like pretty music and incredible lyrics (seriously, he references Salome and Pavlov, in the same sentence. Who can do that, without the sentence being, "History contains people named Salome and Pavlov. Have a party!"?) . At any rate, this is his site, and at his mp3 store, you can listen to snippets and download mp3s; and right now, if you have both fingers and speakers, you should go listen to a little bit of Skin (scroll down to the sixth song, and click on the music-y icon). That is my favorite song of ever. It's about Vincent Van Gogh! Cutting off his ear! Ow! But, good!
ANYWAY. More importantly, even, is that Bill is playing a free show on Sunday at the Decatur Arts Festival, and Dukay and I are totally going, even though we are going to smell like liquor, and even though Dukay knows that the possibility exists that I will fall madly in love with this man and offer to have a bucketful of his children. WHATEVER, because that is a small price to pay for a free show, is our thinking. And also, I have always wanted to go to the Decatur Arts Festival. Doesn't it look cool? Si.
SO. If you're in town and not off gallivanting somewhere fun for Memorial Day, you should go! It's at 2 p.m. And you should bring me some wine, please. I will probably need it.
4. That's all I've got, except for one funny thing I just remembered as I was typing (did I say that would happen? Did!), and which occurred last weekend, and which I was reminded of thanks to the roughly ten thousand references to alcohol in this entry. See, we had to make this video. For work. For a sexual harassment training skit. And Cookie, who I used to love but now might have to flog (Floggings!), did all the casting for the script. And guess who she chose for the drunken office slut? Yeah.
For my part, I wore:
1. A very short lace dress I bought at Goodwill for $3 that morning;
2. A hairpiece;
3. Someone's grandma's fur coat (Dear PETA: NOT MINE! NOT MY FUR! DON'T PICKET!);
4. A tiara; and, during certain portions of the video,
5. A lampshade.
The character was really a stretch for me, obviously, as the images below -- which are stills taken directly from our TRAINING video, which will be shown to MANY PEOPLE -- amply demonstrate:
But solution good. HI WINE!
Yep. I'm 110% professional! And nothing stands in the way of my wine. Which is precisely how I started this entry. Hi!
So, that is it! Happy Memorial Day, and I hope to see some of y'all on Sunday!