Revenge of the...Something.
So, we went to see that, finally. Dukay and I. But we hadn't seen the other one, the Episode 2 one, so we watched that one first. And there...there is a lot of frolicking in it. In fields.
Frolicking makes Dukay nervous. Frolicking makes Dukay think that people are maybe about to burst into song. Dukay hates it when people burst into song.
But, we watched it, and nobody sang, and so yesterday we went to the movie theater that serves drinks and food (Hi. Yes. And you get to sit in comfortable chairs, and why are all movies not like this?) and we watched the Return of the Sith, and it was...kind of long. And Natalie Portman is glowy. And kind of wearing a lot of layers. That is all that really registered with me.
I am not, in general, a huge fan of the science fiction thing, including the genre of superhero movies. I didn't get Spiderman. And also, I don't care what you say, people, but Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal ARE THE SAME PERSON. YES. They have been tricking you all this time.
Doesn't anyone see this but me? It is FREAKING ME OUT. They are never in the same room together at the same time! It is Batmannish.
But, anyway. Star Wars. I am just going to go ahead and tell y'all that my love for the original (Episode IV, apparently) is undiminished and great, and when I was five, I watched that movie PRETTY MUCH EVERY DAY. I did. On Beta. TOP THAT.
I was mostly convinced that I was, in fact, Princess Leia, and had the underroos to prove this. Also, my grandmother made me a white drapey-dress thingy with a belt for Halloween, and I wore that just about every day of my life. And...well. Maybe things got a little bit unhealthy there, just a little, when the pressure cooker got involved, but...you know.
Yeah. I said it. PRESSURE COOKER.
Because, see, the pressure cooker? Was small. And cylindrical. And had a domed glass top, and buttons. And...do we see who that looks like? Maybe? A little?
I will give you a clue.
I mean, sort of. Shut up.
Except the pressure cooker we had was much more R2 like. I swear. I have witnesses.
And, anyway. It also had an extension cord, and maybe it has been alleged that a five-year old Miss Doxie would wander around the house, DRAGGING the pressure cooker by said extension cord, from room to room, TALKING TO IT, and maybe, JUST POSSIBLY, making beeping noises when it..."responded."
Maybe we would have guests over, who would walk into the den, find me whispering to the pressure cooker. Maybe those guests would then...leave. I don't know.
So. Anyway. Now you know.
Also, as long as we're talking Star Wars (or...I am, anyway), I would be remiss not to share one of my favorite Star Wars related stories of all time. And here it is.
So, one time? In college? When one of my friends was in the car with another one of my friends, who had (allegedly) just consumed/inhaled a wide variety of controlled substances? And they were in the middle of Officially Fucking Nowhere, North Georgia? And that is when they got pulled over by the cops? Yes!
And my sober friend, who was driving, and whom we will call Mr. Sobriety, was like, "DUDE. You will not talk. You will leave the talking to me. You will be completely silent and mute-like."
And the friend, whom we will call The Other Guy, immediately responded with: "..."
Because that is about all he was capable of at that particular moment.
So the cop approached, and this is what went down:
Cop: Let's see your license and registration.
Mr. Sobriety: (reaches for his wallet)
Mr. The Other Guy: (lunges across the car, thrusts his hand in the officer's face, makes swirly motions with his fingers.)
Mr. The Other Guy: You don't NEED to see his identification.
Cop: (stares blankly)
Mr. Sobriety: Uh...
Mr. The Other Guy: THESE ARE NOT THE DROIDS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.
Mr. Sobriety: Oh, FUCK.
Mr. The Other Guy: MOVE ALONG!
You can imagine the fun that followed. Fortunately, nobody was arrested very much.
And...those are my Star Wars stories. All two of them. Don't judge me.
Because, if you'd have had a pressure cooker, you'd have loved it, too.