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Been Caught Stealing

February 21, 2007

Hi, y'all! So, here is something that I find enormously funny, and also, a testament to the lengths to which I will go in order to avoid washing the slipcovers. That is pretty much all the explanation I can provide for my actions, which are both crafty and criminal. But, even though I can't give you an explanation, I can give you some backstory. Which I will begin...now!

So, Monday was our managing partner's birthday. He's awesome, so everyone in the firm was circulating cards, and sneaking cake into the conference room for a surprise party, and generally telling the partner how cool he is for not replacing all of us with robots.

And, amid all this excitement, I thought: you know, I should do something. Sure, I signed the group card, but I've known the managing partner since I was nine! A group card is not enough for someone you've known for twenty years. I needed to do something more to show my appreciation, affection, and similar fuzzy emotions.

I figured I'd go downstairs and buy a card from the little convenience store in our building. So down in the elevator I rode, and into the convenience store I went, and many, many hideous cards did I see. Cards with...teddy bears. And butterflies. And Jack Handey-style Deep Thoughts along the lines of, "You are special to me. Also amazing. Being with you is an amazing experience. Also special." Each card was like the transcription of a reality makeover show (Journey! Transformation! AMAZING!), and none of that really screamed me, and it certainly didn't scream "Appropriate card to give to the managing partner of your law firm who, let us not forget, could replace you with a robot. Or a well-trained monkey."

I rode back up in the elevator. Around floor 14, I thought, "You know, if only I had the gift of foresight, I would have made him a card yesterday, and then I would not be in this predicament."

And then around floor 19, I thought, "Well, maybe I could make him a card now! Like, with scissors, and tape."

And then, as the elevator dinged onto my floor, it was like a lightbulb went off over my head, and I realized the solution to the problem. And that solution was: office supplies. Jackpot!

Twenty minutes of unbillable time later, and after forcing my poor assistant to go on a mad hunt for a glue stick, and then allowing her to help with the assembly because, as she correctly observed, "That looks like more fun than doing work," my masterpiece was finished.

And let me tell you: my office supply card was pretty awesome, if I may say so myself. First, I doodled a picture onto white paper. Then, to maximize the amount of trouble involved, I scanned the picture and emailed it to myself as a jpeg. Which I then opened in Word, and added text, and then printed, and then -- using my trusty glue stick (THANKS, MRS. P!) -- attached to some heavy red paper. Which I folded, and decorated quite prettily with those little white hole reinforcer thingies for "interest." And then, my masterpiece was complete.

Unreasonably proud of myself, I bounced down the hall to the managing partner's office, and knocked on the door. And, as soon as it opened, I did not say, "Happy birthday!" or, "Hey, is this a bad time?" or "Are you on a conference call right now?"

Instead, what I said was:

"HEY I MADE YOU THIS CARD OUT OF STOLEN OFFICE SUPPLIES."

And then, after a pause, I said, "BUT DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY." Because it was at that exact moment when it occurred to me that: oh. Yeah, giving your boss a card made, on company time, from pilfered office goods, is maaaaaaaybe the sort of communication I didn't exactly intend. Specifically, it is a communication that says, "There is no way on heaven or earth that I am spending $2.99 on you. And to emphasize my point, I shall now squander your resources. Happy birthday, dickhead!"

Fortunately for me, mister partner did not get that message at all, and was very touched by my Card Of Master Thievery. He even said it was his best card. (So, you know; top that, Hallmark. "Amazing," my ass.)

For the rest of the day, I remained mildly pleased with myself for my quick thinking. But, I also kept on coming up with other things I should have done; like, ooo! I should have used post-its to make a scalloped border! Or, you know, a highlighter would have added so much. Oh, sad, wasted opportunity!

The more ideas I had, the more entertained I became. And it occurred to me that many people do not like their bosses very much. And maybe, my unintentional message of, "I care about you only in a way that costs you money" was one that other people would like to intentionally convey. Like, on purpose, even.

So, I did what any self-respecting person would do: I stole more office supplies. (Only, not very many, cool bosses! Only a very few office supplies! Nothing significant like a copier or those little triple-A batteries we keep in the downstairs supply room for an unknown reason.)

Here were my materials:

officesupplies.jpg
Listen, mister parole officer, I am pretty sure this does not count as actual stealing. Can we stick with "pilfering"? It sounds so much more ladylike!

(Oh, and not pictured: a few inches worth of those white reinforcement thingies. Assume that they are like vampires and cannot be photographed, and not that I just left them in the other room.)

So tonight, when I should have been doing about sixteen thousand other things, I used those materials -- plus scissors, glue (THANKS AGAIN, MRS. P!), a marker, and wine -- and I created the following cards. All of which you, too, can make at your own office if you find yourself in a crunch, and all of which will send the message of; "Hey, boss. I stole from you, to give to you. It's complicated. Happy birthday, though!"

Y'all, don't you think I should be given my own show on a do-it-yourself network? Or possibly the prison channel? Yes.

Card One: The Hangman Cometh


Outside
bsoutside.jpg

Inside
bsinside.jpg


Pilfered office supplies used: 1 sheet heavy paper; staples (and, actually, they were my own staples. I suck at stealing).


I learned something when I made this card! I learned that it is hard to put staples in a straight line. I also learned that 75% of the letters in "BOSS" are BS. This is funny to me.

Card Two: Fat Ass + Skinny Legs = What We Have Here


Outside

casualoutside.jpg

Inside

casualinside.jpg


Pilfered office supplies used: 2 sheets heavy paper in white and red; rubber bands for legs; round dot things for ugly shirt-making; 2 post-it notes for shorts.


I am strongly in favor of casual Friday. I am not, however, in favor of looking at scary boss knees. Go away, scary boss knees! It is possible that I was once traumatized by this in a previous workplace, but I will not go into the knobby, hairy details of all that I have endured.


Card Three: Cutesy Is Nauseating


Outside

floweroutside.jpg

Inside

flowerinside.jpg


Pilfered office supplies used: 1 sheet heavy paper; post-its for petals; file folder for the center; paper clip for the stem; green page-flags for the leaves; white reinforcer stickers for eyeballs.


I am not really a fan of cute adorableness and things that announce that someone is someone else's sunshine, as it is not my particular cup of tea. Toss in a peptic ulcer, though, and I hop right on board. I'm fickle.


Card Four: Okay, This One Is Actually Kind Of Nice, My Bad.


Outside

dogfront.jpg

Inside

doginside.jpg


Pilfered office supplies used: 1 sheet heavy paper; two paperclips; green page-flags.


Apparently, I can make a dachshund out of anything. I am a woman obsessed. I am also a woman who could not come up with anything snippy for the inside of this card. But, that is okay! Because instead, I am providing an option that is not very evil. Sure, it's still stealing, but it's the happy kind.


Card Five: When You Are Stealing Office Supplies Because You Have A Little Something To Say About Your Paycheck

Outside

cheepoutside.jpg

Inside

cheepinside.jpg


Pilfered office supplies used: 1 sheet heavy paper; file folder for branch; post-it for bird's body; yellow page-flag for tail; white reinforcement sticker for eyeball; white copy paper for talk bubble.


I know the cheep! joke is not exactly new, but I am all about reinventing one's self over here, in the manner of John Travolta. Only with less Scientology.


Card Six: The One You May End Up Having To Use If You Follow My Ill-Advised Lead


Outside

snowmanoutside.jpg

Inside

snowmaninside.jpg


Pilfered office supplies used: 1 sheet heavy paper; white-out for body; paper clips for arms; yellow flag for nose; correction tape for ground; binder clip for hat.


Yeah. Sorry, boss! Clearly I have learned my lesson!

So, that is it! This is what I do with my time. But everyone please ignore the fact that I am a freak; instead, enjoy my freakishness! And of course, feel free to try any of these at home.

But, if you get caught trying to shove a Xerox machine down your trousers, don't go saying you got the idea from me; blame it on a robot instead.

Posted by doxie in Times I Fell Down | permalink

124 Comments

I am floored by your genius and creativity. Those are fantastic!

Posted by: Tory | February 21, 2007 06:51 AM

That's amazing! You're like MacGyver but better, with wine instead of a mullet. (That's supposed to be a complement by the way.)

Posted by: Rustybelle | February 21, 2007 07:22 AM

Thank you for making me laugh out loud minutes before I have to compose a scathing e-mail. I somehow feel that my scath-ynes...s? factor is now severly diminshed. I wish the situation called for a card. (any thoughts on a card for a bi-polar boss?)

Posted by: parp! | February 21, 2007 07:47 AM

Outstanding!
Love the Doxie card and the Cheap, Cheap, boss one too.
I'm alone in my Office today, Hmmmmmmmm what do you think I could make w/ PVC pipe, Duct tape and copper wire???
Better get busy!
Thanks for brightening an otherwise lousy day!

jp

Posted by: Judy | February 21, 2007 07:51 AM

Wow, and I was feeling good about "utilizing" company resources to make sarcastic versions of our org chart (If one more person requests a single, pointless modification...).

Miss Doxie, you delight me.

Posted by: REW | February 21, 2007 07:58 AM

That's awesome! So much better than the meat ear muffs I tryed to pass off to my boss. I would have had better office supplies if I worked in an office and not a meat processing plant.

Crosses off list: learn to knit meat mittens....

Posted by: Mrs.Mga | February 21, 2007 08:08 AM

Puts meat mittens back on list, but use yarn-not meat.

Posted by: Mrs.Mga | February 21, 2007 08:28 AM

Leigh, the more I see of your craftiness, the more I think you utterly missed your calling when you decided to become a lawyer. Your talents are wasted there. Except when you're stealing office supplies.

Posted by: Mir | February 21, 2007 08:49 AM

Dude, you're a freaking genius. Market these immediately.

Posted by: jive turkey | February 21, 2007 08:54 AM

*Now* I know what to get my boss. I usually am in the last rounds of the happy birthday card and you know how difficult it is to jazz up, "Have a happy birthday," after twenty other people wrote the same dang thing?

Posted by: hello insomnia | February 21, 2007 09:10 AM

Absolutely stupendous -- you are most creative - and funny.

Posted by: Scott | February 21, 2007 09:27 AM

You are so creative and funny. I love all the cards - esp. the "no short shorts" one.

Posted by: Steph | February 21, 2007 09:29 AM

WHY are you practicing law instead of pitching all your stuff as a show? I know that chlorofluorocarbons or whatever the hell they are cannot be nearly as entertaining.

Posted by: Anne Glamore | February 21, 2007 09:35 AM

Hi. I just wanted to say that you are my favorite person on the whole internet.

I'm hoping that if I tell you that I have a one-eyed double dapple named Peggy Sue, you will want to be my friend.

Posted by: Elisabeth | February 21, 2007 10:01 AM

Hee! Hee hee hee! I am rather fond of the doxie one (duh) and the hangman one. Hangman = rad birthday card.

And I miiight have to disagree with Rustybelle a little bit there (hi, Rustybelle! Love, Ky) because while you, Miss Doxie, do indeed rock, Macguyver ALSO rocks. He was like, my second celebrity crush, after Larry Bird and before Joey MacIntyre. The mullet is beside the point, really.

Posted by: Ky | February 21, 2007 10:04 AM

I think you found your calling. Screw the lawyer thing, you are a card-making genius!

Posted by: whoorl | February 21, 2007 10:29 AM

Doxie! You have given the whole scrapbooking world something to look up to...I mean, really? What's more impressively creative: going to a store dedicated to selling you stickers & themes & stationary for your cards, etc. OR stealing boring ol' office supplies and making them into fabulous works of art?!?!? I'm guessing you know which one I'd pick.
Good on you and your creative genius!

Posted by: Hillary | February 21, 2007 10:56 AM

That's AWESOME. You are by far, the coolest person I don't know. :)

Posted by: Lani | February 21, 2007 11:02 AM

Utterly fabulous.

Posted by: Sara | February 21, 2007 11:15 AM

Not to be nosy or anything, but does this legal office you spend the day at do actual work-type stuff … you know, the standard litigating, widow-frightening, forum-shopping, ope consilio, joint-and-several liability-type tortfeasor lawyering? ‘Cause if not, there may be no more office supplies to pilfer after the bankruptcy hearing. And unemployment compensation is unlikely to allow you to afford another Viking funeral anytime soon. Also, the post-it notes need to be in brighter colors.

Posted by: Michael | February 21, 2007 11:19 AM

Bowing down in awe of your creativity and crafty-ness.

MISS DOXIE ROCKS!!! MISS DOXIE RULES!!!

Posted by: Martha Jean | February 21, 2007 11:31 AM

!! I love the paperclip doxie! You are awesome.

Posted by: Becca | February 21, 2007 11:34 AM

LOVE IT!

Posted by: Tobie | February 21, 2007 12:07 PM

Crafty!

You are the Martha Stewart of the legal world. I smell an multimedia (Ommimedia!) empire coming...

Posted by: reluctant housewife | February 21, 2007 12:29 PM

Today is my birthday and looking at those cards totally made my day (even though I'm not a boss with chicken legs)! You are too funny for words. I can't imagine what you must say in the court room. Your card-making skills must come in handy while presenting evidence.

Thanks Doxie!

Posted by: Em in Beantown | February 21, 2007 12:29 PM

"(Oh, and not pictured: a few inches worth of those white reinforcement thingies. Assume that they are like vampires and cannot be photographed"

That actually made me snort. It's a good thing I am at home today.

My boss is having his big 4-0 soon. I think I may do a little pilfering myself and make him that hangman card.

Posted by: Julie | February 21, 2007 12:30 PM

Those of us who are not creative and all art-y (i.e. "me") bow down to those who are creative geniuses (i.e. "you"). Even with the materials lists you've so kindly provided, I doubt I could construct anything even half as cool. Sigh.

Posted by: Linda | February 21, 2007 12:43 PM

I am beyond impressed - those are super funny!

Posted by: rosie | February 21, 2007 12:44 PM

Those are hilarious and ingenious! I never could have come up with those. And I thought the "good boss, good boss" was really funny/cute.

You totally should have your own show, maybe a segment on Rachel Ray or something.

Posted by: Chiada | February 21, 2007 12:49 PM

Those are great! I bet Hallmark is beating down your door right this minute.

I only got stuck and stammered once to a boss. He was a doctor and some drug rep had given him this cheap little plant to grow in his office window, all fancy with the drug name on the little plastic pot it was in...whatever...I was in his office doing some filing one afternoon and making smalltalk said "oh your little plant looks like its growing finally." He says "yeah, it looks like pot." I said "I don't know, I've never seen it THAT YOUNG."

"errrr....Now, where IS that lab report I was looking for.....?"

Posted by: Amy | February 21, 2007 01:06 PM

Genius! Sheer GENIUS! I'll be pilfering paperclips tonight to see if I, too, can make a dachshund!!!

Give up the lawyering, dear. You are a multi-media sensation in the making! Truly.

Posted by: Leesavee | February 21, 2007 01:13 PM

Brilliant! You absolutely need your own tv show. The internet is too small to contain your many talents.

Posted by: Catherino | February 21, 2007 01:16 PM

Those are AWESOME.

Posted by: Pickles & Dimes | February 21, 2007 01:31 PM

Those are the coolest cards I've ever seen. Ever.

Posted by: Sandy | February 21, 2007 02:02 PM

Those are pretty damn awesome. If I were artistically talented I'd be all over the "Cheep" one.

Posted by: Jake | February 21, 2007 02:05 PM

Wow! You and the paper clip dachshund so totally rock! I worship at your crafty altar as I bow low while exiting the cyber room backwards....we are not worthy....we are not worthy....

Posted by: Sharon | February 21, 2007 02:30 PM

You are unbelievable! Just when I think there is no way you could be any funnier or more creative, you go and one up yourself. Absolutely hilarious!

Posted by: AJ | February 21, 2007 03:07 PM

Hysterical. You gave me a giggle in the middle of a long day at the office. Hmmm...lot's of supplies around here, too, wonder what I could do with scratch pads and sharpies?

Posted by: Amy | February 21, 2007 03:49 PM

Yes to them all, but particularly the ulcer one. That one made me laugh especially.

Oh, and the BS one. Actually, that was funnier, I think, but I forgot about it because It was first. You should seriously start your own office supply greeting card business. You could be a thousandaire!

Posted by: Taylor | February 21, 2007 03:52 PM

These are just sheer genius! Really, the dachshund one would sell in an upscale card shop. And the shoppers would be all: "How CLEVER that it looks like it's made from office supplies and it's for my BOSS!" and they'd be none the wiser.

Posted by: Liz | February 21, 2007 04:24 PM

Damn my workplace and the horrifying lack of office supplies.

Damn my imagination and it's horrifying shortcomings.

Damn my boss for being a horrifying butthole who does not deserve cards, even if he is paying for them.

Ok, not really horrifying, but certainly irritating. Kind of like cheap wool.

(When will we be able to order office supply cards?)

Posted by: Contrary | February 21, 2007 04:53 PM

If the boss decides to make a scene about the stolen office supplies, you can always retaliate with his having knowingly received stolen property!

Posted by: mackmomma | February 21, 2007 05:07 PM

Oh my - this sounds exactly like what I would do with pilfered office supplies, but mine wouldn't have been as creative. After the day that we all have had here (engineering office), it gives new meeting to "75% of BOSS is BS" which we all found amusing...

Posted by: Angela | February 21, 2007 05:25 PM

You are a brilliant, brilliant woman. You should be putting some of these up on ShopDoxie.
Seriously, you never cease to amaze me with your creativity. So very cool!

Posted by: Heather | February 21, 2007 05:58 PM

This is right up my alley. To me office supplies = crack! I could spend hours making things out of post it's, staples, glue, construction paper, and paper clips! During all the 'Back to School Sales' my hubby has to steer me away from the office supplies sections of stores. I get drawn in. It's almost as bad as my shoe obsession!

Hilarious cards (and also very creative!). I love the doggy one!!!

Posted by: mouse | February 21, 2007 06:17 PM

Opps. I posted to the wrong place...okay, hopefully noone already told you all this...those little white paper hole thingys are really called "paper assholes"....:)

Posted by: Cakes | February 21, 2007 06:52 PM

awesome.

Awesome! You know you're going to have to give up that whole day job thing... well, not until you've stolen enough supplies to make us all cards to buy! : )

Posted by: shy me | February 21, 2007 07:34 PM

I'm self-employed. Maybe I'll steal my own office supplies and make myself a card!

(PS- You are my hero.)

Posted by: Dippy Chick | February 21, 2007 07:45 PM

Aw. When I was at college, I told the secretary of the Econ department that I could never have a regular office job because I would spend all day playing with the office supplies. Would that it were true! Instead I have the dull part of the office job part with very little of the fun part of the office supplies. Mostly because I am nowhere near as pretty-making as you, nice lady!

Posted by: Laurabelle | February 21, 2007 09:26 PM

The thing is, I'm sure you're a fantastic lawyer. But the lawyer jobs should really be reserved for the people like me, who have no other talents and can't do anything else. You, m'dear, need to have your own TV show, magazine, and clothing line, in addition to your fabulous online store.

In short, you rule. I bow before your fabulosity.

Posted by: Lawyerish | February 21, 2007 09:52 PM

Those are awesome. You should go into the greeting card business.

Posted by: liz | February 21, 2007 10:12 PM

Oh damn, it totally is not fair! You are a productive attorney (a career I myself left about 10 years ago) plus you are clever and funny! If I liked girls in "that way" I'd probably say you were unfairly good looking too. Okay, I promise I won't go stick my head in the oven, but that's because it's locked for the cleaning cycle.

Posted by: Cate Ross | February 22, 2007 12:23 AM

I always knew you were a genius woman.. but now you are a FRICKING GENIUS. Seriously.. if Hallmark doesn't call you saying they've invented a new department for you called just that.. I don't know what I will do.

Posted by: Angel | February 22, 2007 02:36 AM

I always knew you were a genius, woman.. but now we know you are a FRICKING GENIUS. If Hallmark doesn't call you up tomorrow and tell you they've started a new department just for you called just that.. I don't know what I will do. How does your brain contain it all?

Posted by: Angel | February 22, 2007 02:44 AM

Those are THE best cards EVER!!! I'm sure my boss will love them, too. I'm SO stealing your ideas!

Posted by: ApparentlyCrazy | February 22, 2007 04:13 AM

You are the internet's craziest and most hilarious genius!

Posted by: Anna | February 22, 2007 07:19 AM

Oh, girlie, I DO believe that you CAN make a dachshund out of anything! I love it!

Posted by: christine | February 22, 2007 08:18 AM

Gosh, if you could just teach me how to make birthday cards with a meatloaf? That would be awesome!

Posted by: Lulu | February 22, 2007 08:54 AM

i've said it before and i'll say it again. you are in the wrong line of work, ms. creative woman!

Posted by: carmen | February 22, 2007 08:55 AM

My you are clever!

Posted by: jamie | February 22, 2007 09:44 AM

Leigh - I especially like the "doxie" card! While I am certain you are a great attorney, unlike most of that genre, you are also creative! But then we already knew that.

And it's so nice that we can expect regular posts from you again! Gives someone like me, toiling in the fields of aircraft transactional law, a bright spot once a week!

Posted by: Gayle Miller | February 22, 2007 09:51 AM

you are so clever! I'm dying here, just cracking up!
almost makes me want to go back to *work* (um, outside the home) so I can acquire some office supplies.
Thanks for the giggles

Posted by: Colleen | February 22, 2007 09:52 AM

OMG, I was so reading about that card where you referenced John Travolta just as he walked out as the guest on Regis and Kelly! It's a sign! Just not sure what kind.

Posted by: Gail S | February 22, 2007 10:31 AM

Those cards absolutely rock! Thanks for cheering me up on a lousy day.

Posted by: Diane | February 22, 2007 10:36 AM

It is hilarious to me that you - owner of online card and craft store - did not have any premade cards on hand. Is that irony or is that Alanis irony?

When you told me that you made cards for your boss out of office supplies, I pictured a Post-it on some note paper. When will I learn?

Posted by: Hannah Beth | February 22, 2007 11:08 AM

Miss Doxie,
You so need to sell those cards in your on-line store. People will buy them. I'm quite serious!

Fantastic, as always. :-)

Posted by: Cat | February 22, 2007 12:27 PM

Oh my word. Not having a creative bone in my body, I am quite jealous of your fabulous cards!!

Posted by: Kristin | February 22, 2007 12:30 PM

You are unstoppable with the artistic creativeness! Are you sure you're an attorney? :-)

I 2nd the suggestion of selling these in your online store - or maybe on Etsy.com. Have you heard of Etsy? People (me included) would totally buy your cards!

Posted by: Katie | February 22, 2007 02:05 PM

Now THAT was impressive!!

Posted by: Meg | February 22, 2007 03:19 PM

Brilliant! I love office supplies almost as much as I love wasting time at work. Now I can achieve greatness.

Posted by: Sugar Kane | February 22, 2007 04:22 PM

Those are insanely good-looking. I love the fonts you went with.

Posted by: Fraulein N | February 22, 2007 06:27 PM

You are a genius! Brilliant cards, and I love how you made them with office supplies! Smashing idea!

Posted by: Tink | February 22, 2007 08:36 PM

I so heart you, Leigh. You are magnificent! Don't ever lose your love for life and sense of humor. Age ain't nuttin' but a number.

Posted by: Jessica | February 22, 2007 11:49 PM

Those cards are AMAZING! Great job! I wish I could buy the hangman one. Sell 'em on your site! :)

Posted by: Anna | February 23, 2007 07:41 AM

Yes! Yes! Sell the doxie one on your website!!!!

Posted by: Heather | February 23, 2007 09:43 AM

Those are great! I am the master of making birthday cards to mail out to friends using office supplies and sharpie's, I like homemade cards so much more - your are hilarious!

Posted by: Catherine | February 23, 2007 10:26 AM

Ms. D -

Will you for cryin' out loud get thee to www.lulu.com or one of the other self-publishing houses, publish a guide on doing crafty stuff like this (and maybe also that children's book you keep talking about writing), and sell them on ShopDoxie? The world is waiting, and you just go blithely along, practicing law. The nerve.

Posted by: Cobwebs | February 23, 2007 10:45 AM

How do you find time to work and blog? wow.

J. Kaiser

Posted by: John Kaiser | February 23, 2007 11:15 AM

Once again, you demonstrate how much more you are than an attorney. I'm with Elisabeth "...you are my favorite person on the whole internet."

You really could make a good living just being yourself. MTV reality show - "Life with Miss Doxie" or "Miss Doxie Bites" or "How the Doxie Does It"

Obvious Emmy material.

Posted by: Matt | February 23, 2007 12:19 PM

Just imagine what you could do with an entire greeting card line! You could be the anti-Hallmark Hallmark! Hilarious stuff. I'll be giggling in my sleep.

Posted by: Fairly Odd Mother | February 23, 2007 08:57 PM

As a 2nd year law student, I love your blog. I also love the fact that you give me hope that becoming an attorney will not necessarily suck the fun out of me. Perhaps this summer I will get to make crafty cards out of pilfered office supplies!

Thank you for making my day brighter!

Posted by: Sarah B. | February 23, 2007 10:07 PM

Okay, you know you are missing out on millions of dollars here?? You seriously need to put your creativity to work for you. For reals. There is such a demand for cards like that...

Posted by: Zelda | February 24, 2007 10:21 AM

We used to do similar things when I worked at an Architectural/Engineering firm. One of my fondest memories was the day we created "personalized" going away bolo ties for a co-worker!

Imagination+glue=too cool!

Posted by: Mit_Moi | February 24, 2007 02:06 PM

Awesome. 'Nough said.

Posted by: khazzy | February 24, 2007 03:26 PM

I almost pittled my pants on that one!

Posted by: Amie | February 24, 2007 04:23 PM

Those cards by far are way better than anything hallmark comes up with (especially the dachshund one). How did you make the dog out of only 2 paperclips though?

Posted by: Christy | February 24, 2007 06:46 PM

You are one of my favorite internet people ever...found you through a doxie group a long time ago, and still can't get enough of you:) Thank you for sharing yourself out here for all of us to enjoy (and lust after, in certian circles, lol).

Posted by: Cori | February 24, 2007 09:19 PM

Unfortunately, there are no office supplies to pilfer in my pizza parlour, but that hasn't stopped me before. Those cards are AWESOME! I'm making my own right now for Christmas next year, haha! I'm totally stealing your ideas the way you "stole" those office supplies.

Posted by: Davey Cole | February 25, 2007 10:56 AM

Aaaaaand Miss Doxie wins the internet once again. So talented. So pretty. So smart. Why do we all not hate you? I think you may have magical powers.

Posted by: missbanshee | February 25, 2007 11:46 AM

It's not really stealing...it's really TEAM BUILDING. :) That's the excuse I use when working diligently on company time for a good purpose. Like the boss' birthday. Or a baby shower. Those hole punch remains make great confetti.

Posted by: Megan | February 25, 2007 05:09 PM

Ha! Brilliant! If I had an office to steal supplies from, a boss or, come to think of it, a job, I would definitely set about reconstructing all of those cards.

Posted by: Léonie | February 25, 2007 06:17 PM

I did not know they still made those hole punch reinforcer things.

Posted by: Uli | February 26, 2007 12:59 AM

omg, darling you are BEYOND creative. you should actually sell these!

Posted by: elizabeth | February 26, 2007 03:15 AM

If I was an executive at Hallmark, I'd be falling all over myself trying to get you on board my team.

Posted by: Kimberly | February 26, 2007 01:08 PM

Oh, Leigh...you really must start a second career as a stationer or card designer or stand up comic.

Oh, and if you go with the stationer thing, Lucy & I'd like to see something with an all black Doxie on it somewhere. hee hee.

Keep us laughing, please!

Posted by: Melissa O in NYC | February 26, 2007 09:47 PM

A papercrafts genius! And ever so economical (from the giver's viewpoint, not from the viewpoint of your firm's office supply budget). But seriously, Miss Doxie, no matter how hard I try or how hard my firm co-workers try, we cannot get a dachshund from only 2 paperclips. It really takes 3, doesn't it? Should we use large? Small? A small/large combo? And fill us in on your special clip-bending technique. So little time, so many paperclips to be turned into little weiner dogs...a tutorial would be most helpful. And, this could be great looonnnggg meeting entertainment.

Posted by: Kris | February 27, 2007 01:48 PM

Ooo! I lied! It IS three paperclips. I just checked -- one for the head, and two for the body. Sorry that I am a hideous spreader of misinformation!

Posted by: Miss Doxie | February 27, 2007 03:14 PM

Oh wow, I so needed a laugh today - those were fantastic!

Posted by: theotherbear | February 27, 2007 09:11 PM

Coyright these now before we all steal your ideas and look good, while you earn nothing! (The real way, not like when I was I kid and I used to draw the trademark Hallmak crown on the back of my homemade cards.)

Seriously, you should sell these. Though, if you do them in volume, maybe spring for your own office supplies.

Posted by: julie | February 28, 2007 01:45 PM

You amaze me how you can be so creative in a flash, in an urgent matter, in a stressful situation.

Posted by: Shari | February 28, 2007 04:54 PM

Every one made me giggle. And, as I was scrolling down, I couldn't wait for the next one. Thanks for your creativity.

Posted by: Paula | February 28, 2007 05:41 PM

Someone forwarded me this today. Thanks for the great laugh! I also loved the title to be mi favorite Jane's Addiction song :)
You might have a future in greeting cards! At least your start up costs will be low ;-)

Posted by: b | February 28, 2007 05:53 PM

These are hilarious!!! They're just as good as Jack Handey! Heck! They're even better!

Posted by: Leslie | February 28, 2007 09:49 PM

Sweetie, you've been sniffing toner again. LOVE the doggie. AWESOME.

Posted by: justJENN | March 1, 2007 12:48 AM

You could hire me to make your cards. I live in Conyers. I work cheap (or "cheep," whichever you prefer) and I need a day job.

Posted by: NikNik | March 1, 2007 12:35 PM

Wow.... Love the blog!

Posted by: Mike | March 1, 2007 07:50 PM

you are totally the MacGyver of Craft!
if you are that crafty with pilfered office supplies, then yes you do indeed need your own TV show!
(the dog was my very favorite)

Posted by: daisycake | March 1, 2007 11:13 PM

I MUST have these cards!

YOU must market / sell these to the general public... like NOW!

Miss Dixie... AMAZING!

Posted by: meleahrebeccah | March 2, 2007 12:47 PM

I MUST have these cards!

YOU must market / sell these to the general public... like NOW!

Miss Doxie... AMAZING!

Posted by: meleahrebeccah | March 2, 2007 12:47 PM

Holy crap that cracks me up! Who knew you could make a dachshund out of paperclips? Too cute. And you're assistant was totally right.. that DOES sound like way more fun than doing actual work! (Kind of like the part where I'm reading blogs right now..)

Posted by: Erin | March 2, 2007 03:30 PM

These are SO GOOD.

Posted by: Tasterspoon | March 2, 2007 07:34 PM

Blank! Blank page of sadness and woe! WOE!!!

Posted by: missbanshee | March 3, 2007 11:28 AM

OH TOO FUNNY... they are brilliant!!!
Where can I buy me some of them cards?
You are totally talented!
Cheers for givin' my ribs a good work out..

Posted by: Anita Grant | March 3, 2007 11:46 AM

Totally marketable, for real. Thank you for the good laugh. I am in awe over the dachshund!

Posted by: Sassafrassa | March 4, 2007 06:49 PM

Hey, on a different note...please keep us updated on Spam Babyburner's law school admittance process! We're pulling for you, Spam!

Posted by: Leesavee | March 5, 2007 11:33 AM

Hey, on a different note...please keep us updated on Spam Babyburner's law school admittance process! We're pulling for you, Spam!

Posted by: Leesavee | March 5, 2007 11:33 AM

those cards are FREAKIN' AWESOME!

Posted by: miss petite america | March 6, 2007 10:36 AM

Happy Birthday Leigh! {I only remembered that, because mine is tomorrow haha!}
Hope you have a GREAT day! :)

Posted by: jamie | March 6, 2007 03:38 PM

Oh, you are very clever!

Posted by: hongcgi | March 8, 2007 02:57 AM

You are our new favorite funny on the web...
So many things to laugh about and relate too
We have an insane micro-weiner dog plus I am originally from "Jaw-ja"...so I so get the whole y'all thing, Love it!!..Keep it up and we'll drop in often!

Go Dawgs!

Posted by: Ms Weiner | March 11, 2007 10:00 PM

Love them!
You're so creative!!

Posted by: Lainey-Paney | March 12, 2007 01:52 PM

My GOD! Ur amazing with craft! I love the daschund card! LoL!

Posted by: sheepie | March 13, 2007 11:21 PM

Okay, when I was 29 I was answering phones in an accounting firm, and rushing to the lobby to do shots in the bar of the building. Could the latter have anything to do with the former?

Also, now I am 41 and should have that craft gene all set. I do not. Never in a million years could I create a dog from paper clips.

This is my first time reading your blog and I already feel inadequate! Which means I will keep reding, of course...

Posted by: June Cutoff Cash | March 22, 2007 08:27 AM

Oh my god. So funny! Do you do wedding invitations??

Posted by: ethernaut | April 25, 2007 10:28 PM

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