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Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.

December 14, 2006

Thank you all so very much for all of your kind comments, e-mails, messages, cards, calls, and everything else I've received over the last several days. I have read and appreciated every message, and I am just overwhelmed by the many people who have taken the time to send a little bit of love and comfort our way. It really has meant more to us that you know, and I have been so touched by your generosity. And, for everyone else who wrote to me about losing their own pets, or who is going through their own tragedy, my sympathy is with you, and I hope you are surrounded by people who are as wonderful as all of y'all are.

I've been okay. It was, of course, hardest in the beginning; on Sunday, I would randomly transform into a screaming M'Lynn from Steel Magnolias, grabbing whomever happened to be nearby, and screaming, "I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my dog can't! She never could! I'm so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" etc., ad nauseum.

I also succeeded in essentially locking my own self out of this website for a few days; even though I knew everyone was leaving nice comments, and I wanted to read those nice comments, I would come over and see the "Goodbye, Girl," and break the hell down. It was one of the last things I ever said to Tasha, and reading those words up there just killed me all anew. In retrospect, I should have named the entry something with less locking-Leigh-out capability, such as "There is a lot of wine in the refrigerator right now." That is the sort of thing I should be keeping in mind. Think positive!

I have realized that the fact that Tasha's death was so sudden is both a curse and a blessing. From my own perspective, it was horrible. I am still reeling from the idea that she really, really didn't make it. I think it truly sunk in yesterday, when the pet mortuary (yes) called me to finalize her "arrangements," and to see if I'd picked out an urn. That was stark and real and awful, and I think the weight of the thing hit me then. But Tasha's death was just so wholly unexpected, and so totally out of the blue; on Saturday morning, I had four dogs. By the time the sun went down, my little girl was gone, and I was left with three. I didn't see it coming, and it took my breath away.

But, on the other hand, I am so very, very thankful that Tasha did not suffer. On Friday, she was seemingly healthy; she ate her food, she sniffed the bushes outside, and she watched television on the couch, curled up next to me while I packaged up some orders. I was eating potato chips, and every time I dropped one, she'd spelunk into the depths of the couch to retrieve it. She seemed fine, and I don't think she was in pain.

Hell, even on the day she died, she didn't seem that sick until the very end; we decided to take her to the vet as a precaution. Her cough sounded a little different; she seemed to be wheezing, and she was holding her head in an odd way. Little things -- and things that are not unheard of in a dog with asthma -- but enough to convince me that we needed to take her in. Within several hours, she did not have the strength to lift her head. Shortly after that, her little heart just stopped beating. And though the doctors were able to revive her, the lack of oxygen to her brain had resulted in severe brain damage. Looking into Tasha's eyes, I could tell that she was already gone, and so we did what had to be done.

Putting Tasha to sleep was probably the hardest thing I have had to do. And I hate that her illness and death happened so quickly, but at the same time, I am so glad that it happened so quickly. Tasha did not suffer for long. She did not have to endure lengthy treatments, and she never had to spend the night alone and scared at the animal hospital. Even though it was harder on us to have her taken so quickly, it was much easier on her, and she was the one who mattered. She gave me seven wonderful years, and I am thankful for every second.

But, it's still hard. Because I apparently enjoy torturing myself, I cannot stop going over the past few days in my mind, trying to remember something I'd overlooked, a sign that she was sick, and that she needed my help. For the first few days, I was convinced that if I'd only done something differently, that would have saved her, and that Tasha's death was all my fault. But I am slowly beginning to realize -- having spoken to the veterinarian who cared for her on the day she died, and her regular veterinarian -- that there was really nothing I could have done. On Saturday, as I cried over my little girl, the vet put her hand on my back and said, "She didn't tell you. You couldn't know, if she didn't tell you." And logically, I am beginning to see how that's right. But it does not stop me from wondering.

And, it sure as fuck has not stopped me from one bit of the insanity I have now developed for the other dogs. I am convinced that they are all about to up and die from Mad Cow disease, malaria, rickets, ebola, or any flavor of other obscure disease, and I have analyzed every cough, sneeze, growl, bark, and whimper until I am about to drive them all insane. Seriously, they are about to rise up and KILL me. I can't stop picking them up, poking all over their little mad, brown bodies, checking their gums for color and their little noses for cold-and-wet, before depositing them hesitantly on the floor again. Now, when they see me coming, they scatter like cockroaches, screaming, "FOR LOVE OF GOD DOGS ARE FINE! STOP POKE! STOP POKE US!"

But don't worry -- they are not completely miserable, because I am also spoiling the holy fuck out of them all. This is arguably a Bad Thing, but I don't remotely care. On the night Tasha died, my family went into full-on-crisis mode; mom and dad went to the store and purchased me ice cream, potato chips, frozen pizzas, and five bottles of wine. I also sent Dukay shopping, with explicit instructions to bring back every single dog treat and bone available in the metro area. Which he did, and the remaining three dogs have lived in an orgasmic, bone-chewing land since Saturday. And their enviable position has become even more enviable when you also take into account the new dog bed I have purchased them, as well as the new faux-fur blanket they have received in order to maximize their snoogly comfort on the sofa. The remaining dogs cannot believe their good luck. They love this whole mourning/death thing! Someone should die DAILY! And if the treats start to subside, they'll just shoot Pugsley, and then helloooooo, bacon!

So, the dogs are fine. They're fucking GREAT. And I am getting better. As many of y'all know, it's just hard to lose a pet. But I am trying to keep my perspective -- I still have my awesome parents, wonderful sister, cute-bottomed boyfriend, and three really bad, rapidly-getting-fatter doxies. My family is healthy and whole. In the grand scheme of things, I know that this is a little tragedy, and I am incredibly lucky.

But, as it turns out, I am even luckier than I thought. When Tasha died, one of the things that made me the most upset was just how pointless it was. I mean, no, the death of a pet doesn't often have a purpose, and it's not like most dachshunds are out there dying for their country or in protest of our environmental policies or things like that, but still. There wasn't any "why" to the whole nastiness, and there was no way that it could be turned into something positive. You know? Like, if your dog dies of some odd disease that has symptoms X, Y, and Z, you can tell people to watch out for those symptoms, and maybe other dogs will be saved. With Tasha, I can't do that. I can't tell people how to prevent their own dogs from dying, and that only made things seem even more awful.

But, as I said, it turns out that I am incredibly lucky. Because, several days ago, a missdoxie.com reader donated $5,000 to Dachshund Rescue in memory of Tasha. And immediately after that, DRNA sent me a list of other donations y'all have made in memory of my girl. I read all of this, and I burst into tears. Because now, Tasha's death will have a silver lining, and other doggies will be helped because of her. It's the only thing that makes any of this okay.

So when I start missing my girl, and when I first wake up in the morning and remember that she is gone, this is what I think about: I think about how, somewhere out there, is a dachshund who has lived a shitty life. But now, thanks to several wonderful people, and in honor of my little Tasha, that little guy is going to be saved, and he is going to get to live in a home with people who wil love him, and give him bacon, and scratch him in just the right place behind his little ears. He's going to have a chance to be happy, and Tasha played a part in giving him that chance. Knowing that makes everything so much better. It doesn't quite answer the "whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" question that the M'Lynn in me keeps screaming, but it helps a lot. And then, as M'Lynn would also say, life goes on. And sure enough, it does.

So, thank you so much to everyone. I will be back soon with tales of the three bad dogs (I am officially the only female in the household now; ergo, I am totally fucked), Christmas shopping, and my white-hot hatred for that song about the fucking Christmas shoes (which makes me scream "HURRY UP AND DIE, WOMAN!" at the radio every time it comes on). But I wanted to close this chapter first, to say goodbye to our little lady, and to tell all of you how much I appreciated your support and your generosity. And of course, I also want to encourage all of y'all to give to DRNA this holiday (or really, to any other animal rescue organization you like), in honor of any four-legged creature that has touched your life. Even if the donation is small, it still makes a huge difference for everyone. I know what a huge difference it made for me.

Thank you all, for all of your support, and kindness, and sympathy. You're all wonderful, and I love you more than my luggage.

Posted by doxie in The Dogs (Or, Poop) | permalink


Seriously? I'm the first? Wow.

Leigh, you slayed me with your Christmas shoes comment. I am so with you there. That song makes me want to poke my eardrums out with something sharp and pointy.

I am so glad to hear that people have been donating in Tasha's name. What a blessing.

Posted by: erin | December 14, 2006 04:50 PM


Hugs and love to Tasha. And Miss Doxie.

Posted by: Krista | December 14, 2006 04:56 PM

Amen on hating that damn song! Could we get any more schmaltzy ?
I'm spoiling my pups as well and wishing yours the best.

Posted by: Barbi | December 14, 2006 04:57 PM

I went through the same thing when the oldest of my two cats had to be put to sleep this year (on Sept 11th, no less.. yeah, that was a shitty day of sadness). Spice was old (13) but he had otherwise seemed healthy. One day he was fine and normal, and then all of a sudden he had zero bladder control and was ill and his time had come. I spent days (and weeks) beating myself up for every tiny little thing I had overlooked about him, wondering if it would have made any difference. But, I felt better knowing that he did not have to go through the move from one apartment to the other (which was to take place the week after he died), so he didn't spend his last days all stressed out trying to figure out a new place, nor were his last days filled with an abundance of vet trips or anything.

And my remaining cat (Rizzo) also got incredibly spoiled (lots of treats! brand new toys! not getting yelled at for dragging all of mom's pens and pencils off of the desk in the office!) and I worried over every single little thing in case it meant he was goig to drop dead. Right there. At that very second. ("OhmyGod he sneezed! Why is he sneezing?! Is there a Cat Sneezing Disease that is fatal?!")

... And that Christmas Shoe song needs to be burned. Cute song the first time, but the radio station playing it in nearly every set of songs has built up my hatred of it.

Glad to hear about the donations people have been making!

Posted by: Audrey | December 14, 2006 05:06 PM

OH MY GOD I HATE THAT SONG. The kid's mother is dying - in fact, she's getting ready to MEET JESUS THAT NIGHT - and he's at the damn MALL?!?!

Anyway, I'm glad you were able to pick out the silver lining in all this sadness.

Posted by: jive turkey | December 14, 2006 05:08 PM

Oh, so glad to hear how you're doing. And the donations to DRNA - aren't there just a bunch o' wonderful people in the world?

When I adopted Punkin, I bought her a beautiful doggy bed and blankie and pictured her relaxing in front of the fireplace like a little princess. So far, Albert the Wonderpug has decided it is a perfect chew toy and Punkin will sit only in my lap. But life is good.

Posted by: janeygirl | December 14, 2006 05:11 PM

I didn't leave a comment before, but I want to say that I'm sorry you're going through The Suck. But hey, at least there is plenty of wine. And, I hate that song, too -- nearly to the point of doing violence.

Posted by: Emily | December 14, 2006 05:24 PM

I have emailed you three times now! I'm glad you're getting a hold on your anguish and please let me know if I can do anything. The donations to the drna are wonderful!

Posted by: Boomer | December 14, 2006 05:24 PM

Well, I got busy and didn't check in for a few days and wow. I am so sorry. I could relate my own stories of the doxie I grew up w/and pet loss, but after over 500 comments I'm sure you've heard it. Even in your sadness you made me laugh & I'm glad that something positive it coming out of this from all those donations.

Give your babies hugs & be thankful for the short time we have w/them. I'm going to go home and do just that tonight. (But they still won't get to sleep in bed with us ;-)

Posted by: mama speak | December 14, 2006 05:36 PM

I got chill when I read about the donations to DRNA. I can only imagine how those must have made you feel. Keep your chin up.

Posted by: Laurie | December 14, 2006 05:38 PM

HI Leigh
I couldn't comment before because of the crying and not being able to see the monitor...so i will comment now by giving you a big puppy breath smelling hug and say how glad I am that you are "ok" and hanging in there.

Posted by: Scottsdale Girl | December 14, 2006 05:38 PM

...speaking of donations, my parents want me to let you know that if you want a slightly used black and tan doxie (who anwsers to "Ike" "Here, Weiner, Weiner" and "Hey SHIThead!" or any name you want, he won't actually listen) they are more than willing to wrap him up in duct tape (safe! shiny!) and send him on to Atlanta post haste.
Anyway, I'm very glad to know you're doing ok.

p.s. I have NO idea what song you lot are talking about, but it must be better that way...

Posted by: parp! | December 14, 2006 05:45 PM

I was reading along, totally impressed by your ability to be entertaining about something so very sad, and then I got to the bit about the donations to DRNA and I got all weepy.

People are good. It's nice to remember Tasha and Miss Doxie by doing good things. That's all.

(Oh, except that I too HATE that fucking song about the shoes. I love shoes, but COME ON already. Sheesh.)

Posted by: Susan | December 14, 2006 05:47 PM

People occasionally rock. And I have never heard the shoe song of which you speak, perhaps it is a Southern Thang? But now I am curious and am going to go look the damn thing up.

Posted by: Trance | December 14, 2006 05:53 PM

OMG...that is the WORST song ever...it makes me positively Grinchy every time I hear it...makes me want to steal presents from Cindy Lou Who...

Tasha is serving as a guardian angel to little weiner dogs all over the place through the work of DRNA...what a wonderful legacy for her to leave. She was one lucky doggie to have you as her mommy, Leigh.

Posted by: Leesavee | December 14, 2006 05:54 PM

I'm glad to hear you've found a bit of peace in Tasha's death. I've been praying for you regularly and been kissing my kitties even more, if that's possible.

Posted by: Stefanie | December 14, 2006 05:57 PM

"The remaining dogs cannot believe their good luck. They love this whole mourning/death thing! Someone should die DAILY! And if the treats start to subside, they'll just shoot Pugsley, and then helloooooo, bacon!"

That? Had me literally crying and laughing at the same time. And I'm not one of those people who doesn't know the difference between literally and figuratively. You'll never hear me say something like, "I literally worked a billion hours this week.".

Laughing and crying. As mixed emotions go, it's not bad.

"I am officially the only female in the household now; ergo, I am totally fucked."

Does this mean you're now the go-to girl when Dukay says 'Show us your tits'?

Also; "I love you more than my luggage."

Ditto. Which is a lot more touching and shit if I don't tell you exactly what kind of 'luggage' I have. So, we'll just keep it at Ditto.

Posted by: Contrary | December 14, 2006 06:01 PM

You have made me so eager to own my own little Doxie one day (when I am not living under Jerk Landlord who says No Pets Allowed).

Bless you for making light of this, and as always, making me laugh, though the story's sad.

Posted by: Maria | December 14, 2006 06:01 PM

We had to put our poodle down in August this year. He too was fine, then all of a sudden he couldn't keep anything down and he just deteriorated very rapidly. It was so hard saying good-bye to my poor little poochie. I still tear up.

Posted by: Sandra | December 14, 2006 06:05 PM

Oh Leigh, you just perfectly described the series of emotions that we all went through last month when my mom's lovely dog, Bella, was hit and killed in front of my mom and brother (and the cable guys who left the gate open).
You are a genius writer and should be hailed for sharing so many personal moments with the world.
I remember getting the call from my brother about Bella (who my husband and I had just decided we needed to adopt b/c she kept our doxies in check) and him just sobbing and me going over there. I've never seen my mom cry harder. And then I helped take Bella to the vet for them to cremate her. And she didn't look like she should be dead. And I kept trying to think of a reason this had happened. And every day I woke up and had to remind myself of what happened. And every day my own doxies got a little bit fatter, sassier and happier b/c I spoiled the holy living hell out of them. I had to! The fear that assualted me about losing them was ridiculous!
Thanks, again, for writing to us out here in cyber space. This entry made me cry just like your last two.
Merry Christmas to you and yours-
Hillary in Montana

Posted by: Hillary | December 14, 2006 06:11 PM

I'm so glad you're doing better! I feel a little guilty about how hard I laughed about the other dogs shooting Pugsley, but I just couldn't help it. Watch your back Pugsley!!

Posted by: catherino | December 14, 2006 06:27 PM

Happily I have NO IDEA what song you're talking about, but I feel duly warned and shall remain glued to my iPod and NPR.

Also happily, PEOPLE ARE AMAZING and that makes me happiest of all. It is beautiful beyond words that everyone donated in Tasha's name...and someone donated $5,000?! Wow. I am a firm believer that we can, as individuals, make a difference in this world and this is yet another example proving me right. :)

Blessings of love and light your way.

Posted by: ubergirlelijah | December 14, 2006 06:55 PM

I am so glad that you seem to be hanging in there. The donations for the weiners in need made me smile. There are some wonderful people in the world; that confirms it. My fat lazy dogs are getting a bit of spoiling themselves in memory of Tasha. Canned dog food, extra bones and colorful collars all around.

Posted by: Julie | December 14, 2006 06:57 PM

I very recently discovered Miss Doxie. A friend of mine linked to you in a post about how her faith in humanity and the Internet had been restored by the support you got through comments.

I just wanted to let you know that you made me cry in a good way with:

"in honor of my little Tasha, that little guy is going to be saved, and he is going to get to live in a home with people who will love him, and give him bacon, and scratch him in just the right place behind his little ears. He's going to have a chance to be happy, and Tasha played a part in giving him that chance."

Actually, you've made me cry multiple times now that I've proofread my comment.

Posted by: corley | December 14, 2006 06:57 PM

Glad to hear you are feeling better and the other 3 lil wonders are being spoiled. Gaby has had a few extra treats this week and her nickname has changed from "gaby the mental" to "she whose belly drags the ground."

And I really think those shoes are the last thing that women needs right now.... LOL

Posted by: Tami | December 14, 2006 07:17 PM

Leigh, what you're going through and what you are feeling right now and possibly beyond is perfectly normal. If you feel the need to scream, cry, write or indulge in cookies, by all means do so.

There is no laws written about how a person is supposed to grieve. Everybody grieves differently.

People that don't own pets or are not animal lovers in general think grieving over a lost pet is stilly, however, us animal lovers ( myself included) know otherwise. Pets become part of the family whether they have fur, feathers, scales or shells. I'm a maid to 12 critters myself and they all mean just as much to me as the next.

Please don't listen to the nay-sayers or those that might tell you that you "need to get over" your grief. Punch them in the mouth if they are rude about as they would deserve it.

I'll re-enforce what your vet has told you... you did what you could, so please don't beat yourself up or torture yourself too much. You're an awesome pet owner! You saw something wasn't right and did the right thing immediately. If all pet owners were that aware of their animals daily routine, there wouldn't be any stories of pets suffering from anything.

There's strength in numbers, so when you're not feeling so strong, take the strength from the all the people that have offered their support here and beyond.

Take all the time you need. I think everybody that visits here can keep themseleves amused for the time being.

Posted by: Stacy | December 14, 2006 07:27 PM

I will spoil my dogs too...in memory of Tasha.

Posted by: Zoot | December 14, 2006 07:41 PM

Aw Miss Doxie.

It just so happens that my big present that I am giving this year is to an animal sanctuary in montana that cares for disabled animals. they have TONS of Dachshunds!!! (www.rollingdogranch.org and click on the link to their blog)

My husband and I don't have much dammit, but it feels good to give whatever I can to the little animals out there that enrich peoples lives.

Posted by: Alicat | December 14, 2006 07:58 PM

My 11 year old donates some of her Christmas money every year to rescue organizations. I think this year it might be the Doxie Rescue. Hang in there!

Also -have heard of the song, but never heard it. My most hated holiday song is "Do they know its Christmas After All?" Hate. No matter how hot Bono is.

Posted by: Laura | December 14, 2006 08:05 PM

ok, i stop reading for a week and what the hell happened?! i am so so so sorry, miss doxie. you (and especially the dogs) have made me laugh so hard-- and i am now so sad for all of you (sobbing, in fact, if you must know). all i can say is that your little tasha is up there playing with my little girls and i know they'll be extra nice to her and show her around. :)

hugs to you and extra love to the three boys. i'm thinking of you and i know you'll get through it. (also? one word: PUPPY. you know, to balance out the boy factor!)

Posted by: aly | December 14, 2006 09:05 PM

I cried like a bebe reading this post. It's so wonderful that you and Tasha have inspired such goodwill in so many people!

Posted by: fw sunshine | December 14, 2006 09:10 PM

All I have to say after reading this lovely, funny post is: Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.

Posted by: Kate | December 14, 2006 09:15 PM

Aw, that was beautiful of them to give in honour of Tasha. Much thanks to them.
Am poor, but I shall send all my love to your doxies and a cyber hug for you. And much sympthy to your being the only lady in the house...in this house, the dog's the only male amisdt four women.

Posted by: Heather | December 14, 2006 09:17 PM

HarryCat (He is Siamese If You Please) would like to send many many kisses to Miss Doxie and Mr. Dukay and lots of butt-whoopins and some kisses to the bad bad dawgs. Because you deserve them (kisses) and they need them (butt-whoopins). (He presumes the worst about wieners because we have a neighbor wiener who is Harry's Evil Nemesis and his Arch Enemy. Literally. Have you ever seen a wiener arch? He does. Wait, that sounds really really ugly. NEVER MIND. Strike it from your brain. Anyway.)

HarryCat would also like to say that he is going to give his money from Santa this year to our local spay-neuter clinic in honor of Miss Tasha the Brave. Because she was a good dog, and she couldn't have lived in the house with all those bad boys unless she'd been spayed. So. Now one more Good Dog can have a long happy life, even if she does have to live in a House of Boys and show people her boobies on command.

P.S. -- HarryCat just informed me that anybody who ever asks to see his boobies will be summarily blinded with one swat. And possibly eviscerated. So y'all are warned if you ever come by the house.

Posted by: grandefille | December 14, 2006 09:26 PM

I didn't comment before because when I went to there were 540-something people that were ahead of me and I thought my little old sentiments would be clutter at that point.

I am so very sorry about the sudden death of your little girl. It sucks to lose a pet, but the suddenness of it makes for a sort of Post-Traumatic Stress type of mourning. My little pug, Cloe, was 3 last November. I let her out and 10 minutes later went to let her back in and she was dead. No warning, no sickness, nothing. The autopsy couldn't give me a reason either. It still makes me shudder sometimes when I relive it.

You're a great Doxie mommy, and while I know this may put a cloud over your holidays, I really think the wine will help with the merryness. I also can't wait to give the Bad Weiner notecards and gift tags to my Brother and his fiance who have a mini-dachsund puppy named Sadie. They are hilarious and came very prettily wrapped!

Merry Christmas!

P.S. Does Dukay have any Christmassy embroidered pants? I came across some somewhere and I thought of you. :)

Posted by: Sam | December 14, 2006 09:31 PM

I laugh and cry with you. I had to put my beloved Miss Casey to sleep last month and it was the hardest decision of my adult life (not including the divorce, which we won't talk about here:) I am always amazed by people who don't have pets. They just don't have any idea how much love and laughter and richness our babies bring to our lives.

Much love and prayers to you, the family and the boys.

Posted by: carolyn | December 14, 2006 09:32 PM

3 years after losing the last of my Samoyeds I can finally see one on the street without crying. My breath catches but it no longer stops my day; now I smile. I completely agree on the being glad/destroyed about the quickness of the death. With any pet and/or relative I've lost, I've had that same contrary feeling.

I'm so glad that the last day of Tasha being home was of you cuddling with her on the couch. She couldn't have been more loved.

I hope your family has a wonderful Christmas!

Posted by: Nicole P. | December 14, 2006 09:38 PM

i hate that song, too. a lot. actually, i hate it more than anything else i've ever hated (except for my best friend in high school that slept with my boyfriend, thereby giving me her yeast infection. that will always win.).

i can't believe i just typed that.

merry christmas.

Posted by: jennifer | December 14, 2006 09:45 PM

I'm really sorry. I sent you an email the day you wrote the Goodbye, Girl post, detailing how silly and funny you are, and then realized the complete insensitivy of it. Tact is not something I'm good at. I really just wanted you to know that you're cool.

I wish I could donate right now, but I'm kind of struggling to pull Christmas together over here for my boy. (Tactless. Again. Cuz do the zillions of people on your site need to know that? No.) I will donate after the new year, I promise.

Again, I'm sorry you and your family is going through this. I don't know what it's like to lose a pet, but your writing is vivid enough to make it imagineable. I hope it doesn't seem hollow, but I hope you still enjoy your Christmas.

Posted by: Kate | December 14, 2006 09:54 PM

Dogs are the coolest. Rescuing them is... even cooler.

Posted by: TheMac | December 14, 2006 10:11 PM

I don't know how to make a smiley that is a sad but hopeful kind of smile so, insert one of those here and give yourself a hug from me.

Posted by: shy me | December 14, 2006 10:13 PM

I've been loving on and clinging to my little dog ever since I read your post last night. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Vanessa | December 14, 2006 10:20 PM

Dox - I really cried when you mentioned seeing "goodbye, girl". It KILLS me to imagine doing that with my two lovely doxies... my heart goes out to you. I made the dogs PROMISE to stay around for the next, say, 200 years. :)

Posted by: Chris | December 14, 2006 10:24 PM

I love Miss Doxie and her bad bad short n' browns more than my luggage, yes I do. My bad bad BAD cats send love (hisses) and kisses (BITE!) to your short and brown boys.

The internet loves sweet Miss Tasha....

Posted by: missbanshee | December 14, 2006 10:27 PM

Ah, Leigh, you sure deliver the laughter through tears.

You and your family (incl. dogs) are still in my thoughts.

Posted by: Vaguely Urban | December 14, 2006 11:27 PM

I am so happy to hear about the donations to DRNA! I'm also happy to say i am in the process of adopting my very first doxie through DRNA (here she is http://www.drna.org/description.asp?DogID=1201 )!!! even though you dont know me, i just feel so wonderful to be adopting a rescued doxie, and i thought it might give you just a little warm fuzziness too. DRNA is wonderful. tasha was wonderful. i'm so glad that there is some good coming from this.

Posted by: rennie | December 14, 2006 11:28 PM

Leigh, how DO you make so many people laugh through their tears? Perhaps that is the greatest gift our animal companions give us: the ability to be more than ourselves, to feel and to live more deeply and richly. And YES, YOU ARE A GOOD MOMMY! And always, always remember that Love is eternal. It never dies, it only changes form. Blessed be to you and Dukay and The Bad Brown Ones. Hugs from Sharon and Ginger The Wonder Wiener.

Posted by: Sharon | December 15, 2006 12:16 AM

My own doxie, Lulu, is a rescue and in the last year she has truly snuggled her way into my entire heart. I can not imagine life without her. Your post made me cry and laugh. Best wishes to you, Dukay and the 3 brown dogs.

Posted by: Elizabeth K | December 15, 2006 12:20 AM

OMG, I love love love the Steel Magnolias references. I was cracking up the whole way through, until the 5 grand thing. That is so wonderful...many short bad browns will be helped by that. And this makes me misty.

Oh, and laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.

After I watch Claree tell M'Lynn to hit Weezer. That scene cracks my shit up everytime.

Posted by: a horrible warning | December 15, 2006 12:31 AM

Look at all the wonderful wonderfulness that came out of something so sad and Tasha's passing. Maybe, if and when the timing is right, and you'll know when that is, you can get another little girl to balance out the maleness in the house.

Am I the only person who hasn't heard the shoe song? Now that I've said it, I'll probably hear it 12 times tomorrow.

Posted by: Lisa | December 15, 2006 12:58 AM


Well, you've managed to make my laugh, cry, and make that squeaky "awwwwe!" noise. All without sleeping with me. ;)

I feel for you, and am glad you are (somewhat) healing. Remember that most of us have gone through this, and if you need time to yourself, we will all understand, and will be patiently waiting...

Posted by: Jennifer C. | December 15, 2006 01:33 AM

Miss Doxie, I thought of you tonight when I saw a Kevin Kl!ng show. He described doxies as having "so much can-do attitude for such a can't-do body."

Glad to hear that you're doing better. One day at a time, and if that's too much, take it hour by hour or minute by minute. And be sure to drink lots of grape juice, the happy kind.

Posted by: Cara | December 15, 2006 01:42 AM

I think you should think about putting disclaimers before your posts about Tasha. Because they're making me cry. Like a baby. Perhaps something that reads, "Locate wine. STAT."

I'm thinking if I drink before I cry over a doggie I never met, my BAC level will deter me from driving the 65 miles home just to hug the crap out of my doggie and baby-talk her until she gnaws my arm off. And I like my arm. It matches the other one.

PS: You've sealed the deal for me, by the way. I've been considering rescuing a doxie this year, and you and Tasha have inspired me to go through with it. Thank you.

Posted by: kristachio | December 15, 2006 02:26 AM

Alright y'all.. I don't know what song you're talking about, but if it makes someone crazy enough to want to do bad things to Cindy Lou Who.. it MUST be bad and I wouldn't, like your other reader, go and LOOK IT UP! What are they thinking?

Second - I had to go look at the doxie one of your readers is in process of adopting and cuz I'm already half weepy eyed from your post, I'm of course getting weepy over the available doxies and their various cuteness and issues and still adorableness.. and so wish I could have one but most of them hate cats. Miss Emma would not be having that.

Lastly - amazing on the donation - positively unexpected and lovely. People can be so kind. I'm glad you are getting thru this. It can only get better, but Tasha of course won't be forgotten.
Much love to you Leigh. xoxo

Posted by: Angel | December 15, 2006 02:38 AM

Now, when they see me coming, they scatter like cockroaches, screaming, "FOR LOVE OF GOD DOGS ARE FINE! STOP POKE! STOP POKE US!"

LOVE that line. I am so sorry about Tasha.

I think I feel the need to watch Steel Magnolias today. mk

Posted by: markira | December 15, 2006 07:13 AM

Thanks for updating, I have been thinking about you all week. Good to know that you are able to talk about all the emotions and feelings, with or with out wine. Thats important.

Hurray for nice people who donate!!!

Merry Christmas!


ps~~~Is loving us "more than luggage" as good or better than "loving us more than cute shoes"?!?!?!

Posted by: Judy | December 15, 2006 08:22 AM

Every day is a blessing with dogs, and cats, and sometimes even the significant other.

Posted by: Mrs.MGA | December 15, 2006 08:44 AM

Oh, Miss Doxie what a wonderful thing has come from your little Tasha's passing...and please keep you fingers crossed for us, we have wanted to add to our family for awhile now, and thanks to the DRNA we are in the process of adopting a beautiful little girl for our family and I am sure that our current doxie will be giddy with excitement..

keep handing out the lovin ....

Posted by: copzgirl | December 15, 2006 08:45 AM

Hi there!

I'm a new reader, love your site, and I send you my condolences on the death of your doggie. :(

I am de-lurking to comment because I thought I was the ONLY person that hated that horrid song!!! In fact, just the other day my husband started humming it, and I gave him a Dangerous Look, and he was horrified to learn I hate that song because "it tugs at his heart a little." I just had to look at him and admit that apparently I'm just a cold, cold person because I could care less if that damn kid gets his mother those damn shoes.

Posted by: Katie | December 15, 2006 08:49 AM

Ditto on the Shoe Song From Hell.

It's wonderful to see Tasha's legacy. This little online community here is full of good people. You just brought us all together. :)

Posted by: CLD | December 15, 2006 09:23 AM

Oh, MIss Doxie, you make me laugh and cry and want to rewatch Steel Magnolia. I'm so glad that something good can come out of your loss. My heart goes out to you.

Posted by: Steph | December 15, 2006 09:33 AM

i am so glad that tasha did not have to spend the night alone in the hospital. my timber did, but it was so we could get the ultrasound to know for sure it was cancer. sometimes i wish i would have brought her home and fed her a thanksgiving dinner plate of her own, but i know that would not have been fair for her. only a little easier on me. i too am glad that she went fast and without pain, but it is and likely will be for a long time, the hardest thing i have ever done. you continue to be in my thoughts, and reading your blog helps me realize that while i can love another dog just as much, i will never replace timber and i am really not quite ready yet, as i sit here at work bawling my eyes out! thanks for helping me deal with it, even if you don't even realize you are doing it! it's so crazy to me how similar ours, and i am sure many others', tragedies have been! you see, my girl was just fine, eating mcdonald's french fries just a couple of days before and she too was only 7, but gave us the best 7 years so far! thanks again!

Posted by: somer | December 15, 2006 09:58 AM

Must. Not. Bawl. At work.

Thinking of you, Miss Doxie, and sending lots of love and virtual hugs your way.

Posted by: LadyBug | December 15, 2006 09:59 AM

Dachshunds are meant to be spoiled.............you should go read the Christmas list that my three put together: http://www.squidoo.com/lensmaster/dogwishes

That should give you some more ideas of how to spoil the little brown ones......

Posted by: christine | December 15, 2006 10:41 AM

Thanks a lot for making me tear up at work!

Hug those bad doxies for me and also keep poking. Dog torture is acceptable. Especially for Bo.

Posted by: Amber | December 15, 2006 10:56 AM

Wonderful - I couldn't have said it better about losing a dog. And I'm so excited Doxie Rescue (and other less fortunate doxies than your three getting-fatter-everyday doxies) will benefit. Tasha is smiling in heaven as she's digging potato chips out of the couch up there.

Posted by: Heather | December 15, 2006 11:09 AM

We don't have any doxies in my family, but we adopted 2 kittens back in March. A week ago (because obviously we're friggin crazy fools) we added a 60 lb German Shepherd to the mix. All adopted from shelters, and saved from... well, I can't even begin to think about that. Just thinking about losing one of them brings me to tears, so god knows what I'll be like when that time actually comes. It took me 4 attempts to finish reading your post because of all the crying (not such a super thing at work!) Hoping that with time the pain of losing Tasha eases, but at least it is a comfort to know that so many other dogs will be helped with the donations people have made. Truly awesome.

Posted by: Erin | December 15, 2006 12:13 PM

We have had two sucky dog deaths in 2006 ( both wonderful rescued shelties) and the remaining brood is going to die of FATNESS. Treats from guilt, treats from sadness, just treats, treats, treats all day. Husband went mad and got a new puppy (Two! Weeks! Before! Christmas!)we will have HAP PEE Holidays. I saw corduroy pants with embroidered candy canes in a catalog- does El Dukay have some?

Posted by: Mom2Elvis | December 15, 2006 12:17 PM

Leigh you continue to amaze me every time I open your page. Your puppies, family, friends and the wonderful people who read your site are lucky to have someone who cares. I have to admit to more than a few tears reading about Tasha but to realize a silver lining takes a special person.

My own doxies, Fredd and Olli, received much love when we heard about Tasha. They send lots of very high pitched barks your way. Me, I am sending you well wishes. I appreciate what you do for DRNA as well as for us mere humans.

Special people make the world a better place.

I appreciate that fact that you are just that.

Posted by: KD | December 15, 2006 12:46 PM

So so so sorry to hear about your losing Tasha -- and, of course, it was immediately after I had emailed your web store saying, in effect, "And where is my order?!?!"

Such compassion, such warmth, such empathy! Yep, you're looking at Mother Theresa reincarnated here.

With this morning's mail comes my order and Yay, it's carefully and cleverly wrapped and smells yummy and, oh look, a cute weiner dog pin!

I am rightfully chastened (but madly in love with your stuff).

Take care -- be well -- spoil the other kiddies and indulge yourself -- you were a very good mommy to Tasha.


Posted by: JF | December 15, 2006 12:46 PM

I still get sniffly when I talk about my golden retriever from when I was growing up. I cried like a baby for a week when she died. It was awful. At least I got to go hang around with her for a while and give her some homemade vanilla ice cream for the last time though.
Animals are the best though. Mine are the reason I'm going back to school for Veterinary Technology.

Posted by: Brianna | December 15, 2006 01:07 PM

Forgot to add hugs and kisses from my crazy bunch of animals to yours.... : )

Posted by: Brianna | December 15, 2006 01:08 PM

Oh, Leigh... I am so sorry to hear about all of this... I had been unable to check your site, and was thinking "I wonder what Christmas-y stories Leigh has...", and popped this open. I am so, so, so sorry.

We have four at home (well, four dogs, four cats, so eight in total). I cannot, for the life of me, imagine losing any of them. My thoughts are with you, and I'm totally admiring your strength right now.

I'm going to go home and hug all of them until they freak out (doesn't take long with some of 'em, but some can stand snuggles forever).

I hope you and the rest of your family (everyone!) is OK, and again, I'm sending you good thoughts.


Posted by: NoodleJen | December 15, 2006 01:42 PM

New treat on the market. Found them at Petco and www.drsfosterandsmith.com. Dried filet of duck breast. Petco's are called Quackers. Miss Lucy Goosy Moonpie says heaven has indeed come to our house. Hugs to everyone in your house.
Merry Christmas.

Posted by: mackmomma | December 15, 2006 02:22 PM

All I need to do is get a glimpse of the entry "Goodbye, Girl" and I lose it again. My sweet doxie went to the vet one year ago, and Christmas time, and was diagnosed with "problems with his liver." They wanted to keep him and give him IV's, etc. But I already knew- I took him home, where he died two days later, after a struggle, but still in my arms and with the dogs he grew up with.

One month later we lost our rat terrier, Kitty, a shelter dog who lived to be 22. I thought for a time our last dog would also leave us, but my son's new puppy gave her a new lease on life. She and the doxy Buddy had grown up together and she took it as hard as I did. http://flickr.com/photos/pennyhoney/85623024/

Losing a dog- or any pet for that matter- can be very underrated in the scheme of modern life. In venues like this, pet owners can find a place to reach out to others. So you can say, Miss Doxie, that Tasha has been a blessing to so many.

I also sent a donation to DRNA in memory of Tasha, and received a very nice email in return. Blessings to all who open their hearts here. And for the record, this reader in Ohio can't stand to hear about Mommy and her shoes meeting Jesus tonight!

Posted by: pennyhoney | December 15, 2006 02:24 PM

So sorry to hear about Tasha. I don't really comment much, but wanted to say something here. I'm so glad that she didn't suffer and that you got to say goodbye. I hope you're still feeling okay and we'll (me and my two corgi dogs) be thinking of you both!

Posted by: Jen | December 15, 2006 03:27 PM

I am glad that you are being spoiled along with the little brown crew..."They'll just shoot Pugsly and hellloooo, bacon!" made me cry with laughter. Poor Pugs. Teehee....

Great big hugs from VA, our family and "Spoot the Doot" - the resident Nazi dachshund here- who is, as we speak, putting on "Tasha pounds" due to the fact that we are spoiling her with treats and tons of cheese in memory of your sweet girl.

We always taught her "sit pretty" [prairie dog style] but "Show us your tits" is so much more fun - a dog trick AND an anatomy lesson all in one - so it is the new catch phrase around here. I thank you!

Best wishes to you, Dukay and the mob - you must know that you bring a big smile to all of us -

Hugs Leigh!

Posted by: SkippyMom | December 15, 2006 04:29 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. The week before Thanksgiving I had to have my cat put to sleep. She was my baby for 10 years. I miss her so much.
My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: Copper | December 15, 2006 04:48 PM

I'm glad you're doing better! Tasha will always hold a place in your heart. I think I mentioned my Sweetie when I commented last. He really was a sweet cat. My daughter has her kitty's ashes in a beautiful little cedar box. And I spoil my cat Teddy knowing how much I'll miss him when his time comes.

Posted by: Leeny | December 15, 2006 04:50 PM

five grand is a. lot. of. money. that's really something.

Posted by: erin | December 15, 2006 05:19 PM

God, I love "Steel Magnolias." That M'Lynn speech is useful in many situations.

And you made me cry. Again. (But in the best possible way). And I'm still sorry, but I'm glad you've found the meaning in Tasha's passing. The Innernets. It is filled with love and generosity!

Moving on before I start singing Kumbayah.

(Must head home to hug our dog -- who, by the way, has been ultra-spoiled in Tasha's memory, too. MUST HUG DOG.)

Posted by: Lawyerish | December 15, 2006 05:19 PM

Oh, and uh...Christmas shoe song?

Posted by: Lawyerish | December 15, 2006 05:21 PM

glad to see that things are getting better day by day.

And I love me some steel magnolias. one of the only movies that can simultaneously make me laugh and cry. excellent reference.

Posted by: Ness | December 15, 2006 05:50 PM

Miss Doxie, You've been in my thoughts & prayers since I first read about Tasha. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a sweet little pet is so, so hard, and my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you're dealing with it in a very healthy way, and I'm so glad there's a silver lining. It's so good to know there are so many wonderful people in the world!

Posted by: BaddMinton | December 15, 2006 05:53 PM

I haven't been to your site in a while either, because every time I saw that title, I would bawl and my husband would ask me what was wrong, and how do I tell him that I am bawling about a dog I have never met, who belongs to a girl I have never met either? He just doesn't get that.

Posted by: Joy | December 15, 2006 07:30 PM

So sorry, Doxie :-( This entry made me cry.

So glad that you are feeling better (or getting there, at least) and my prayers are with you.

Posted by: Nicole | December 15, 2006 07:42 PM

Leigh, you a greater writer when it comes to getting your feelings not only 'out there' but tangled up around your readers' funny bones as well as their hearts; that's obvious to anyone who reads here for any amount of time. More importantly though, by reading such a heartfelt post as this I just know you are what we call 'good people' to the core.

In my next life I want to be your puppy.

Posted by: Amy | December 15, 2006 08:27 PM

Oh, this post was so sweet, and yes, even funny. Poor little Tasha. I'm glad she didn't suffer.

Posted by: victoria | December 15, 2006 09:00 PM

Miss Doxie, I have to tell you this: Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion. And you have nailed it right on down way better than just about anything I've seen this year.

I just now found out about Tasha 'cos I am so used to you updating every two (or three) weeks I hadn't been back since the Post of Shopping Links went live, so imagine the shock and dismay when I come back expecting a big ol' blank screen, and I see how much pain the last week has been for you.

You don't know me from Eve's housecat, 'n that's fine 'n all, 'cos - hey, random webbernet lurker type person - but please know that I (along with all my four-legged children) (all seven of them) am thinking of you, Bo, Gimmme, Pugsley, Dukay, and Tasha with so much love. And I may just have to find you and buy you wine when I am down in That City from This City next month.

Posted by: Pave.Gurl | December 15, 2006 11:12 PM

I have been a lurker for over a year and just had to say how truly sorry I am about your Tasha. You have my most sincere condolences. I've lost a fur-baby a few months ago that I rescued and I know how hard that decision is to let go. Again, please accept my condolences.

Posted by: Brandy | December 15, 2006 11:25 PM

I'm so glad you're doing better and that people have been so generous in their donations! It takes a long time to get through it...just remember that you are in fact getting through it and not over it. And I've decided you should be my friend because you love Steel Magnolias like a good little southerner. I'm from the mountains of NC so I understaaaaand the grieving process needs lots of food and wailing. We should talk about Fried Green Tomatoes too... Take care and snuggle your weeners (sausages? bratwursts? how fat ARE they now?) for me! :)

Posted by: Sue | December 15, 2006 11:30 PM

I know just what you mean about not being able to get on your blog because the last entry said "Goodbye Girl." I couldn't log on either, because every time I pulled up the Miss Doxie site and saw that headline my eyes welled up and I couldn't work for the rest of the day.

I totally know everything you're going through because after our dog was diagnosed with cancer and died only 2 weeks later, all I could do is think back and remember little signs that I thought I should have noticed and wondered if I could have saved her if only I'd realized sooner. But our vet told us even if we'd known sooner it wouldn't have mattered so I tried to comfort myself with that. It's so hard with animals because they can't tell us they don't feel right.

I'm happy for your other 3 dogs because I know they're getting so spoiled. We spoiled our cat after our dog died. And then after 2 months of being without a dog we realized the only cure was to get another one. But I was totally paranoid after we did get our new dog. I kept watching for any sign of illness. One day after we'd had her about 4 months, it was one of the first nice days of spring and she was very lethargic. I rushed her to the vet's convinced she had something terrible wrong with her. After bloodwork, full examination, etc., the vet gave me the verdict. She was 100% A-OK. I had become a dog hypochondriac. Apparently she just had spring fever and didn't feel as energetic as she had in the colder weather!

I know how much your loss of Tasha will hurt for a long time. But eventually you do start just remembering the good things and forget the pain.

Best wishes and lots of kisses for your other 3 doxies...

Posted by: Mauigirl52 | December 15, 2006 11:55 PM

I just put my mini of 11 years to sleep today. There are no more tears left in me. I've had him since I was 10 years old. How do you say goodbye to something that's been the embodiment of your childhood and happiness? Best wishes to you, because I know what it's like.

Posted by: Briana | December 15, 2006 11:57 PM

I am so very sorry.

Posted by: justJENN | December 16, 2006 03:00 AM

I am so sorry. I have never had a pet but I can just I can just imagine - hugs - bets

Posted by: the bee | December 16, 2006 05:54 AM

Oh Miss Doxie, I am so sorry for all your pain. Losing a pet is so, so difficult, and I'm amazed at how strong and articulate you are about it all. I found out the day after Thanksgiving that our family dog has a brain tumor, and I cried through the entire weekend. I can't even imagine what I'll do when we actually lose her.
Big hugs to you, Dukay, the dogs, and the amazing people who have donated in Tasha's memory.

Posted by: erica | December 16, 2006 09:30 AM

You've got mail

Posted by: Michelle | December 16, 2006 01:10 PM

Well, I physically couldn't comment on the last two entries. The first for fear that I'd jinx poor Tasha... and the second because I physically broke down after the news.

Now, in the middle of breakdown mode for the second time, I am attempting to leave some semblance of a coherant message.

Last year, our little Chico was mauled in our yard in the country by coyotes, and I too, feel the same that you are feeling. That somehow I should have known, could have done something. But there was nothing that COULD have been done. Nothing that would have helped in any way, shape, nor form. His death was just as sudden and unexpected as that of Tasha.

It was just as if we'd lost one of the children. When we found him, I broke down in the middle of the driveway, collapsed in a heap in the middle of the night and screamed because we'd lost the baby.

Even hubby is getting teary over the loss of Tasha. Give those naughty little brown boys a good scratch behind the ears and snuggles for us, too. And don't forget to love yourself, and make sure that YOU are really fine with everything. The self is the last person we think about during these times.

I truly wish there was something more that I could do for you. I will spread the word of Doxie rescue to as many as I can reach... and give my girls a big snuggle for Tasha, too.

From experience, I can truly say that I know just what you're feeling, confusion, loss, a little craziness, and lots of love and compassion for the remaining brown children.

If you need someone to talk to (besides the 500+ that I'm sure can help, too, that is...), you may not know my name, but you certainly know where to find me.

Love to you and Dukay.
Don't forget to give the pups a squeeze.

Posted by: ApparentlyCrazy | December 17, 2006 02:51 AM

You´re dealing beautifuly with all of this...I would be a mess... I have a Bernese and a Golden retriever that are the love of my life, and i don´t know what I´ll do without them...
I´m sorry for you loss...
Now i´m going to give an extra treat and a kiss on my doggies...

Posted by: Fernanda | December 17, 2006 10:56 AM

I'm so terribly sorry, Leigh. The loss of Tasha is purely senseless and tragic and heartbreaking. My little black and brown wiener is starting to wonder what's wrong with me, because I keep scooping him up and squeezing him for no obvious reason, just because I can hardly bear the thought of experiencing what you are right now. You, Dukay, and your boys are all in my prayers.

Posted by: Carol | December 17, 2006 03:22 PM

Hi, I am so sorry for your tragedy...I deffinitely know where you're coming from. I agree that, while it was a hard decision for you to make, it is a major blessing that Tasha did not suffer. Really, putting an animal to sleep is the last act of love that you can give them. I know that each one that goes takes a piece of you with them, but think of all of the wonderful times you had with Tasha, and all of the wonderful things she taught you. Anyways, love and sympathy from all of your readers in Moscow ID.

Posted by: Lacy | December 17, 2006 04:09 PM

Miss Doxie,
Heartfelt condolences for all that you've been through these past two weeks. But the silver lining in all of this? Just when you're convinced the world is on the express train in the proverbial handbasket, perfect strangers show their humanity by giving to rescue in loving memory of a dog we've never met but have nevertheless come to love through your words. What an awesome reminder that most folks are good stuff -- we're just too used to only hearing about the deadbeats.

My best to you and yours and know that Tasha's waiting at the rainbow bridge for you....furiously humping the couch cushions -- and probably showing her tits to anyone who asks (maybe even those who don't!).

Posted by: saranlap | December 17, 2006 08:29 PM

So sorry to hear about Miss Tasha. My sincerest condolences on the loss of your girl.

Posted by: Tink | December 17, 2006 11:11 PM

Miss Doxie, I have always loved reading your site in the months before getting my very own dachshund girls in 2004, when I read this I started to cry, I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. I look at my babies sleeping at my feet this moment and want to get down and check if they are breathing..Tonight I will kiss my girls and say a little prayer for you and Tasha! Thoughts & Prayers- Hannah & "The Girls" (Daisy, Chloe & Trinny)

Posted by: Hannah | December 18, 2006 01:18 AM

Wow, what a beautiful entry. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope things continue to get a little easier each day.

Posted by: Mandy | December 18, 2006 03:52 PM

Our doxie tails are at half mast. No full-on wagging today.

Posted by: erin burt | December 18, 2006 04:28 PM

Oh, boy. I came today because Kelly sent me, and this could not be more timely.

Currently owned and managed by eight poodles, not to mention a handful of horses and ponies, I can only say that , and I'm sorry.

You expressed your feelings beautifully, and made an honorable tribute to Tasha. I totally, absolutely GET IT. My utmost sympathies.

Posted by: Belinda | December 18, 2006 06:17 PM

I've laughed, I've cried, I've leapt for joy, I've run through the range of emotions tonight reading your latest news. I work with Gulf Coast Dachshund Rescue and know the joy of finding one of our furbabies a new forever home. I also know the dread of trying to pay the ever growing vet bills that normally come with a rescued baby. Tasha's leaving you will help out so many in such wonderful ways - what a loving tribute! I'm thrilled to read that there are those who have decided to check out rescue and hope that each finds the perfect baby for their home.
I am currently owned by a small herd (!) of 9 long dawgs of various shapes, sizes and colors. Some rescues and some not but all enjoying some not much needed spoiling in honor of Miss Tasha.
Please know that all of our dachshund cult - ahem.... I mean club members at www.DoxieLovers.com are sending poweful rayz of love and healing to you and your small ones.

Posted by: Mama S. | December 18, 2006 08:53 PM

I just found out my baby girl doggie is sick. She has an infection in her uterus. She's on antibiotics until Friday and hopefully it will be gone by then or things don't look very good for my Princess :(

Posted by: Annie | December 18, 2006 09:25 PM

I was on a Dachshund site and your link was posted...so I had to come look.

I am owned by 2 Miniature Dacshunds, 1 mixed Dachshund from a great rescue and a beautiful mutt girl. We are still trying to figure out what her breed is!

I am so sorry for the loss of your Tasha...I know what it is. I am sorry that you know that pain.

Steel Magnolias is one of my favorite movies ever..."I wear a size 7 but an 8 feels so good I buy a size 9!" You made me cry and laugh all at the same time. That's a gift.

I have had pets all of my life...I have loved them all...but these Dachsies, well...they have that special Je Ne Se Qua! They pretty much rule me.....I was never a push over...not even while raising my kids...nor did I know (no one told me...they forgot to send me the memo!) that I had the ability to become one!

Yet, here I am. No longer BOSS...(only where the pups are concerned) :)

You have a great wit! You and your doggies are going places.

When you write your first book...can you send me a copy???

Take care...may your heart be healed as quickly as it was torn.


Posted by: RitaE | December 18, 2006 09:30 PM


I'm de-lurking to say how very sorry I am that you lost Tasha. I don't have dogs (though I do love other people's), but I've lost some wonderful doggie friends in my life. Also, now I have a cat friend named Tasha I'd be devastated at losing. Animals are like children...people who don't love an animal don't always understand that.

So thank goodness for copious wine in the fridge! And donations in Tasha's honor.

You know what other Christmas songs annoy me (in addition to that fucking Christmas shoes song)? That one about that girl Maria and the bird who begins to sing. There's some other song about heating a cup o' tea by the fire that always makes me switch the radio to some heavy metal rock station, too. And anything by THE CARPENTERS. Those are particularly painful.

But lots of hugs to you for Tasha's loss.

Posted by: amy | December 18, 2006 09:39 PM

First, I have been pounding at my head to get my brain to remember the name of your third dog. I could remember Bo and Gimme - but Pugsley's name escaped my elderly brain cells.

Second, my personal favorite for getting me over rough spots is a coffee martini - but if wine works, I'm sure glad you have it.

Third, thanks for the website for Doxie rescue. The world is entirely too full of really shitty people and insufficient doxies and Siamese and Maine Coons (the last 2 refer to my beloved - and frequently annoying - cats). Anyone who abuses an animal should be subject to the most vile penalties.


Posted by: Gayle Miller | December 19, 2006 11:16 AM

Oh, Miss D! My eyes just welled up reading your latest. I would be OD'ing on Ice cream and my remaining dogs would be getting dangerously fat. You're right that every tragedy has some sort of silver lining, as hard as it may be to spot. I'm so glad for the donations that have been made!!! I told my husband about what happened and we've been a little more paranoid about our own doggies. She'll never really be gone from your heart. And keep giving your three babies lots of love and they'll help you through it all!!! :)

Posted by: Megan | December 19, 2006 12:50 PM

Hey, Miss Leigh.

I'm glad to know you're doing better. While I can't make any donations, I will be sending a lot of positive energy your way and any other way that you think would help.

Take care. We're all behind you, as usual. ^n_n^ (hugs)

Posted by: Multi-Facets | December 19, 2006 02:23 PM

We lost Maggie, age 6.5, on Nov. 13, to intervertebral disk disease. She was incapacitated, from the waist down, within a few days of our noticing symptoms.

We had to put her down. We had and are having the same feelings, second-guesses, and thoughts you're experiencing, and you're right:

Ultimately, there are two little dogs in the wings, waiting to take Tasha and Maggie's places.

God bless and our condolences to you and your puppies.

Posted by: Sarah | December 19, 2006 04:22 PM

I'm really sorry, Leigh. Anyone who has had to let go of a pet knows exactly how you feel. Stay strong and peace.

Posted by: adambomb1973 | December 19, 2006 05:28 PM

Miss Doxie,

If all the wine and well wishes don't make it better let me know. I'll see if I can track down Shirley MacLaine for you so that you can "take a whack o' Ouiser." I'm sure that would help.

I've been spoiling my dogs by feeding them Christmas cookies. I told them they were getting the cookies because of Tasha. I'm sure they're very thankful.

Take good care,

Posted by: Megan | December 20, 2006 09:26 AM

Delurking to tell you how sorry I am that you lost your sweet girl. We are HUGE pet lovers in our house. Until a few weeks ago, we had three large breed dogs and two cats. Well, the king of our doggy kingdom was Max, a 15-year-old Australian Shepherd/Chow mix my husband rescued off the streets of Detroit. Max was a wonder. He'd happily nip non-family members who went by him too fast (nothing serious, just a hey, i'm right here kind of thing) and terrorized our lab/greyhound mix adoptee just by walking in the room but he would sit for an hour straight grooming and nuzzling our Boxer/Shepherd, the youngest of our pack, and would roll around in spasms of joy whenever our daughter would grant him even the littlest bit of attention.

Unfortunately, Max was middle aged when my husband rescued him and we only had a few years with him, but oh what wonderful years they were. We had him put to sleep a few weeks ago when we realized that hip dsyplasia, arthritis, old age and glaucoma were taking just too great a toll on our Maxie.

Losing a pet is never an easy thing, no matter how its done. It is my belief that those of us who choose to welcome a pet into our lives are not only richer for the experience but also extremely brave for taking on what can only end in the sadness you are facing now.

I've been reading your blog for quite some time and I know my life has been made a little better for the Tasha stories you've told here. You are so lucky to have loved and been loved by her.My heart goes out to you. I will hug my dogs a few more times tonight.

And oh yeah, I hate the Christmas Shoes, too.

Posted by: Bitka | December 20, 2006 12:55 PM

I read your journal all the time at work *tis a lurker* lol, because our job IS to pull blogs, *ZOMG!* lol, anyways, I read all about your beautiful puppy dogs and then when I read this a few days ago I was like "awww no." :( I'm sorry for your lose of your beautiful dog!! I will give my cats extra hugs tonight in memory of her.

Posted by: Nightspiritwing | December 20, 2006 08:28 PM

A friend of mine linked to you blog today, and I'm so glad she did. I am SO SO SO sorry for your loss, and so amazed at your strength and ability to look at the positive side of things. Tasha obviously had an owner who loved her very much. As an owner of rescued dogs, I know what it means to have people give donations to doggy organizations so that other dogs can have a better life. You can count on a donation from me! Again, I'm sooooo sorry. I will give my pups extra kisses this evening.

Posted by: Nap Queen | December 21, 2006 05:11 PM

When we had to put Sweet Pea down, I was checking the other 3 cats for WEEKS afterwords, convinced that Sweet Pea had given the other cats F.I.P.

But he didn't, and 3 years later, they are all still here, and still healthy.

I bet Tasha didn't want YOU to suffer, either. She's waiting at the Rainbow Bridge.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Posted by: shelli | December 21, 2006 08:59 PM

I've loved your blog for making me laugh so hard I cried. And now I love your blog for making me cry so hard AND laugh at the same time. Super bonus points for quoting THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER! Oscar and I said our puppy prayers for Miss Tasha last week and now we'll pool some of Oscar's allowance with Mommy's funds and make a donation to Beagle Rescue of Southern MD in Tasha's name. My mom and dad just rescued a lovely little girl from there last weekend, so that's where we'll send our support.

Posted by: Beth | December 22, 2006 09:03 AM

i'm so deeply saddened to hear about your loss. I'm equally moved to read of the donations that have been made to honor Tasha. Merry Christmas.

Posted by: tiggerprr | December 22, 2006 09:59 AM

So sorry to hear about your doggie, would've commented sooner but there's an evil virus of doom going around. Come to think of it, I may have been under the impression that I *did* comment sooner, then again, I was also at one point under the impression that my bedroom was spinning in circles of it's own free will. But, I digress. Terribly sorry about your recent events, and hope that the rest of your holiday is far more pleasant. Merry Christmas.

Posted by: Radiantsky | December 23, 2006 03:23 AM


It's 4:00 am Central Time. My dog, Sam, died 2 hours ago - very suddenly. This really sucks, you know?


Posted by: Erin | December 23, 2006 04:58 AM

New here... I found you through another site that I read and I just wanted to send a little note to say how sorry I am about Tasha. I have 2 Shih Tzu babies and I cannot imagine going through this with either of them, although I know that it is reality and will eventually happen. Keep your head up, knowing that Tasha's life was not wasted, but was enriched by your ability to love and care for her. She seemed to hold a very special place in your heart, and I'd bet that she probably felt the same about you.

Posted by: Melissa | December 23, 2006 06:40 AM

Just stopping by to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas. I hope this holiday weekend finds you surrounded by those you hold most dear.

Posted by: LadyBug | December 23, 2006 11:53 PM

I lost my baby girl in August. I still get blubbery. Everyone experiences loss in their own way so I won't give you any advice or words of wisdom except that the sun did seem to come up everyday and wine magically appeared in my fridge. We adopted another turd-dog in her honor in October. Since she died from pancreatitis, I wrote about her death in the rescue newsletter so we could help other hounds. It all sucks ass no matter how you slice it. You're a good dog mom and she was a lucky wiener.

Posted by: daphne | January 2, 2007 09:54 PM

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