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"Dammit, Janet!"

December 08, 2006

Or, more accurately, dammit, Movable Type! Give a girl a minute, here.

So, as we all know, sometimes sequels do not suck. I believe that the cardinal examples used to prove this point are usually "The Godfather Part II," "Lethal Weapon II", and...uh. Hmm.

Okay, I can't think of another one. Ghostbusters II was not very good. Jaws II was crappity, but nowhere near the cinematic meltdown that was Jaws 3-D, in which the shark somehow obtained the ability to growl. And for some reason, these are the only two examples of sequels I can come up with right now. I am pretty sure, however, that more exist.

But, I am not going to go looking for any more cinematic examples, because I have been hard at work on our own little sequel over here, namely, the Follow-Up Gift Guide, where I've added new shops, consolidated the old ones, and (hopefully) recorded all of the gift certificates and offers provided to y'all by nice shop people. Of course, I was planning on having this done by Tuesday, but given the logic of "time" in my world, which has been a wee bit busy lately, what with the lawyering and the shop and the not sleeping and the putting of things in boxes, and the breaking of the sewing machine and the cursing of an entire generation of sewing machine manufacturers, and then the subsequent embarrassment upon having to purchase a new sewing machine, because...bobbin? Who's that?

So, yeah. The sequel isn't done yet. It is almost done, but it is not all the way there. Hopefully, I'll finish it later this afternoon, or possibly tonight. But regardless, y'all are definitely going to want to check that shit out, because there are a TON of new things, and new sellers and coupons and other delightfulness which will make your holidays very attractive, and practically free.

I will be back soon with all this, but in the meantime, y'all feel free to explain any of the following to me:

1. Why is it 28 degrees in Atlanta today?

2. Why can't I find any coats, except for this one coat that resembles what would happen if you shaved a muppet, but compensated by giving it some shoulder pads? Why is this the only coat I have?

3. Where are my coats?

4. Did y'all take my coats?

5. How come do I have a coat that looks like a shaved muppet with shoulder pads?

6. Is it your coat?

7. It is apparently from J. Crew.

8. What is the matter with J. Crew?

9. Did J. Crew have a season based on the central concepts of "shag carpet" and "what we come up with when we take the hard drugs"?

10. Where are my scissors?

...And so on.

So, now that I have lightened my load by sharing my many probing questions with y'all, I am going to try to finish this guide. Also, I posted some new Christmas cards over at Shop Doxie if y'all want to see, even though Christmas is spitting distance by now. For that idiotic timing, we can all thank the printers, who repeatedly fucked up the order. Or, we can pretend I am extraordinarily early, and it is already time for the prudent shopper to buy Christmas cards for next year, and I am just the most responsible person in the entire developed world. And not, say, the kind of person who lets her laundry accumulate until it threatens a military coup, who never cleans her ceiling fans, and who lets a gaggle of wiener dogs sleep in her bed, despite overwhelming evidence that it is a really fucking bad idea. I am not like that at all.

fall and halloween 2006 185.jpg
I call this "Bo with Antennae; Gimmme incapable of appreciating my sophisticated humor."

Anyway, it's time to wrap up this shopping guide like the savvy consumers that we are, so I'm off. See y'all shortly!

Oh, hold on. I'm an idiot:

P.S.: I've spoken to a bunch of people individually over the past few days, but I did want to at leasy quickly mention that I am so happy with, and so honored by, everyone's kind response to my little store. And I know I promised I wasn't going to talk about it over here (I won't! I really won't! This is an exception!), but I had to thank y'all for being so great, and for all of your comments and e-mails and feedback and everything else. And for those of y'all who have gotten your orders already (everyone else! I AM HURRYING! Or maybe it is already in the mail! I am a little overwhelmed right now), I really hope you're happy with them.

So, no more talking about the shop administration business, but I would have been a big old bitch if I hadn't at least thanked everyone for your overwhelming suppot, your nice comments, and your extreme personal attractiveness (admit it; y'all have been bringing sexy back, haven't you? Like, when I wasn't looking? Well played!). Happy holidays to everyone, and thank you so much!

Posted by doxie in I Got Drunk And Bought Shoes Online | permalink


Recieved my Shopdoxie goodies yesterday! Hurray, early Christmas for me!!!
So nicely packaged and very stylish I might add.

Don't feel too bad about the cold weather, it was 60 degrees yesterday in NY, today, a balmy 22.........what the hell is THAT?!?!?

Sorry I have no answers for your coat dilema or what the heck is the deal w/ J.Crew. They are definetly stuck in some 70's time warp. I grew up during that time and it wasn't pretty then and it's certainly not pretty now!

Stay warm, don't wk too hard............HA!


Posted by: Judy | December 8, 2006 12:36 PM

Love the Doxie store. It is my new favorite thing.

Posted by: Ashley | December 8, 2006 12:52 PM

Ha! Love the new cards. I will have to get some for next year...just as soon as my bank account recovers from Christmas shopping!

Posted by: Heather | December 8, 2006 01:02 PM

Oh! Oh oh oh! I just LOVE your weiners!

(You know, if my mother ever found out I typed that sentence, she would keel straight over dead of a heart attack.)

Posted by: tammy | December 8, 2006 01:45 PM

I got my bad weiner cards yesterday and gave them to my friend (who I ordered them for). LOOOOOVE EM.

Posted by: Amber | December 8, 2006 01:59 PM

Hey, came your way via Dad Gone Mad..and must say.

Your blog = hilarity. For real. I'm reading it at work, cuz I'm cool enough to get paid for that, and I keep doing that weird thing when you laugh suddenly without warning and it's this loud snort-type noise and you pitch forward and try to stop yourself cuz all the people around you are looking at you with angry faces cuz they're not cool enough to get paid for laughing like that.

You know. That weird thing. Good job!

Posted by: Kate | December 8, 2006 02:32 PM

Ok so I tried to comment on your entry from about 18 years ago about Harry Potter and how Snape isn't a bad guy? (cuz I'm still at work reading your archives doing that weird laugh thing) and it wouldn't let me! But it's way too important to let slide so I'm leaving it here.

"You are CLEARLY a crazy lady because Snape is so definitely a bad guy.

Oh and Harry? Yep. Definitely a Horcruxe. So obvious. Dumbledore even said that Voldemort was short one Horcruxe the night he killed Harry's parents, but still managed to end up with seven. Oh, and forshadowing all through the series about Harry's Horcruxeness all Dumble's blitherings about how Voldemort "put a little of himself in" Harry.

I'll theorize Harry Potter with you any day of the week, lady."

So that's that.

Posted by: Kate | December 8, 2006 03:24 PM

OK, so I KNEW there was a reason I hadn't purchased Christmas cards yet!

Posted by: Heather | December 8, 2006 03:28 PM

Now sister, I know you don't want to talk shop on your blog site, but why not throw a link up here somewheres? Maybe in the 'special love list'? Then we can read your funny words AND go shopping. Yay.

Posted by: jive turkey | December 8, 2006 03:49 PM

I say the same thing every time but woman you=funny. Yes. You do. The coat part? Laughing w/ no sound over here. Yes, that funny. And the shopping will commence for me as soon as my office moves next week so I can get my packages immediately when they arrive. Til then, sigh.. I have to wait. :(

Hope you find a better coat for 28 degrees. Thanksgiving it was 19! NINETEEN! In Seattle! Unfuckingheardof!

Posted by: Angel | December 8, 2006 03:58 PM

I agree! The linkage, it would be good. I bought goodies (Christmas tags and notecards) from ShopDoxie the other day, and while I don't mind at ALL scrolling through your first Holiday Guide to find the link, it would be good of you to put on up here. You know, for those of us who can't remember shopdoxie.com! :-)

BTW, bought gifts for my half-first-cousins from Pink Loves Brown - BRILLIANT website. I want some of the book plates for myself!

Posted by: Peyton | December 8, 2006 04:23 PM

Just did a little selfish shopping and bought a tiny bird cameo for myself...woo!

Posted by: jive turkey | December 8, 2006 04:45 PM

I got my Doxie gifts yesterday too and OMIGOD THEY ARE TOTALLY WITHOUT QUESTION SO SO SO CUTE.

And yes, beautifully wrapped.

I feel dumb asking- but must: The pin of the lady ? Is that a trick? Is that one of those "there are two things here, not just one- you just have to look real hard" or is it just a lady with big hair?

My mom has a dachsund and I bought the pins for her, she will SQUEAL. yes, SQUEAL- at 55- over them!

her dog gets better treatment than any of us EVER did!

I'll be getting more- and don't feel bad about talking about your store!

Posted by: tracie | December 8, 2006 04:58 PM

photo of coat politely requested.

Posted by: honestyrain | December 8, 2006 05:29 PM

De-lurking long enough to say how much I enjoy your posts and tell others folks to check it out for a barrel of laughs and fun photos.

Wishing you all the best and more time for frequent, always hilarious posts.

Posted by: bick | December 8, 2006 05:43 PM

I would like to second the "how the hell is it so cold in Atlanta" query, please. I moved back from Chicago to avoid such nonsense.

Loving the Doxie store! Makes me want to trade my Lab in for a Doxie (a comment I will pay for dearly if my Labbie Stella finds out).

Posted by: Floyd | December 8, 2006 06:30 PM

Another idea for your gift guide:
A lot of the stuff is more than $10, but some of her earrings and jewelry seem to fall within that range.

Also and P.S.: I love your store. Especially the fact that there are now 3-D Doxie cartoons available. (Much like Jaws. Except more plushie and take-homeable and cuddly and whatnot.)

Posted by: Cat | December 8, 2006 06:37 PM

Damn! I was here being all inteligent and stuff and asking for a permanent link of your shop on your sidebar and two people already beat me to it. So yes, put a link for easy access. And you can talk about it here too. I wouldn't mind. Just don't start counting your monies here, because I'm poor and not afraid of Bo. Ok, I am, but just a little.

Posted by: z. | December 8, 2006 07:14 PM

I just ordered some of your gift tags, the all-purspose ones. I'm planning to give them as a Christmas gift to someone, but now I'm thinking, NO! I'm probably going to keep them for myself. Anyway, keep up the good work. Love your stuff!

Posted by: Vanessa | December 8, 2006 07:15 PM

I love your web page and the Shop Doxie. Both are good for a laugh! I think I will try to order note cards after Christmas. I have two bad weiners myself, Emily who is 13, a long hair black and tan, and Annie who is 8, supposedly a long hair doxie of some color of brown but who is really a doxie of some kind with long hair. Something happened at the breeder that they didn't own up to or tell me about until I had already fallen in love with her. She is incredibly sweet but very BAD, I think she thinks her name is Annie Goddammit! They make me laugh every day.

Posted by: Chris | December 8, 2006 08:00 PM

You know why I like you, Miss Doxie? You are the most, and I mean this in terms of what you show us, positive person I have ever come across. Even when you have a bad day, you make it funny. You charm the pants off of your readers constantly and you give so much despite your busy schedule.

It truly is fabulous to come here and be uplifted by the words you put down. And you know? I find myself looking at the world with more and more humor each passing day because of the way you write.

You're quite the inspiration. (I know this has nothing to do with shopping or the BOs of the world but I wanted to share my thoughts regardless.)

Have a fantastic holiday, Miss Doxie! I hope you make TONS and BARRELS of money from your cute little online shop.

Posted by: Serenity | December 8, 2006 08:32 PM

Toy Story 2. Now THAT'S an awesome sequel.

Posted by: mom on a wire | December 8, 2006 09:28 PM

Oooo, I received my goodies from Shop Doxie today! They're so pretty and very high quality. And also: very beautifully packaged! Yay! You had better start designing more cards and stocking p on lots of them because your store is going to be a smash hit. Also, could you please sell t-shirts with your adorable drawings on them? I would absolutely buy one!

Posted by: Tartine | December 8, 2006 09:45 PM

Man, those weiner cards are super funny. Nice work!

Posted by: Gina | December 8, 2006 09:50 PM

Why are 4 bad weiners in bed a bad thing? Probably because it is a situation very similiar to have 3 bad poodles in bed (couldn't type "3 bad poos," because that opens up a whole 'nother side of things!
I swear that I am going to put some chiropractor's kid through law school or something, because of the way the 3 bad poodles make me sleep--in a strange pretzel shape just so they stay comfy. And will they sleep on the same side as The Man? Heck no--he flails about too much.

But, am going to be grateful for them tonight, since it's soooo damn cold here in Atlanta! (p.s. Love the shop! Would you like to branch out and make bad poodles?? I have stories and pictures!)

Posted by: Mary | December 8, 2006 10:46 PM

Sorry I didn't read this. I just wanted to thank you for a great amount of laughs. Only people that own dachshunds ever appreciate other owners...they are a breed onto themselves.

Hugs Leigh - you are so beyoond one person that it is phenomenal - you deserve everything that comes your way.

My love to you, Dukay and Bo...and Gimmee, since I have my own Gimmee...we call her SPOT...go figure.


Posted by: SkippyMom | December 9, 2006 02:25 AM

Love the store. Love the weiners. Love you.

Hate HATE hate the fact that it is ass flinching cold in mother freakin' Alabama. What is UP with this?

Posted by: Louly | December 9, 2006 02:28 AM

Yeeeee ha! Got my Bad Wiener loot today as well and I must say: well done! Problem is, I may find it hard to part with the cards, they're too cute to send. Anyway dear Miss D, I think I had a coat like that in my closet, but I always assumed it was a baby Bigfoot looking for a warm place to hibernate. I should have realized something was amiss since it had been lurking in there since circa 1984 next to the parachute pants.......

Posted by: Sharon | December 9, 2006 02:50 AM

Love your blog, love your shop. Found you through Mir's website. I've shared your blog with several attorneys that I work for. I occasionally hear them laugh for no reason from their offices down the hall and know they are reading your archives.

Just so you know it was 6 degrees here last night in Maine with 5 inches of snow from yesterday. Too bad this southern girl fell in love with Maine.

Keep writing, love to read. You are freaking hilarious.

Posted by: Linda | December 9, 2006 06:39 AM

ok really...about the email I sent you. I am so totally serious about a T-shirt with your art work on it. please please please tell me when you will offer one!!

Posted by: hlh | December 9, 2006 09:47 AM

Unless I'm somehow missing it and you already have one, you ought to include a link to your store up near your "about" and "email me" so's we can get there easily.

Posted by: ail | December 9, 2006 11:24 AM

I love your blog!

Um, Empire Strikes Back is a great sequel! Harrison Ford is mmm mmm good.


Posted by: Woogie | December 9, 2006 04:04 PM

From a fellow creative, sewer type, that struggles with bobbins and a 20 plus year old sewing machine I applaud you and your new store! I am very impressed!

And, I love your blog. Love, love, love it!

Posted by: Sparklykatt | December 9, 2006 07:34 PM

Best sequels? Shrek II!! Far and away much the superior of the original.

Posted by: Michael | December 11, 2006 10:41 AM

I've never left comments before even though I have been coming to your site for ages. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about Tasha. I know how it is to lose one of your faithful friends. I'll be thinking about you and the other doggies 'cause they will miss her too I suspect.

Posted by: Kristi Wimmer | December 11, 2006 03:28 PM

I just wanted to tell you how sorry i am for the loss of your girl Tasha. We have 2 doxies and I do not know what I would do without them. These dogs have so much personality they almost seem human. (They think they are human!!!) I hugged my two boys and thought about you.

Many hugs and doxie kisses from "the Boys"
Champ and Smokey

Posted by: Dea | December 12, 2006 04:30 PM

OMG I just found your blog. You are so funny.

Two weeks ago I got two 9 wk old daschund puppies. And so it begins!

I so relate to your blogs... and Ive only known them for two weeks. You are such an amazing storyteller and Ive been telling everyone I know how funny you are. Referring them to your blog etc...

Posted by: Greer | December 14, 2006 03:09 AM

One word on sequels: "Aliens."

Posted by: Belinda | December 18, 2006 06:19 PM

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