It's Friday Night! Do you know where your Viking Baby is?
So, what I was going to do, was that I was going to write a long entry about our New Year's Eve celebration. I was going to explain, in significant detail, how we ended up inadvertently littering, and how we failed to give a hoot on that occasion, and how we proceeded to break (a) laws, (b) moral codes, and (c) our mothers' hearts, all in the course of approximately six minutes, and how that pretty much rocked in a very rocking fashion. And I was also going to describe all of the people present, and I was going to tell backstories, and I was going to do these things in an attempt to make some SENSE of why nine fully grown adults decided to spend their New Year's Eve staging a Viking Funeral for a small, pink babydoll. I was going to try to explain all of that, but know what? I am beginning to think that I should just let the video speak for itself. And, using my magical powers, I have even added captions to the video. So now, in addition to speaking for itself, the video practically reads to you! Like Mom does!
Anyway. In case you are still stuck up there in paragraph one, sounding out the part where I mention the phrase "Viking Funeral" in conjunction with "small pink babydoll", let me tell you now: I know. Listen, I cannot help you make sense of this. The best I can tell you is that our lovely friend Spam -- who is the same person who set up the Trap For Vermin last year -- decided that this year, we would say goodbye to 2006 in a nontraditional manner, namely, by:
1. Purchasing a little pink babydoll;
2. Writing "2006" all over the little pink babydoll in colorful marker;
3. Packing babydoll in a styrofoam cooler;
4. Placing an atlas in the cooler with the babydoll ("It represents the weight of the world," Spam explained to us, clearly exasperated by our lack of vision);
5. Duct-taping beer bottles to the side of the cooler for buoyancy (who among us guessed that this was Dukay's idea? Yes);
6. Packing the entire cooler with explosives;
7. Dousing the cooler with LIGHTER FLUID;
8. Releasing little 2006 off the end of my parents' dock, while simultaneously setting her aflame; and
9. Watching 2006 blow the HELL up, and float, burning, into the night. Like our Viking forefathers probably did NOT do, but we are not here to pick apart history, people. That is what National Geographic does. We just blow shit up sometimes.
In case you need some clarification of the items described above, allow me to illustrate my points by showing you:
1. Babydoll (Doomed)
2. Shit Blowing Up
3. What Bo's Ears Were Up To Before The Explosion
4. What Bo's Ears Did When The Explosion Happened
So! Now that you have a sufficient background, and because today is a truly disgusting, nasty, gray day here in Atlanta, and because I am in no fucking mood to spend one more second doing any of the ten trillion things I need to be doing, I hereby share with you our New Year's Eve video. But, wait, I am lying, because first! Please bear in mind two things before you view it, which are INCREDIBLY SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS:
1. People, this video is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Not because we are all running around all buckassed naked (possibly we are!), but rather, because there is a lot of profanity involved. That profanity is screamy. Seriously, you need sound to appreciate this video, but you will appreciate yourself all the way down to the unemployment line if you try watching it in a typical office, so do so where you can turn up the volume and truly embrace the fascination that was Viking Funeral.
2. It's a windows media file, because that is just about all I am capable of in my life. Any other type of conversion will make me whimper, and this is not what you want, I do not think. If you cannot see it, I guess you will have to just hit me with something heavy. Like a Viking.
So! All that being said, please enjoy:
...and its drunk cousin, the Flickr Photoset.
Y'all have a good day, and try not to set anything on fire. Especially if it is a Viking.