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What All That Education Got Me

July 28, 2005

Okay, well. I feel compelled to write again (I know! So quick like!) because first of all, my spam? Really entertaining. Funny to me. I'm not even deleting it. Since when is "penis enlargement" coming up with witticisms? Why does "penis enlargement" kind of think nobody cares about me? O, penis enlargement, you're so clever, but why are you trying to make me feel bad about myself? You are penis enlargement! I, personally, am happy with the sizes of my body parts! Let's not project our little insecurities onto others. TSK TSK.

And, the second reason is a spoily one, because I finally read the Harry Potter book (I say "finally" as if this took, like, months and months, when in reality, it was, what...two days after it published? Hi. Dork) and then everyone had to Deal With Me, and now I feel compelled to talk about it. And I will feel compelled to talk about it, with anyone who listens, until approximately Saturday. Then I will cease to care.

I had a conversation with Ziz about the book last night, and it was pretty funny (well...funny to us) and involved many of our various theories, and so I thought I'd pass it along to y'all. BUT FIRST, I MUST WARN YOU, with ALL OF MY WARNY POWERS, that I am about to spoil the everloving HELL out of that book. Oh, yes. I will name names. So if you haven't read it? GO. GO AWAY. Read this entry ANOTHER DAY. I will even post something interesting for you to look at instead. Look at these! Aren't those freaky? Now scram. It is for your OWN GOOD, it hurts me more than it hurts you, etc.

Okay? Well, you have been warned. Because here we go.

Ring Ring.

Self: Hello?

Ziz: Hi! What's u-


Ziz: Read? WHAT? WHO?


Ziz: Whoa. Uh, yeah. I finished it the first day. Are you just now done?

Self: Listen, I try to have a social life. Nerd.

Ziz: Uh, except, you are, apparently, ATTACKING people and trying to get them to discuss Harry Potter with you.

Self: Shut up, person-who-points-things-out-that-I-don't-want-pointed-out.

Ziz: That was...succinct. But yeah, I've read it. What do you want to discuss?

Self: Um. How...I don't know. Who do you think is cutest?

Ziz: THAT'S what you want to discuss?! Not, like, Dumbledore dying and Snape being bad -


Ziz: Sigh. Yes, he is.

Self: NOOOOO. He's totally, like, doing what he has to do, and I think he killed Dumbledore on Dumbledore's orders, just like how, you know, Harry would have killed Dumbledore on Dumbledore's orders, when he forced him to drink the yucky stuff and didn't know what the yucky stuff was going to do to him? And it totally could have killed him, and MAYBE IT EVEN KIND OF DID and Snape was just putting him out of his misery? And there were bodies and a boat and everything?

Ziz: Okay, deeeeeep breaths...

Self: Because Dumbledore's like, "Harry, you do what I say!" and Harry's all, "Yes, sir! I'm your man!" And Dumbledore's like, "Even if I'm like, crying and shit and ask you to do horribleness!" And Harry's like, "Got it!" And then Harry makes him drink the stuff that makes him dying, because Dumbledore told him to, just like DUMBLEDORE TOLD SNAPE he had to kill him, and anyway Dumbledore KNEW he was going to die in this book, and that's why in the beginning Harry's all, "Do I need to put my invisible cloak thingy on?" and Dumbledore's all, "Oh HELL no, because you're with me," and then when Harry's all swimming with Dumbledore and he's like, "Hold on, Dumble! Don't fret!" and Dumbledore's like, "I'm not, because I'm with you?" See what they did there, with the passing of the torch and the coming full-circle and O THE HEAVY MEANING IN A CHILDREN'S BOOK?

Ziz: Weren't you once...smart? Like when you were an English literature major that time? And...and this is how you now analyze books?

Self: I fail to see your point.

Ziz: "Hold on, Dumble"? "Don't fret"?

Self: I may be...paraphrasing. Some.

Ziz: Sigh. Anyway, I think I follow you, but that does not mean that you are, in any way, correct.

Self: See, Snape and Harry have this big, like, PARALLEL thing going on.

Ziz: In which they are both played by hot actors?

Self: ...there is also that, yes.

Ziz: But Draco is way hotter.

Self: Know who I want to be? Draco's mom.

Ziz: Except for the evil bitch part?

Self: Or I want to be Fleur.

Ziz: Except for the whiny bitch part?

Self: Huh. Yeah, I guess the hot women aren't all that...nice.

Ziz: Oh, there's nothing wrong with a little bitchiness. I kind of want to be Tonks, though, for the hair thing.

Self: I keep forgetting who Tonks is. Who...oh, yeah.

Ziz: You forgot Tonks? Hi, major character. Do you want me to remind you of who Ron is?

Self: No, it's just that there are so many characters, and I keep forgetting who is who, and-

Ziz: I KNOW! I can't ever remember Mu...Mublummbins. Mulbinnins. Mungumbers.

Self: YES! Like him. Mundsomething! I can't ever remember him either. I need, like, a directory.

Ziz: That man does nothing for me. I'm sure he's horribly important and will end up being Dumbledore's long lost son.

Self: Or it will turn out that he is actually our own father.

Ziz: That is not...terribly likely.

Self: Oh, here we go again, with the not-confusing-fictional-characters-with-real-life business.

Ziz: Well, we have already had this discussion as it relates to the carrying around of a pressure cooker.

Self: Sigh.

Ziz: And also as to how it relates to the cast of 24, and how Kiefer is not, in actuality, a big secret government agent.


Ziz: Yes, I do. Kiefer Sutherland is not a secret agent.

Self: SHUT UP.

Ziz: Sorry. Anyway. Do you have any other...uh, "brilliant" Harry Potter theories?

Self: Not really.

Ziz: Well, me either.

Self: Then I guess we have nothing to talk about.

Ziz: Yes. It's like we're strangers now.

Self: Strangers who disagree on the evilness of Snape.

Ziz: And yet, not on his dark and moody hotness.

Self: Right. Thank God for common ground!

And so on. You know how we get. We may have also discussed, like, real people. Actual events. Shit like that.

BUT, because most of my friends have STILL not finished the damn book, I encourage all of you to enlighten me with your own Harry Potter theories and whatnot, because again: for the next three days, I will be completely interested in this subject, until approximately Saturday when I will stop caring with a searing vengeance.

Until then: what did y'all think of the book? Do you think Snape is evil? And, most importantly, who in the everloving FUCK is this Mundusnfmnglumb guy?

So, comment away! Unless you are penis enlargement. Penis enlargement, you can go suck on an egg.

Posted by doxie in General Whining | permalink


Snape evil? I am hoping note.

My theory - Whatever happens in the next book the next series of four books will be Harry Potter hunting down the Horcruxes!!!!!!!!!!

I thought it was very neat to leave those hanging out there.

Posted by: lilbobo | July 28, 2005 10:56 AM

I have NOT read the book yet, because I am saving it for whiling away the hours of sitting on the couch endlessly breastfeeding during maternity leave, which will start sometime within the next two weeks, and preferably five minutes from now. But I am perverse, so I immediately hunted down everything spoilery I could find, so I know about Dumble ("Dead as a Dumbledore-nail!" Hee! I said that about Richard Harris, last year!) and about Snape and about Harry and Ginny (the actress who plays her in the movies isn't cute enough for Harry, but anyway).

Me? I'm hot for Rupert Grint. And yes, I'm totally old enough to be his mom, or even his grandma if we lived in the Ozarks.

Snape is an asshole, but he's not evil. That is the bottom line. Oh, wait . . . you were looking for brilliant theories about the book? Sorry. Perhaps I should have just kept to the topic of penis enlargement.

Posted by: Gretchen C. | July 28, 2005 11:04 AM

Oh, and I should mention that conversations with Ziz are always Miss Doxie "Best Of" material. You rock, Leigh, but you and Ziz together rock exponentially.

Posted by: Gretchen C. | July 28, 2005 11:07 AM

Book 6 was *such* an improvement over 5, can I get some cheers for the less-whiny and angsty Harry? Thank you.

I'm still not sure on the whole Snape is evil thing. I agree he's got major issues and needs some serious therapy but I'm not sure he's completely bad. In fact, the Unbreakable Vow probably had more to do with the whole killing of Dumbledore issue than his inherent good- or evil-ness. I think JKR is leaving the door open to the possibility of Snape's final redemption.

But in no way is Snape hot. Nuh uh. Too greasy and whiny. Lucious on the other hand...

Posted by: Jenn | July 28, 2005 11:13 AM

It took me a week to finish because guess what? Not that hard to put down! Nothing at all happened until around page 500!

I totally buy your Snape theory because every book it seemed obvious that he was evil and then in the end turned out not to be. It's just too obvious for him to, indeed, be evil. Think this was evidenced in the scene where he doesn't kill or hurt Harry, just blocks his spells and seems sort of wearily exhausted by him.

I went to sleep one night just after reading the scene where Dumbledore tells Harry about the 7 Horcruxes. Later that night, as my cat was walking around our heads and generally making it tough to sleep (my trick: always play dead, then he learns to bug my husband instead of me), my husband said maybe he was hungry and it has been reported that I replied in my sleep, oh no, he won't stop until he has found all seven pieces...

Posted by: Galloping Cat | July 28, 2005 11:28 AM

Snape is totally not evil. I think that as soon as he made the unbreakable vow with Narcissa, he told Dumbledore the short and the skinny, and Dumbledore told Snape that under no circumstances was Draco to be the one to kill him, and Snape was to ensure that he(Snape) survives beacuse the only way Harry will be able to take Voldy out is to have an agent on the inside.

Posted by: rai | July 28, 2005 11:30 AM

Delurking because I can't not reply to this. O, beautiful icon that is Harry Potter, how do I love thee? I will now proceed to TOTALLY trump your nerdiness.

Anyway. I also believe Snape to be un-evil. You have elaborated wonderfully on the myriad reasons why, so I will stop there with that. I also think that Snape was in love with Lily, which might explain why Voldemort offered to spare her, and also why Snape might have turned back to the good side when she refused and Voldemort offed her. There are lots of other reasons why I think this, but I'll spare you the I've-spent-way-too-much-time-thinking-about-this logic.

Mundungus (if that's who you're asking about) is a member of the Order. IIRC, he was featured as the Order's black sheep in the 5th book. He got arrested for trying to break into the Ministry, I think? I'm not sure. BUT! That part about Harry running into him is going to be important, I think, in the R.A.B. identification process. Short version of my (widely believed by others) theory: RAB is Regulas Black, Sirius' brother, and Harry et. al. came across the locket in OotP, when they were cleaning out closets. Something about a "silver locket which none of them could open." And probably Mundungus has stolen and now peddled the locket, hence JKR's showing us the scene with Mundungus and his stolen goods in HBP.

And now I'll shut up. Love, love, LOVE your writing, by the way. You kill me.

Posted by: crissy | July 28, 2005 11:34 AM

excellent post, excellent comments, and, excellent theory crissy.

but, to address rai's comment: if snape did come clean to dumbledore about the unbreakable vow and dumbledore worked it into his plan, as suggested, then WHY DIDN'T HE TELL HARRY!?

I mean COME ON. It's been HOW MANY BOOKS with the teachers and grown ups KEEPING THEIR DAMN MOUTHS SHUT about the whole evil plots that are going on and the good plots going on to counteract them and now, NOW, Dumbledore just decides to OPEN UP TO HARRY AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING HE's DOING *BEFORE* HE DOES IT?

How does that make any sense? five books of grownups saying "you're too young for this" while the kids say "ooh, look at all the cool info we've eavesdropped on, let's draw our own WRONG conclusions and act on them and then GET LUCKY and save the day anyway"

then bam FRANK AND HONEST DISCUSSIONS!? where the hell did that come from!?!?!!

anyway, yeah, I bet it'll turn out Snape's not evil but it was the curse, even though I really am hoping it turns out Snape really is evil, because wouldn't that be a juicy double blind? yes.


Posted by: Tom | July 28, 2005 11:54 AM

All I want is for Neville to get in on some hot snogging action. Is that too much to ask??

Go Neville!

Posted by: Coleen | July 28, 2005 11:59 AM

I think that Snape is evil whether Dumbledore asked him to kill him or not. Why does he always have to be such a jerk to Harry? He's petty and childish and immature and abusing his power position as a teacher. And even if Dumbledore DID tell him to kill him, I will never forgive Snape for it ever anyway, so it doesn't matter.

Posted by: Erin | July 28, 2005 12:09 PM

Hey Miss Doxie! First time commenter here. I totally LOVE your blog. You are the funniest person EVER! :)

Now on to Harry Potter. Unfortunately, towards the beginning of the book I figured out Dumbledore would die so it ruined it for me. A lot of people are wondering whether his death is final. I'm sure it is.

Snape is GOOD. I'd be willing to be a million dollars on it. That second chapter is interesting making you think he's more in league with the Death Eaters then the Order. But at the same time, Bellatrix, one of Voldie's most loyal followers, doesn't trust him. Which seems like a big tip off.
Like you said it sounds like it's Dumbledore's plan. He finds out that Draco is being called upon to kill him for Voldy. Dumbledore does NOT want Draco to become a killer, or he'll lose him forever to the "dark side". He also wants to keep Snape as a double agent-- by making that pact, Snape seems to prove once and for all that he's on the side of the Death Eaters-- unless Dumbledore wanted it that way. It keeps Snape in the confidence of the Death Eaters and Voldy, so that he can actually be useful, bringing information to the Order. And by vowing to help Draco, he also erases Death Eaters doubts, because he makes a life-binding pact.

Remember the argument between Dumbledore and Snape? Sounds like it could be about Dumbledore making Snape agree to kill him (dumbledore) if it finally came to that. Snape was pissed when Harry called him a coward, because killing Dumbledore was one of the hardest things he had to do. When Dumbledore was begging "Please, Severus," I think he was actually asking him to kill him, so that Draco wouldn't have to. It was probably inevitable that D would be killed in his condition anyway, and better it not be done by Draco or the other Death Eaters. Also, when Harry was trying to attack Snape with all those spells, and Snape kept telling him he'd be no match unless he learned to do spells in his head. The way he kept saying it, it was almost like Snape was teaching Harry that that's what he needs to do to be more effective. If Snape was really "evil"-- I don't think you would tell an enemy how to do better against you.

Another theory - Snape WAS in league with the Death Eaters for sure, back when he told Voldy the prophesy. I think he talked to Voldy and wanted him to kill James (whom he hated) and Harry (bc of the prophesy), but told him to spare Lily (remember how it kept mentioning in book 6 that Lily had a choice to save herself, but chose to die protecting Harry- as almost any mother would do?) My theory is that Snape was in love with Harry's mother from their school days. In those flashbacks from other books- she was always civil to Snape and told James and his friends they were jerks for picking on him. Also- you learn in Book 6 that Lily was a wiz at potions, just like Snape (which is why the new potions professor wasn't surprised Harry was doing so well). So they also had that in common. I think Snape hoped that when her family was killed, he'd be there, waiting in the sidelines to comfort her. But then when she gave her life to save Harry, he was devastated and vowed to protect Harry, since Lily gave her life to save her son.

***I can't take any credit for the Snape theories. My friend (super smart literature/journalism major) convinced me with that. I'm just passing it along.***

:) :)

Posted by: Foxy | July 28, 2005 12:20 PM

Sirius Black is the hot one. And Gary Oldman playing him is hot, too.

I sound like freakin' Paris Hilton.

Anyway, with the whole Sirius is hot thing, I had hardly noticed anyone else hot in the boooks or movies at all. I'll have to look again.

And next time, CALL ME. My little nerdy ass has finished the book at 2PM on July 16th.

Posted by: Bonanza Jellybean | July 28, 2005 12:27 PM

DAMN are y'all good. This is entertaining me to no end. I love smart people.

And, I must join in on the word to fucking Harry stopping with the fucking hollering and whining, EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY, which is saying a lot considering that, me? Kind of a whiner, myself. And even I was fed the heck up.

I like the snape loves Lily theory. I also like the RAB being Sirius' brother and the hidden locket and the stealy Mundspoirpolsdij.

Y'all do more!

Posted by: Doxie | July 28, 2005 12:29 PM

Okay, I don't read Harry Potter. I have three young children, so the most reading I've done lately was the assembly instructions for a cheap plastic toy.

HOWEVER. I must know...have you gone to IKEA yet?

Posted by: LadyBug | July 28, 2005 01:27 PM

You left out the most important part...how cute were harry and ginny and how stupid-boy-of-Harry was it to dump her for a semi-noble-but-stupid-as-hell reason?

Also - I like the "snape is good" theory because it means Dumbledore didn't mistake his trust, but I just dont know if it flies...I JUST DONT KNOW...and its killing me.

But I'm totally with you on the whole "passing the torch" scene, and we will NOT discuss how much I cried there.

And how much did you love that Fleur was all "I'm pretty enough for BOTH of us!" - I loved that.

ANd MrZ is only halfway through and its KILLING me, but last night? He said "Who the hell is Mundungus?"

Posted by: Zoot | July 28, 2005 01:30 PM

I am so behind the times thank you all for catching me up- one day I will have to sit and read book 5 and book 6 - it's sad I was so on top and then I went back to school and now I am so not on top :-( thanks Miss doxie for another great day :-) I love your writing I have even gotten others to love it :-)

Posted by: hi | July 28, 2005 01:31 PM

I didn't read the other comments yet, but you are so right on the money with the Snape thing. He had to go deep undercover.

Posted by: Sheryl | July 28, 2005 01:42 PM

My theories before the book? Hagrid = Half-blood Prince. Dumbledore would live until sometime in book 7. Neville would show up more than, like, twice. Obviously, my theories are not ones to take to the bank.

That being said, I concur with the NotEvil!Snape people, and the RAB = Regulus Black. My other theory, which will obviously be WRONG, is that Draco will somehow be redeemed. If Dumbledore knew that he was going to be killed by Draco or the Death Eaters on the rooftop, why insist Snape do the deed? The only thing I can think of is that he needed Snape to look convincing to the others, and he needs Draco for something else in Book 7. But, again, I am always wrong, so...yeah.

Posted by: E | July 28, 2005 02:07 PM

WOO WOO! This is me, cheering for Harry getting the hell out of is angsty, misunderstood teenager phase.

As much as I love Harry, why is that he can throw out these totally absurd theories, which he has absolutely no evidence to back up, and ALWAYS BE RIGHT!? Of course, because he's Harry. But honestly HP, BACK YOUR SHIT UP!

Posted by: courtney | July 28, 2005 02:23 PM

Since I am definitely in the top thousand or so Harry Potter nerds across the globe and have read all the books about five times, I don't really have any trouble remembering who Mundungus is...by the way, would anybody else be interested to learn that mundungus is a particularly smelly and unpleasant kind of tobacco?

I am going to jump on the Snape-is-not-evil bandwagon, just because it seems so obvious, and since when has JKR done the obvious thing? For that same reason, I kind of mistrust the RAB=Regulus Black theory, but really, who else could it be? It doesn't seem like fair play for it to be somebody we've never heard of at all (remember Nicolas Flamel and the chocolate frog card?), and I doubt JKR wants to bring in a bunch of totally new characters in the last book...

I'm also liking the Snape-Lily unrequited love theory...it ties several things together nicely.

I, too, rejoiced at the lack of Harry-whininess compared to OotP, and I am definitely looking forward to the horcrux-hunt, but does anybody else think Harry is an idiot to quit school?

Luna's quidditch commentary was totally the highlight of the book.

Also, in terms of hotness, I don't think anybody can hold a candle to Emma Watson, even if I do feel like the world's biggest pervert saying so. Looking forward to Clemence Poesy in the next movie (Nov. 18th! Yeah!).

Posted by: Hannah | July 28, 2005 02:44 PM

I didn't read anyone else's theories because I'm too anxious to tell you mine, because you asked and it's hard to find people who are both a) finished with the book and b) willing to listen to my theories.

Okay, so. Snape = not evil. Clearly not. Remember that part at the end where Harry kept trying to hurt him, and he just deflected his curses without hurting him at all? Excuse about Voldemort wanting him left for his own was paltry and transparent. Clearly Voldemort wouldn't have minded if Snape put a little hex on Harry, but Snape didn't hurt him, because Snape is a good guy.

Also (and I might just be in denial here) Dumbledore = not totally dead. Oh, sure, he's dead somewhat, but did you catch the part where he tells Draco, "He can't kill you if you're already dead"? Also, why does Snape, when finding out there are Death Eaters in the castle, rush to find the ones who are about to kill Dumbledore, so that he can do it himself? Something special going on there. Also, the phoenix coming from the smoke at the funeral? And the Order being called the Order of the Phoenix? Maybe Dumbledore will be back in the next book, in some form. (But again, this could just be me in the throes of deep denial.)

I realize I sound manically optimistic, but I picked it up from the narration, which I thought was definitely more optimistic in this book. Even at the funeral, I didn't think Rowling's tone was as hopeless as it should have been if Dumbledore was dead. Clearly that's not proof of anything, but I'm just saying.

Gaaaaah, I can't believe we have to wait two more years to find out what happens!

Posted by: Elizabeth | July 28, 2005 03:00 PM

Hey Doxie, you could have asked/talked to me. I finished Harry Potter and I'd be HAPPY to discuss the in's and outs with ya. I've got no one else to go on about it with.... excecpt ZOOT! Oh, must tell Zoot. Yes in deedy DO!

But I still love ya babe!

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn | July 28, 2005 03:12 PM

I don't know. I think Snape has as much chance as being in love with Lily as Draco has with being in love with Hermione.

But RAB totally is Regulus. And I think Kreacher might have saved the locket.

But my awesome theories?

Dumbledore turned into a phoenix at the funeral.
Also, we'll be finally seeing some of his brother, Alforth (?) who is the bartender at Hog's Head. (Also, Dumbledore as we knew him is dead. But we still have his portrait in McGonagall's office. And I think he left a lot in the pensieve for Harry to discover)

But here's the big theory. As we know, there are 7 pieces to Voldy's soul. They are:

1. The part still in Voldy.
2. The ring (destroyed)
3. The diary (destroyed)
4. The Locket
5. The Cup
6. Nagini
7. Harry. Or maybe just his scar.

That's why Harry can see into Voldemort's mind. That's why Harry can speak parseltongue.

But of course, I also predicted that Hagrid would be the Half-Blood Prince, oh well.

Posted by: Jennie | July 28, 2005 03:22 PM

Ok.. y'all are big huge nerds.. but it's cute.. and I agree w/ Gretchen that your posts that include Ziz rock extra.. you f'n crack me up woman!

Posted by: Angel | July 28, 2005 03:30 PM

I loved the new book. I think it is my favorite after Prisoner of Azkaban.

I like your Snape was acting on orders theory, as I was shocked -- shocked I tell you -- when he killed Dumbledore.

Also, I didn't remember Mundugo-whoever either, and finally, I have to agree with Zoot that the whole Harry breaking up with Ginny to be noble thing was irritating. I'm hoping that Ginny is only pretending to go along with his plan.

Posted by: bad penguin | July 28, 2005 03:35 PM

I also agree that Snape is probably not evil. But here's my Dumbly-dore theory. I think he has a horxcrux too. He has one so that if he dies, he's not totally dead. That's why his hand won't heal. Because there are disadvantages of the soul not being intact. For this to be true, he needs to have killed someone though. Did he kill any of the Death Eaters?

Posted by: Rachel | July 28, 2005 03:57 PM

Okay, I couldn't read everyone else's comments 'cause there were too many.

Snape is not evil. I agree with your theories on Snape. He did it because he had to, and he and Dumbledore had agreed on it ahead of time.

I think that Dumbledore is definitely dead. Some people seem to think he's not really dead. I'm hoping that Harry will be able to use the Pensieve in the last book, and he will get access to some of Dumbledore's memories. That'd be a great way to keep Dumbledore in the book.

Ginny will be important in the next book because Harry needs *love* to win the battle against Voldemort.

Some people think Harry is a horcrux, but I don't think so. It's an intriguing theory though.

I think Snape will also be vital in the last book. He'll die and Harry will learn that Snape was "good" all along.

Anyway, just some random thoughts.

Posted by: Callie | July 28, 2005 04:05 PM

Two posts back to back, that is unusual. They must not be putting you to good use at the law offices, because as we can see your spending all of your time reading and theorizing about Hairy Potter!

When do you have time to read Harry Potter and the Half-Cocked Prince? Or is it the Half-Baked Plot? Or Harry Potter and the Halfway House? I can't remember.

Anyway, are ya'll serious with the comments? Maybe I need to read this series and see what all the fuss is about...off to Borders! (Is there a cliff notes?)

Posted by: Kiefer Twin | July 28, 2005 04:19 PM

Kiefer Twin. I know you were kidding, but there is a Spark Notes for Harry Potter.

Amazon keeps trying to recommend it to me.

Posted by: Jennie | July 28, 2005 04:26 PM

Ha! I totally agree with you on your theory re:Snape. I am the lone holdout among my friends, still having faith that he is not really evil, and more importantly, that Draco! can be redeemed because he obviously, clearly, wavered and is only evil because of his horrible parents and he's so misunderstood and guh!

P.S. Mundungus. I am totally convinced that he stole one of the horcruxes from the Black house, otherwise, what was the point of that?

Posted by: Gryph | July 28, 2005 04:28 PM

Ha! I totally agree with you on your theory re:Snape. I am the lone holdout among my friends, still having faith that he is not really evil, and more importantly, that Draco! can be redeemed because he obviously, clearly, wavered and is only evil because of his horrible parents and he's so misunderstood and guh!

P.S. Mundungus. I am totally convinced that he stole one of the horcruxes from the Black house, otherwise, what was the point of that?

Posted by: Gryph | July 28, 2005 04:30 PM

Thanks Jen, I'll check it out. Otherwise I'd probably end up referring to the story as Harry Potter and the Half-Read Book!

Posted by: Kiefer Twin | July 28, 2005 04:34 PM

I'm with you. Snape is not evil. He is hot and sexy. Maybe he is mean to Harry, but Snape is a teacher, for God's sake. And teachers sometimes hate students. Snape was acting on Dumbledore's orders, totally. And Draco is just a little brat who needs a spanking. But Harry? A dropout? I'm sure he has the noblest intentions, but I hope he doesn't end up pissing his life away down at the Three Broomsticks. Wait, am I really discussing this with people I don't even KNOW? Yes.

Thanks for writing, Miss Doxie.

Posted by: Meghan | July 28, 2005 04:47 PM

I'm a fan of the Regulus Black being RAB theory. There's also a theory out there about RAB being one of the guys who founded that shop in Knocturn Alley.

As for Snape, as much as I wish he was good (I think it's the only way I'll ever like Alan Rickman again), well, the facts side against him. Yes, Bellstrade doesn't trust him, but who in their right mind does? Yes, Dumbledore trusted him, but Dumbledore wasn't in his right mind. Voldy also trusts him (not gonna mention his state of mind), and he's an extremely accomplished Legilimen. As much as we all love Dumbledore, it has to be admitted that if he does have this skill, he doesn't use it on his staff(how else would Barty Crouch Jr. be able to pass as Moody or Quirrel host Voldy right under Dumbledore's nose?). Snape is more likely to have been able to fool Dumbledore than Voldy.

Posted by: Ish | July 28, 2005 04:50 PM

Snape? A very nasty specimen, but nevertheless on the side of good. (My feelings about book-Snape are distinctly less cordial than about Alan-Rickman-Snape, for reasons that surely are obvious.)

Book 6 was worlds better than Book 5. I second the opinion upthread that it's my favorite after "Prisoner of Azkaban."

I am way more excited about Lupin and Tonks than is normal.

Posted by: Cyd | July 28, 2005 05:09 PM

I want to believe that Snape is really evil, but I don't know. The other theories do make sense, but I hope he turns out to be an evil bastard. But I kind of want Malfoy to be good.

Side note: Is it just me that is bothered by the fact that, aside from knowing some Dark Arts Hoodoo, Harry isn't really the best wizard in town? I'd like to see his report card, because he doesn't seem to know too much during class.

More Neville!

Posted by: sockgirlie | July 28, 2005 05:15 PM

I feel so... validated in my utter dorkiness. Wonderful.

I agree with most of the theories here, Snape being good and all. I do believe Dunbledore is dead, and that through the portrait and pensieve he will continue to be a player in the final book.

I have to tell a kind of funny story here, though the subject matter is extremely sad. My coworker's sister lives in London, and she rides the subways a great deal. She wrote a long email to him and the rest of the family telling them that she was ok, but really devastated by everything going on. In an effort to get a smile out of her, and because he too is a dork, he wrote her back the following:

"I'm so relieved to know that you are ok, you've been in our thoughts and prayers. I was wondering if the Minister of Magic is working with the Prime Minister in order to unveal and apprehend those responsible for the bombings, and whether or not any are in Azkaban yet. Surely, He Who Must Not Be Named is behind this ultimately".

Posted by: Sabine | July 28, 2005 09:35 PM

1. Ziz: "Hold on, Dumble"? "Don't fret"?

Hee! This cracked me up. Many other parts did too, but now I definitely need to refer to Dumbledore as "Dumble" ALL THE TIME.

2. The RAB thing. Those are the initials of one of the doctors I am working for! Now the mystery is, why is Dr. Blosser stealing Horcruxes and leaving cryptic notes about it??

3. I was watching "Black Beauty" on TV tonight (I haven't seen it since I was 10, when I watched it EVERY SINGLE AFTERNOON, because man I loved that horse) and Professor Lupin bought Black Beauty!! I know my family thinks I've totally lost it when I start shouting things like that but, well.. yeah. It was exciting!

4. We got an IKEA catalog yesterday in the mail. OH MY GOODNESS. I WANT EVERYTHING. Have you seen all The Pretty? Maybe, just maybe I am going on Saturday. And I'll tell you how the Swedish meatballs and lingonberries are. :D

Posted by: Lauren | July 28, 2005 09:39 PM

wouldn't it be creepy if--going with the snape-in-love-with-lily theories, which seem eerily on to something--harry turned out actually be SPAWN OF SNAPE? like, snape threw down some kinda love potion #9 on lily and they did the nasty, with lily none the wiser. yeah, yeah, i know that harry looks "just like his dad" but admit it, it would make for some damn fine reading if harry was the love-potion-child of severus.

i mean, imagine explaining THAT to a bunch of 9-year-olds who are all just super chuffed that they're reading "chapter books."

"Mommy, what's 'illegitimate'?"

(not related to the books, per se, but last summer i was in london, wearily riding the moving walkway toward the tube at heathrow or somewhere and a voice behind me said, "Pardon me" and i shifted my bags to let the voice pass and the voice was .....RUPERT GRINT. and yes, we're all old enough to be his mom but i tell you that lad is a dreamboat. what a cutie. he smiled at me. yes indeedy.)

and i agree also with everyone who's piped up to cheer the awesomeness of you, miss doxie.

and finally: please, please, miss doxie, get thee to IKEA. it will change your life. really. i swear it on a stack of HPs.

Posted by: stacie | July 28, 2005 10:05 PM

oh my god, snape is so not evil. he can't be. i totally believe your dumbledore told him to do it theory. as it is my theory too...

and your analysis. totally worthy of a grad school english credit - don't listen to your friend ;)

Posted by: suze | July 28, 2005 10:29 PM

Ok So here's my deal. Snape and Dumbledore totally had this conversation in the book where Snape was saying he wouldn't do it anymore. I think that Dumbledore just told Snape that he had to die and if it came down to scarring Draco for life, Dumbledore wanted Snape to off him.

Also... look for things where people get interupted. This happens all the time, where when someone talks about something and gets interuppted? That thing is COMING BACK in a later book. Example? The hand of glory.. totally mentioned in a different book. Craziness.

Posted by: Chrissy | July 28, 2005 10:56 PM

I hate to break it to you all, but SNAPE IS EVIL. When he killed Dumbledore, he had a look of hatred and disgust (or was it loathing? it was two negative emotions) on his face, and I believe Rowling described Snape as snarling as he gave the curse. If he was good, he would have shown a hint of remorse. How do I know this? It's Rowling's style, there's always a hint that there's something not-quite up, and there really wasn't one in this book. Also, think about what has to happen if there's only one book left in the series: Harry has to find the locket and the cup, destroy them each, figure out what another two horcruxes are and destroy them, then fight and kill Voldemort, and there still has to be enough page-time in the book for him to learn enough magic to defeat Voldemort, and for some kind of bittersweet-but-mostly-happy ending to develop. There's simply not going to be enough space for Snape to change sides yet again.

Harry is not a horcrux. Voldemort would have tried to make a horcrux after killing Harry, but his powers were already gone...Harry cannot be a horcrux, Voldemort's never had a chance to make him one. That said, we know five of the horcruxes for sure (Voldemort, diary, cup, locket, ring), and there's two still in doubt. I have a theory that's probably a little farfetched...but what if Hogwarts itself is a horcrux? Rowling seems to be taking the book in the direction of "Harry must do what's right even if it hurts," so I think the final horcrux is going to be something it would really pain him to destroy (but which is still possible for him to destroy and then be alive to kill Voldemort). Also, if Voldemort wanted to make a horcrux out of something that would almost certainly never be destroyed, the castle would be perfect.

Also...does anyone else think that the series is being set up to go past 7 books? Even if Harry does go back to Hogwarts for a 7th year, there's still the tidy little setup of his auror training for a sequel-series. Maybe Harry kills Voldemort in book 7 and then Snape rises as the next powerful evil wizard, and Harry must defeat his former teacher after he's all graduated & stuff. I know this is totally out there & everything, but there just seem to have been too many hints that there's going to be more story after the 7th year...

Posted by: Meaghan | July 28, 2005 11:12 PM

Snape is going to be Harry's uncle on his mothers side. He feels guilty about the death of Harry's parents for some reason and knows if he reveals the secret of their being related it will endanger himself and Harry. This is why he is not nice to Harry. He needs to be around to make sure Harry is safe and learns to be good instead of evil.
How's that for a theory? I have never read the books, I've only seen the movies so I am way behind on the other stuff.

Doxie! Some one is trying to burn down Atlantic Station. Get thee to Ikea before it is no more. Take your casual clothes and sneakers to work and go on your way home. PS The dogs said to be sure to bring home meatballs for them.

Posted by: mackmomma | July 29, 2005 01:08 AM

Okay, y'all can ramble on about the children's book for a while. I'll just wait here. Dumdedumdum. Okay, finished? Can we talk about dachshunds now? Thank you. Maggie update?

Posted by: daffythedachshund | July 29, 2005 04:09 AM

I don't know if I can buy any of these theories -- not that they're not well thought out and credible, but it's just that I like it that Rowling keeps throwing me curveballs. That being said, I will be TOTALLY CRUSHED to learn that Snape is ultimately evil, 'cause I was sooo pulling for him. This is compounded by the fact that I, like Ziz, find Snape-as-played-by-Alan-Rickman to be hot! hot! HOT! I liked him as Col. Brandon.

Posted by: holley | July 29, 2005 06:12 AM

Snape bad? Oh HELL no. My apartment turned into Law And Order: Special Wizards Unit about 20 seconds after we all finished the book (which was at about 7 in the morning as we all stayed up all night to read it). My roommate and I are defense of Snape- her boyfriend is prosecution. Eventually? We beat him down. THere is NO WAY Snape is ultimately on Voldemorts's side. Does he hate Harry? Probably. But he definitely did Dumbledore's bidding.

Plus, think about this. Snape made the unbreakable vow, and if you go back and read the exact wording of the vow, you see that if Snape had not killed Dumbledore Snape would have died. Dumbledore WANTED Snape to kill him (I also agree that he was probably already dying) so that Snape could live and protect Harry later. Why else freeze Harry?

I, however, am still UNHEALTHILY IN LOVE with Sirius, and desperately want him to come back.

Posted by: citycat | July 29, 2005 07:38 AM


I finished the book on Saturday, and had the same problem. My friends had either said "Harry who?" or told me to get the hell away from them until they finished. I felt like most that not much happened until the very end, but that was cool because I figured it had to be that way. JK had a lot of background to cram into ONE of the books and I'd rather it be in this one that the last.

Ages ago, a friend and I were talking about who was going to die in this book and I said (in one of my rare moments of genius plus I had just seen Star Wars) "You know, I bet Dumbledore will die, because then Harry will have to go the last bit of the road alone, proving his worthiness and all that." I then promptly forgot ALL about a character dying, until I got to the part in the book where Harry and Dumbledore see the dark mark. And then I said "Oh. Shit."

I'm starting to lean towards the camp of "OMG Snape is SOOOO not evil" because after reading the fight scene again, I saw a bunch of the stuff that people have mentioned - the pleading from Dumbledore, the "AM NOT A COWARD" and plus, I don't want to believe that friggin Snape could have so hoodwinked my dear Albus.

Also, I think Harry and Ginny will get back together. Mostly because I like them as a couple (oh that Ginny - such a little firecracker!). Plus, I totally see there being a "Road trip!" moment where Harry sets off with a bunch of the DA to trackdown the horcruxes.

Finally, on an unrelated note - Miss Doxie, I'm going to law school in the fall. Am I a)crazy, b)coo-coo crazy, or c)not right in the head?

Posted by: Sarah | July 29, 2005 08:10 AM

Thanks Miss Doxie; it appears I'm not such a geek after all!

Okay, so Ron and Hermione really really need to get together, because I'm getting tired of yelling "KISS HER" at my book. And Harry and Ginny: too cute! Tonks and Lupin was a bit of a curve-ball but it works.

Snape is not evil, although I wish he was. I hate that he made himself so sympathetic by helping out Narcissa.

Posted by: jcc | July 29, 2005 08:41 AM

I'm firmly in the 'Snape is not evil' camp...BUT isn't 'Avada Kedavra' one of those pesky unforgivable curses? One that guarantees an automatic life sentence in Azkaban?

Or is Azkaban no more? I know the Dementors took off, but I can't remember if the prison is still around locking up people.

Posted by: kbnfox | July 29, 2005 09:04 AM

Snape = not evil
Harry = horcrux
Harry and Ginny = so damn cute!
Dumbledore = gone but he is still a painting on the wall in the school....he will still be around.

7th book = can't come fast enough!!

Posted by: KAME | July 29, 2005 09:29 AM

I'm firmly in the NotEvil!Snape people camp (as well as the DAMN!He'sHOT camp). In fact, I think I was more shocked about Snape killing Dumbledore than Dumbledore dying! I didn't say it out loud (I don't think), but when I read that part I distinctly remember hearing NONONO!!! NOT SNAPE!!!

Anyway, maybe Snape is a horcrux...

Posted by: Janet | July 29, 2005 11:15 AM

loving all the theorizing... Not evil Snape would be my bet too. And RAB, and the locket being taken by Mundungus from 12 Grimmaude Place. I think the house elves will be involved as well... can't wait for the next book!

Posted by: lindsay | July 29, 2005 12:30 PM

My two cents: (Yay! Since no one else I know has finished the book either!)

I have nicknamed Ginny Weasley the "whore of Hogwarts". Girl gets around. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Snape = so not hot (not even oddly hot), but also likely not evil. Hot guys in the book (but not in the movies) Draco, Lupin (in that oddly hot way), Sirius, James, Cedric Diggory. Hottest actor in the HP movies: That guy that played Oliver Wood.

Dumbledore = totally dead. (To get a horcrux he'd have to kill someone and be bad, right?)

Posted by: LB | July 29, 2005 12:59 PM

Harry is one of the Horculxes or whatever the actually spelling is. That prophecy--"One cannot survive while the other lives" YEAH it is SO HARRY. Harry is one of the seven pieces of Voldemort's soul.

Posted by: amy | July 29, 2005 01:04 PM

I've been sick (whine, whine) and tired (whine, whine) so I'm only on Chapter 4. Me, the reading queen, who can finish 600 pages in an afternoon. I feel like such a failure! So I only skimmed today's commentary but, alas, did happen to see that the big D bit the bullet so to speak. When I'm pau (as we say in Hawaii) with the book I'll re-read the comments and add some totally erudite discourse to the mix. Cheers to you, Miss Doxie.

Posted by: Karen | July 29, 2005 01:30 PM

penis enlargement will be back even more now that you have said PENIS ENLARGEMENT and so have i. even saying SPAM can invite spam. it is insane. i have been getting absurd amount of spam every day. but on really old posts. like who reads those anyway? duh?

Posted by: honestyrain | July 29, 2005 01:31 PM

Miss Doxie, I feel your pain...when I finished it, the only other person done with it was Miss Zoot, so she had to put up with me foaming at the mouth wanting to obsess over it.

I TOTALLY agree with you regarding Snape! Remember, Dumbledore said "Severus, please." Why would Dumbledore be pleading for his life--that's just not his style. Snape is still okay, I think. He had to do it so that the Order would still have access to Voldemort. He fought with Dumbledore earlier in the book, and I think that's what they were fighting about.

Also, didn't have time to read your comments, so I don't know if this was discussed already but. The locket? They found it in the last book. Remember when they were cleaning Sirius's house? The locket that could not be opened? Aha! Also, RAB = Regulus Black, Sirius's DEATH EATER brother, who left the Death Eaters??? And then died??? (The note in the locket referred to Voldemort as "Dark Lord," which only a Death Eater would do.

Okay. That is my contribution. Discuss.

Posted by: Kathryn | July 29, 2005 01:41 PM

I disagree that Dumbledore is a horcrux as I can't imagine him killing anyone.

But I also think Snape is evil. Look at me with the lovely little black/white/no gray area assumptions.

I do think Harry will go back to school. Something will happen in the summer to draw him back. And it's probably simplistic, but the books are all sub-subtitled "Year One at Hogwarts," and so on. One can't have a "Year Seven at Hogwarts" without going to Hogwarts, right?

Posted by: ~L. | July 29, 2005 02:14 PM

You simply MUST check out this web site before Saturday. http://www.dumbledoreisnotdead.com/unansweredquestions.html

It got to me to consider the possibility that Snape may not be a bad guy. Basically it points out that Dumbledore only said "Severus, please." Not please help me. The look of disgust could have been because Snape didn't want to "kill" Dumbledore. Dumbledore froze Harry so he could be a witness to his "death".
It's very good reading and continually updated.

I also think you need to buy Kiefer Twin at least the first two books.
My mom finally caved, KT can too!!

Posted by: Bethmk32 | July 29, 2005 02:28 PM

La la la, not thinking about Lupin/Tonks...WHY? Because Lupin loved Sirius and Sirius loved Lupin, that's why! Lupin's boyfriend got MURDERED, he needs to spend the rest of his life in angsty and hot MOURNING, dammit!! God, I'm a dork.

PS: Snape=Not The Evil. PENIS ENLARGEMENT=The Evil.

Posted by: missbanshee | July 29, 2005 03:58 PM

Dumbles is DEAD for sure.

I agree that Snape is good.

I think Snape will avoid going to Azkaban because Dumbledore will have set up some sort of wizardy video(??) (or some pensieve-like something) that will come to light once Voldy is defeated revealing that Snape was killing Dumbles because Dumbles forced him to in hopes of defeating Voldy and sparing Draco.

I too am a huge dork.

Posted by: doxiechloe | July 29, 2005 04:26 PM

Stacie, I have something to say to you babycakes.....


You're welcome.

Wouldn't that be FREAKY? (I must admit, I didn't expect Snape to be the half-blood prince)

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn | July 29, 2005 04:30 PM

Okay, hi. My latest entry on my own site was about finishing the Harry potter book, too, except my entry wasn't nearly as funny as yours. Anyway, I too have some theories:

1) Snape IS bad. I believe the reason Dumbledore trusts him is because he made an Unbreakable Vow.

2) Get ready for this one... I believe that Harry's SCAR is a Horcrux.

How do ya like THEM apples?

Posted by: Jen | July 30, 2005 11:15 AM

Okay, so totally didnt read earlier comments until AFTER I had posted. Thought I was SO clever to come up with Harry=Horcrux theory, but evidently I'm one of many. Hee!

Also, I have to say, many of the theories about Snape NOT being evil are compelling. I really WANT him to not be evil, I just have a hard time figuring out what's really going on.

Posted by: Jen | July 30, 2005 11:41 AM

This page: http://www.livejournal.com/users/garlandgraves/3409.html convinced me that Snape is really good! Just moody. And hot.

Posted by: Laura | July 30, 2005 02:01 PM

ok. so, i've only read it once (i'm going back to hp1 to re-read the whole set), but didn't harry say that they potions book was 50 years old? too old to be his parents? then how could it be snape's? just a wrangling question... thought ya'll might have some ideas. also, why couldn't harry do one of those non-verbal spells to save prof. dumbly...? i loved dumbledore...so sad. but i think he's really dead, but might come back in some other form. (love the phoenix concept, btw).

anyway, i'm leaning toward the snape is good camp (and, yes, snape/alan rickman is way too hot to be totally evil), and have no idea who r.a.b. would be if it weren't sirius's brother. thanks for starting the conversation, doxie! can't wait for hp7!!

Posted by: moosk | August 1, 2005 02:19 PM

I am also totally on the NotEvil Snape train. Him being bad is just too obvious.

I still think that Neville is going to be important at some point but I wish she would get on with it already please.

And whoever came up with Regulus Black as RAB? Brilliant.

Posted by: anyabeth | August 1, 2005 03:12 PM

Ok, because I don't waste all my time on the big bad interweb I didn't read all the comments, so if this is a repeat to what someone already said, oh well.

I think you're right. I seem to recall Harry over hearing an aurgument between Dumbledore and Snape shortly after drinking the "luck juce." Something along the lines of Snape not wanting to continue on and Dumbledord saying he had to?

Oh, and you're also right about Snape being yummy goodness.

Posted by: Belila | August 1, 2005 09:22 PM

If JKR really is the goddess of brilliance that we all believe her to be, Snape can't really be evil. Greasy?Coldhearted? Bitchy? In need of a blowout and some styling product? Maybe, but not truly evil. We're being set up to be convinced that he's an evil Deatheater, which means that it's got to be the flipside. Also, I refuse to believe that Dumbledore is dead. I teared up during the death scene, and I am not a crier. There's got to be a twist. I agree with the whole Regalus-as-RAB theory, and look forward to it playing out. On the romance end, I like Harry and Ginny, but wish there was something for Hermione(not Ron). If she were, you know--of legal age, I would gladly head her lesbian fan club contingent. I enjoy getting my geek on with the Doxie crowd.

Posted by: SuMMer | August 1, 2005 11:07 PM

Hey, Jen, I see your apples and raise you a Hogwarts. Did that make sense? Of course not.

Dumbledore/Rowling have made lots of mention of the fact that Hogwarts is the closest thing to a home Voldemort had. Even in CoS, he gave up his attacks (and, admittedly, framed Hagrid) so he could come back to school. He put his power and goals on hold so he could remain there. So I firmly believe that Hogwarts is the last Horcrux. Now if I could just get others to believe me.

I think Snape was putting Dumbledore out of his misery. I don't think he's evil. But he's got a hell of an uphill battle to convince everyone, since the other high-ranking Order members seemed to be unaware of any arrangement.

Is it time for Book 7 yet?

Posted by: Evil Stepmother | August 2, 2005 10:40 AM

how can someone talk about Harry Potter with you if you already said shut up uhm?

If i was ziz I'd think: okay, whatever, you win


*runs away*

Posted by: Nahum | August 2, 2005 11:51 AM

I've had some really crazy theories over the years, none of which has proven to be true. Last year's theory was that Dumbledore was actually L.V.'s boss man. Since he's dead, I guess that didn't pan out...OR DOES IT????

My current theory is that Dumbledore isn't really dead, Snape is. I think they magically switched places, which is why DD trusted him.

Hmph. I know, I know. My husband doesn't like my theories, either.

Posted by: Karen | August 3, 2005 10:16 AM

Everyone thinks that I am insane for believing that Harry's parents are still alive. I still remotely believe this, but not as strong as I used to. But I did call Harry and Ginny after the second book...so maybe there is still a chance??

Posted by: KAME | August 4, 2005 11:39 AM

De-lurking to give my 2 cents- Snape isn't evil. He killed DD to save Malfoy, and DD told him to for the same reason. Voldemort would have killed/tortured Malfoy if he didn't do what he was told, but he hesitated, right? He's an evil little shit, but he hasn't actually killed anyone yet. He's still pretty innocent. I bet he will have an interesting part to play in the next book.

Posted by: JB | August 4, 2005 01:12 PM

de-lurking! HBP was super, and i love all the theories here! the dumbledoreisnotdead.com site totally helped me feel better after i finished the book and was all moody and depressed. to moosk: the book was too old to be James Potter's/Snape's, but it belonged to Eileen Prince before it was Snape's!
i am totally in favour of Snape being a good guy! and Sirius and Dumbledore both coming back in Book 7.

Posted by: jenn | August 5, 2005 12:45 AM

don't hate me forever, but --

I've never read a single word of the Harry Potter series. I went to highschool with a kid who is the living embodiment of said character, and it was just too creepy.

Posted by: number1hypocrite | August 5, 2005 10:41 AM

here's a theory..maybe Dumbledore was a horcrux and that's why he wanted Snape to kill him..because in order for all the horcruxes to be destroyed, Dumbledore had to die.

Posted by: sommer | August 5, 2005 01:12 PM

See, I definitely think Dumbledore is way dead...but I am holding out hope against hope that Sirus will return. They never had a funeral for him, there was no body, and wow was I in love with him. Ok... I will admit it was Gary Oldman that I was in love with, but I miss Sirius.

Snape - evil. Alan Rickman - Hottiebobottie. Ron - cute jailbait.

I liked the Ginny comment above, who would have thunk she would turn out to be so easy.

Posted by: jamie | August 6, 2005 12:24 AM

OK, person with Evil Stepmother name? First of all, your nickname is totally awesome. Second, I am very much with you on the Hogwarts-is-a-horcrux thing.

I also find the theories espoused here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/madsciencechick/35836.html?) to be very interesting. Not just because the webmistress is fantastic, but because she does make a good point about the cups-coins-wands-swords thing.

There seem to be quite a few "last of their lines" characters in the books...Voldemort is the last of Slytherin's line, that old lady isn't the last of Hufflepuff's line but she does have the artifact (by the way, the haughty Zacharias Smith? He's probably the last of the Hufflepuff line...same last name as the old lady, he's stuck up, he's in the house...). So Slytherin & Hufflepuff are covered, and that leaves Ravenclaw & Gryffindor. I'm willing to bet that Dumbledore was the last of the Cryffindor line (the fact that Harry had to show him extraordinary loyalty to get the sword in CoS); there's also the point in Dumbledore's memory when Voldemort's hand twitched towards his wand...what if Dumbledore's memory has been altered and the Gryffindor sword got changed? What safer place for a horcrux than in the office of the Hogwarts Headmaster who's positive that it's not a horcrux? Which leaves a Ravenclaw horcrux - ideas anyone, 'cuz I'm clueless? & also, Voldemort knows that the diary was destroyed - wouldn't he have just gone ahead & made another horcrux? That's what I'd do if I was an evil megalomaniac bent on world domination and immortality.

I still don't think Harry, or any part of him, can be a horcrux. Voldemort was going to kill Harry, which would have been the momentous kill necessary for his 7th horcrux. But he didn't kill Harry, he lost his powers instead, which means he wouldn't have had the powers necessary to make a horcrux. I agree that the wording of the prophecy is very interesting, but you also have to consider that if "neither may live while the other survives" is meant quite literally, then the prophecy has already been proven wrong. They're both alive. (and, incidentally, it would go against the horcrux theory because Voldemort would need Harry to be alive in order for himself to be alive, so both could live while the other survived)

I'm looking at it from the perspective of one who studies literature, and I just don't see how Rowling's going to fit into book 7 everything that needs to be done. I would by no means object to a secondary series, as the books are quite enjoyable, but I'm also curious to see if she's going to try and cram it all into one book. To review, assuming that Dumbledore is right which I think many clues indicate is not the case, Harry still needs to: figure out where the locket is & how to destroy it, find Hufflepuff's cup and figure out how to destroy it, figure out what and where the Ravenclaw horcrux is and how to destroy it, kill Nagini who's protected by Voldemort (OR figure out what this last horcrux is and how to destroy it), complete his 7th year of school including his NEWT exmas, learn enough to stand a semblance of a chance against Voldemort, actually find & fight Voldemort, find & fight Snape, and finally come to a happy ending. Even if each of these "tasks" is only allotted 50 pages, that's 450 right there with no room for the finesse or style that makes Rowling...well, Rowling. And no room for the mistakes that Harry *always* makes.

So, anyway, I'm curious as to what people *want* to see hapoen in book 7. I'm personally betting on & rooting for a sequel-series, just because I think it would be better for the books themselves. I'm kinda hoping Harry spends book 7 learning more about all these people who have died to protect him. Something like Dumbledore collecting memories of James & Lily Potter so Harry could at least observe his parents...I know I'm a sap & all, but it would make for some great character development, no? Oh, and I hope that Ron & Hermione get together, & Harry & Ginny get back together, too. I think they will, I just hope it's sooner rather than later. Not least because couples in this series have an uncanny knack of sharing the same fate (Longbottoms both tortured, Potters both killed, Weasleys are both ok), which caters to my strong romantic streak. =)

But enough prattling from me...really, what do you all *hope* happens??

Posted by: Meaghan | August 6, 2005 02:38 AM

I feel totally dumb for not seeing a lot of clues you very intelligent people have put out here. BUT! I did have one thought that Jennie added, too. So maybe I'm not so dumb.

I totally think that Harry is one of the Horcruxes.

Posted by: Erin | August 10, 2005 12:15 PM

I totally agree with those above about Dumbledore living on into Book 7 through memories and that handy pensieve. For one thing, we never got to hear the story about his hand, and he kept promising it...

And the hotness? I'm definitely in the Sirius/Gary Oldman camp. But word all over the place to the person upthread who mentioned the boy who played Oliver Wood - he was spectacular. I remember googling him after seeing the first film and learning two things:

1) The actor's name is Sean Biggerstaff. Hee.

2) He was, like, 17 when they made that film. God help me.

Posted by: Jules | August 18, 2005 11:33 AM

poker When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Posted by: poker | August 31, 2005 12:16 AM

Snape: Not Evil (Hagrid heard Dumbledore trying to convince him to do something he didn't want to...)

Dumbledore: Actually dead, but a phoenix was born from his funeral pyre (I hope...)

R.A.B: MAYBE Sirius' brother. My theory is actually Mr. Borgin of B&B's. His first name isn't listed in the Harry Potter Lexicon and it would be just like J.K.R. to give us Regulus as a red herring.

Um... 'sall for now!

Posted by: Miss Corker | September 6, 2005 12:13 AM

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