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Jack! Necklace! Elvis! Bail!

March 09, 2006

Or, in other words: Entry With No Theme, Kind Of. Have fun!

Ways I Have Celebrated My Birthday So Far:

1. Two episodes of 24, featuring the 24 Drinking Game, in which you are required to drink whenever the words "profile", "protocol", or "satellite" are uttered. We have drinking games for most shows that we watch, but the 24 drinking game is somehow the most satisfying. This week we got a double hit when someone asked about "satellite protocols," and the entire room shuddered in collective happiness.

Other good 24 drinking words include "perimeter", "hostile", and "tactical." Or, if you would like to die of alcohol poisoning, you can just go with "Jack." Your liver may never forgive you.

2. Enjoyed (by "enjoyed" I mean "personally ate most of") two cakes, including one that is from Baskin Robbins, and is therefore made of ice cream, which is just like having cake made of rainbows and unicorns, because honestly. Is there anything better than ice cream cake? Nope.

3. Received some really truly lovely gifts, including a gorgeous silk and pearl necklace from Dukay, who picked it out all by himself and it just makes me want to snuggle up to him and kiss him all about the head and shoulders because, aww!

Sadly, this is the best picture I have of it. Sadly, in this picture, I look kind of...uh, high. I'm not. I might be drunk, though. It was my birthday party! It was required.

Aw, Funyuns, man. That's what I want for my birthday. Some Funyuns.

See how pretty that necklace is? It's all deconstructed and modern. I like things that are deconstructed and modern. (My fondness for things deconstructed and modern once led me to wear a skirt inside out for approximately four hours before realizing that: oh. Skirt's inside out. But during those four hours, I got about a million compliments on the skirt, and nobody even noticed, because that is just how much I tend to like things that are deconstructed and modern. Lesson being: apparently, my usual wardrobe is so peculiar that people fail to notice when I do things like wearing inside-out skirts.) So, uh, anyway, that was...neither here nor there. What I am getting to, people, is that he did good. Also, he's cute. Also, retelling that skirt story made me start to worry that maybe I dress like a homeless person. Or an Olsen Twin. Either way, I should probably examine that, don't you think? And maybe --- oh.


5. Drank pretty much all of the wine contained in the city of Atlanta (see above picture). Was hugged on by many adorable friends and family, and generally, have felt very loved and special for days.

So, it has all been fun. So far, it has been fun. That may change this evening, however, because this evening, I am going to a bachelor party. People, let me be straight with you: that makes me scared. I have never been to a bachelor party, but possibly some of y'all remember my birthday-at-a-stripclub experience from several years ago? If you recall (and I do)(vividly), I somehow became separated from my shirt and that was...bad, and then said shirt was thrown into the crowd, and that was the moment in which I remembered, with vivid terror, that I had not actually worn a bra that night, and pretty much every man I knew was sitting in the audience, jaws hanging open, and eyes big as dinner plates.

So, bearing this history in mind, when plans were being made for this particular bachelor party, Dukay had some suggestions.

"Wear a bra," said Dukay.

"I will be wearing FIVE bras," I informed him. "And three pairs of pants. And galoshes. And rubber gloves. And a trench coat. And a chastity belt. And a muumuu. And a ski mask."

And, this is not all. In addition to Bachelor Party, I have this weekend to look forward to. This weekend, a bunch of us are going up to the lakehouse to once again celebrate my birthday, this time by going to an Elvis impersonator. Yes. I kind of don't think I will need to wear five bras for that, but I might keep the muumuu, because everything that can be eaten at the Elvis Impersonator's restaurant is deep fried. Like, twice. It's refried deep fried. The entire restaurant is bathed in a crunchy golden glow, and arteries as far away as Atlanta get cloggy when they think upon the Lantern Inn. Naturally, however, this is the sort of food that I love, so I fail to see the problem. I don't need arteries! I just need to eat some more popcorn shrimp and not be encumbered by things like "waistbands."

So, this is all the excitement, currently. I will report back shortly and tell all y'all about what kind of trouble we stir up. In the meantime, though, here's a really cute picture of Mister Dukay and my pretty necklace:

Who, us? We've been helping old ladies cross the street all day. Next, we're going to watch Touched By An Angel!

Don't we look wholesome? Don't we look well-behaved? Please remember how angelic we look right now. Because tomorrow, we may be calling you. And we might need borrow some bail money.

Posted by doxie in General Whining | permalink


Cute! Cute! Cute!

Happy belated birthday -- enjoy your ongoing celebrations, and your popcorn shrimP!

Posted by: canknitian | March 9, 2006 05:43 PM

Weeee! And another good 24 drinking game word: "American/U.S. soil"

Posted by: New Jan Brady | March 9, 2006 05:46 PM

Awwww! And happy birthday to you! I'm sure the public at large is disappointed that you will not be AGAIN showing your boobs at the bachelor party, but Leigh, if there is one person who can wear five bras, a chastity belt and a partridge in a pear tree, and STILL manage to show her boobs, that person is you. So, have a good time. And be sure the bras are suitably festive in character and hue.

Posted by: Gretchen | March 9, 2006 06:09 PM

Pretty pretty necklace!!! Pretty pretty birthday girl!

Posted by: missbanshee | March 9, 2006 06:36 PM

You look gorgeous! Happy birthday.

Posted by: karenology | March 9, 2006 06:41 PM

Ooh, that IS a pretty necklace! And how lovely you look in your pictures!

I have an idea. You must wear the necklace to the bachelor party! Then there is no way you can become separated from your shirt because you could not get your shirt off OVER your necklace. Unless you took your necklace off. So all you must remember, through every drink, is this: DON'T TAKE NECKLACE OFF. Ergo, it will follow that the shirt will not come off either!

I should be on 24 with this kind of logic. We could drink when I said "ergo."

Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires | March 9, 2006 06:55 PM

Happy belated birthday! You know, you are so very pretty. And thin. And you talk about eating refried, fried goods and drinking wine like water and yet you remain thin. You are also extremely funny.

I should hate you for this but you are so charming in your posts and you once said that you talk like you write so I cannot. Especially because you seem to find yourself in predicaments I thought only happened to me. I like that about you. So happy belated birthday again you wonderful, hilarious girl.

Posted by: S. Faolan Wolf | March 9, 2006 07:36 PM

Sweet necklace! I suppose Just Joe thinks that Fish don't wear jewelry. We do, really, we're just really picky about it. So instead Fish gets books. Lots of books. Which one cannot wear. Usually. Unless one has been drinking the 24 game, I suppose.

Happy times, and I'll go your bail. It'll cost you some jewelry though. Let Dukay pick it out for me. He can give JJ lessons.

Posted by: Miss Fish | March 9, 2006 07:38 PM

And a very happy belated birthday, Miss Doxie! Love the necklace, Dukay did good. :-)

Posted by: Peyton | March 9, 2006 07:41 PM

I wish I still had birthdays like that. Last year, I told my husband that the past seven years of our scrapbooks have included pages upon pages of pictures of the birthday boy/girl. Not just our kids, but hubby, too. My own birthday scrapbook pages? Include the card. And...that's it.

Sad, ain't it? Thing is, the world would know it needed more pictures of me if I looked like you. I don't, but I'm not terribly hideous. I think the world needs more pictures of me, don't you?

Geez, that's a rambling commentary. Sorry. I've been stressed out of late. Hey, can I borrow the necklace? ;)

Posted by: TRACY IN HOUSTON | March 9, 2006 09:23 PM

No question that Elvis himself would embrace the deep fried tribute of the Lantern Inn. On the Graceland tour (yes), I learned that the King requested and ate meatloaf for dinner for six months straight. What a champ!

Posted by: Vaguely Urban | March 9, 2006 09:48 PM

Dukay has got some EXCELLENT taste!

*sigh* Doxie, you make me want to move down to Atlanta and be your neighbor.

oh..crazy and stalkerish? umm...sorry.

Posted by: Kathryn | March 9, 2006 09:56 PM

Happe Birthday! My favorite drinking game is the America's Next Top Model drinking game. You only need to drink anytime someone says "fierce". You will be hammered. (You can add in Miss Jay, and anytime Tyra talks about her 5head or adversity)

Have fun w/ Elvis - I recently, and by that I mean January, saw about 20 in a competition. My fave was drunk elvis karate kicking across the stage.

Posted by: Suz | March 9, 2006 10:41 PM

Happe Birthday! My favorite drinking game is the America's Next Top Model drinking game. You only need to drink anytime someone says "fierce". You will be hammered. (You can add in Miss Jay, and anytime Tyra talks about her 5head or adversity)

Have fun w/ Elvis - I recently, and by that I mean January, saw about 20 in a competition. My fave was drunk elvis karate kicking across the stage.

Posted by: Suz | March 9, 2006 10:41 PM

Touched by Angels?...hmmph...not bloody likely..Touched by Keifer?...now yer talkin'!

That IS a very pretty deconstructed necklace, but is Dukay's shirt on wrong-side out in that picture?

Made ya look.

Enjoy your birthday, you look Doxie Mahvelous!

There enough dissociative rambling from me tonight.

Posted by: WickedFun | March 10, 2006 12:40 AM

c'mon! You make a link fest for your anniversary and you don't put a single little link to the bachelor party experience? You are forcing me to go through your archives all stalker-like.

Posted by: z. | March 10, 2006 01:25 AM

BAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you ever get your shirt back? Or did you just flee?

Posted by: Catherine | March 10, 2006 07:06 AM

I have got to start: A) watching 24 and B) drinking.

I feel like I'm missing out on a little slice of Americana at this point.

Does anyone have the entire first season on DVD that they can loan to a complete stranger from the internet? I eagerly await all the offers I just know I'm going to get(takes a moment to add 'delusional' to my personal list of foibles).

Anyway, Miss Doxie, here's hoping you get to keep your shirt on. And if not, here's hoping it makes a hell of a funny story!

Posted by: Contrary | March 10, 2006 07:24 AM

What a great necklace! And you are just lovely, Miss Doxie! Glad you had a wonderful celebration.


Posted by: Lauren's godmommy | March 10, 2006 08:24 AM

Happy Birthday Doxie! That's a gorgeous necklace - Dukay should give jewelry buying lessons as a side job.
And, how DID you get your shirt back at the strip club experience?

Posted by: Rebecca | March 10, 2006 09:44 AM

Happy birthday, Leigh, and many more. What did the dogs get you - doggie logs and barfies? Lol. That 's what I'd get from mine.

I wouldn't be too worried about that shirt if I were you. All the ladies 28 and under will have to take theirs off first, if you get my drift. Soon it will not even be a thought, because you will be 30. It's inevitable. It's gravity. It's life. It's not meant to be mean.

Posted by: Daffy | March 10, 2006 10:01 AM

Miss Doxie - have a great celebration this weekend for your on-going birthday fiesta! I fully support that a birthday celebration should last longer than one day! In fact in our house - it is mandated! Consume much alcohol and give us funny Doxieness about bachelor party and lakehouse activities. One question - are the dogs (namely Bo) going to the Lakehouse - as that would be one helluva post - Drunk Doxie, birthday, bachelor party and Bo. Bring on the chuckles from Doxieland!

Posted by: Diane | March 10, 2006 10:03 AM

Beautiful necklace - Dukay did GOOD. Cute, cute pictures - you're both adorable. More Elvis impersonator stories from the Lantern Inn? I am *quivering* with excitement!!!

Posted by: catherino | March 10, 2006 10:07 AM

I too would like to hate you for eating deep fried foods and entire ice cream cakes and still being skinny, but it is hard to hate someone who is so damn funny. Thanks for all the embarassing moments where I'm sitting at my desk laughing to myself like a bloody fool. I have just read your entire site back to '03 and haven't stopped laughing. Please write more asap or I may have to go back to doing actual work, and how is that fun? Happy birthday from one semi-alcoholic attempted grown-up to another.

Posted by: Shoejunkie | March 10, 2006 10:57 AM

Sounds like an awesome birthday, um, week? The necklace is gorgeous. Dukay did a great job picking it out. Have a fun weekend and good luck with all those layers!

Posted by: Jessie | March 10, 2006 11:22 AM

Love the necklace! And that dress is a perfect way to show it off. Gorgeous, all around.

Posted by: Polichick | March 10, 2006 12:02 PM

SO ARE YOU HUNGOVER?! DOES IT HURT YOUR HEAD WHEN I TYPE ALL IN CAPS? If you're not hungover, then I simply must hate you because talent, beauty, and purty necklaces abound! Happy belated birthday. Good luck keeping your clothes on at the Bachelor Party. Will Andrew Firestone be there? My clothes would so be OFF if he were there.

Posted by: Shano | March 10, 2006 12:31 PM

Missdoxie[dot]com, Happy Birthday!
That really is a cute cute necklace and I must show my husband because he never-ever buys me jewellery without running it past me first no matter how much I scream about ruining surprises.

Posted by: SarahRose | March 10, 2006 01:53 PM

You are too adorable. I'm so glad that you're having a happy birthday week. Is Bo jealous that no one is buying him presents? You might want to pick something up for him on the way home from work.

Posted by: Sheryl | March 10, 2006 02:08 PM

As my friends would say, "Heart!" I love days when there's a new Doxie story to read.

That being said, I hope that your weekend birthday celebration does not result in any damages to Bo, your toes, or that purty necklace, no matter how funny the story would be! Happy Birthday Leigh!

Posted by: Liz | March 10, 2006 04:03 PM

You look Beautiful dear Doxie! And very damn skinny you skinny ho:) Happy birthday to you and yor teeny tiny arms. No i'm not jealous, why?

Posted by: Bethnay | March 10, 2006 06:01 PM

Stunning necklace!

Know what would have been a better birthday present from Dukay? The damn story of how you met already for chrissakes.

OK, that would be not for you but for me. Semantics...

Oh, and if we're giving me gifts, I would also like some of the jewelry.

Oh, right...not MY birthday. YOUR birthday! Happy birthday!!

Posted by: fluttergirl | March 10, 2006 06:15 PM

You are so not 29. I refuse to believe it. In that picture you look like you are 22. And I'm around 22-year-olds all the damn time. So I know.

Posted by: Teacher Lady | March 11, 2006 03:54 PM

I want a Dukay..NOW..ok, not necessarily your Dukay but one of similar tastes and proportions..what a gorgeous necklace, and you look simply fabulous sporting it..

Happy Birthday!!

Posted by: copzgirl | March 11, 2006 04:57 PM

the necklace and dukay are very cute indeed. and the inside-out skirt thing was hysterical - but with all those compliments, you must have just worn it inside-out from then on, right? it was meant to be!

i never wore a skirt inside out, but once i went to work with a new skirt that still had the security tag thingie on it. did i mention it was my first day? and the tag was discovered by my new boss? who must have thought OMG, i hired a klepto?

yeah... no compliments there. :-) enjoy the wine and fried food!

Posted by: Ali G | March 11, 2006 08:57 PM

Happy belated birthday! (I'm so busy with the Q-course or else you'd have heard from me sooner!)

Try adding every time Jack exclaims the word "NO!" - just before solving a minicrisis with quick thinking and special forces skills - to your drinking game list for next Monday. And drink every time he opens an automatic knife for the purpose of silently killing a bad guy. Oh, you'll be so trashed.

Posted by: Kiefer Twin | March 11, 2006 11:54 PM

so how do you get boys to buy you perfect gifts? my husband is "gift-challenged" and needs some coaching other than me going "I want this."

Posted by: jenn | March 12, 2006 02:22 PM

You are gorgeous as always! Happy belated birthday! Enjoy your fried stuff.

Posted by: Trance | March 12, 2006 09:13 PM

Delurking to wish you a very happy birthday! I have been reading your posts for awhile, but as I am neither witty nor amusing, never posted a comment because they could never hold a candle to your entries.
But your birthday is a special occasion, so here I am.
Where is the Lantern Inn? I also live in Atlanta, and happen to love refried fried foods, so hook a girl up!

Posted by: nicole | March 13, 2006 09:26 AM

Happy Birthday Miss.Doxie. Love the necklace!

Posted by: Brighton | March 13, 2006 02:56 PM

Happy birthday! This is my first visit to your site, but I am totally loving it thus far. I hope your birthday was wonderful!

P.S. You are SO PRETTY!

Posted by: Meggan | March 14, 2006 12:50 AM

That drinking game is a great idea. I'll have to figure one out for Lost.

Posted by: Angel | March 14, 2006 03:52 PM

Themes shmeems. I am so glad you are back! You are so funny. You made my night!

Posted by: Jen | March 14, 2006 06:14 PM

Happy Belated Birthday!!!!

Hope ya have fun at the bachelor party... last time I was involved with guys, parties, alcohol and bras, there was whipped cream involved and some serious memory loss the morning after!

(No jail though!)

x x x

Posted by: Miss Ding | March 14, 2006 06:56 PM

Did you know I am your publicist? Seriously, I can't tell you the number of people that I send to your blog. How is Bo doing?

Posted by: jenn | March 14, 2006 11:46 PM

You are a freaking HOOT! (and you HAVE to live in the South to get away with saying HOOT!) Hope you had a fab birthday.

Posted by: Lizzie P | March 15, 2006 10:09 AM

Wear that necklace in good health. He did a great job picking it out for you!

Posted by: Coleen | March 15, 2006 11:48 AM

Happy (belated)birthday! I have been reading for a couple of weeks now, so I thought I would leave a comment. And let you know, that if I get fired, it is YOUR fault and I will be moving into your home with the blue table that doesn't match. And why would I get fired? Because everytime I read your blog I laugh loudly and often, sometimes even snorting, and this is not good when you are trying to be secretive and pretending that you are doing actual work. So anyways, I'm coming to you once my boss gets tired of my obnoxious laughing. Please don't let anyone poo on me!
Thanks for making my days a little brighter!!

Posted by: D | March 15, 2006 04:00 PM

I have no idea how I found your blog, but I was just reading Bo's misadventures at the first of the year. I almost wet myself.........as the owner (excuse, me) as the ownee of two dachshunds, and one dearly departed dachshund, you made my day!
Ours are currently suffering from the dreaded squirts, because they ate something, which is currently undetermined.........
Happy Birthday, too - if you are owned by a dachshund like Bo, you are okay with me......

Posted by: christine | March 16, 2006 02:25 PM


Miss Doxie, you are TOO adorable! I read your 24 drinking game rules to my husband right before this weeks' episode. We then proceeded to imbibe way, way to much wine and champagne. Thanks for spreading the love around!

Posted by: Meepers | March 16, 2006 07:05 PM

Ah, you so crack me up! I want to be just like you when I grow up! wait...I'm older then you....CRAPPERS! Have a great bday anyways! (you might however have to fine me for excessive use of exclamation marks)

Posted by: Kara | March 16, 2006 07:11 PM

Happy belated birthday! I have been reading your blog for several years now and think you are one of the funniest people that writes online. If you're up for a good dirty martini or whatever email me back. Kate

Posted by: Kate | March 19, 2006 01:54 AM

Happy very belated b-day!

Since you watch Family Guy I know you will appreciate this

"now Timmy, can you show me on this doll, exactly where the angel touched you?"

Watch out for those dirty, dirty molesting angels and keep drinking!

Posted by: Mandy | March 20, 2006 01:06 PM

Party on! Next, try the classic "Saved By The Bell" drinking game....Everytime anyone says "What am I gonna do", "Screech!", or "Here comes Belding." For extra drunkenness, add "Kapowski."

Well done. I'm adding your game to my repertoire.

Posted by: andy | March 21, 2006 12:38 PM

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