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For What It's Worth

June 18, 2005

About a month ago, our friends Noah and Ash came over for a small, intimate, us-only dinner party at my parents' house, because my parents were out of town, and why throw a perfectly good intimate dinner party at your own house, when your PARENTS' house is just, like, EMPTY AND ABANDONED because they are never in town, and also equipped with such wonders as (a) one swimming pool, and (b) one wine cellar? And you are equipped with (c) one key? WHY WOULD YOU NOT ENTERTAIN THERE EVERY DAY? So off we went.

At one point during the evening, the four of us were talking about Serious Things, when Noah all of a sudden turned very red and started stammering, and looked at Ash, and she was like, Dude, YOU deal with it. So he was the one who had to tell me that my boob had just FALLEN OUT of my otherwise cute sundress, and I had been sitting there discussing THE EUROPEAN UNION as my nipple, filled with childlike wonder, took in the various sights and sounds of my parents' backyard. Hello, world! FEEL THAT BREEZE?

But anyway. Despite my exposed nipplage, we had an awesome time, because it was fun to hang out with them. And we don't get to see them very much, because Noah has been in Iraq, and Ash has been busy setting up their new house. And so we had super big fun, even though Ash didn't much have a bathing suit, and the only store that was open was Target, and the only thing they had was Dregs of Bathing Suits, in various non-Ash sizes, and so she ended up buying one bottom and one top that did not match, NOR did they fit, and she looked kind of like an Olsen twin except with boobs. Finally she just gave the heck up and hopped into the pool wearing a dress, already.

And, I was like OH NO on the pool/water thing, because it is one in the morning and I am tired and a wuss, and ALSO, IT IS COLD, Y'ALL. I tentatively put my toe in the water, and made little shrieky sounds, and backed away. Until Noah saw me, and this strange, dangeorous light came into his eyes, and before I knew it, he had PICKED MY ASS UP and was holding me over the deep end of the pool in a terrible, suspense-filled drama the likes of which I WILL NOT EVEN GO INTO, but FEAR, TERROR filled my heart, and I started pleading like he was about to toss me into a pit of VIPERS, PEOPLE.

So I engaged in negotiation.

Self: Noah. I just fed you. Please do not throw me into the pool.

Noah: YOU ARE GOING IN.

Self: I will give you shiny things. I am sorry I tried to make you eat a crab cake. I now know how you feel about seafood and how you believe that crabs are like insects of the marine world. Please accept my deepest apologies and rememember that I also served you a steak. And also some lovely potatoes.

Noah: INTO. THE WATER.

Self: I will buy you cars and diamonds. Please do not make me wet in such a manner that I will have to go find a hairdryer before I can go to bed. You have short militaryish hair, and I have many long locks. They do not like the wet, Noah. They will turn on you.

Noah: I AM NOT SCARED OF YOUR HAIR.

Self: But, see, Dukay is scared of my hair, and is scared that if you anger the hair, the hair will attack him in his sleep, slowly wrapping around his throat and throttling all of the sweet breath from his body.

Noah: Wait, is this the best you can do? Aren't you a lawyer? You suck at arguing.

Self: Well. I am kind of freaking out right now.

Noah: And for good reason, because IN YOU GO.

And he threw my ass in. At which point, while underwater, I decided to put him in the HAUNTED GUEST BEDROOM, OH I WILL SHOW YOU, YOU THROWER-INNER.

And then I cacked evilly. Cackle.

After emerging, shivering and pathetic from the pool, I wrapped myself up in a very unattractive flannel robe and tried to comfort my hair before it went on an attack directed towards my dinner guests. And then we came inside and drank wine, and sat in the hot tub and made fun of the guys who were whining about how HOT it was, in the aptly named, you know, hot tub, and then we all fell asleep in various (HAUNTED!) rooms. And woke the next "morning," which is a term I use loosely because it was technically one of those "p.m." times, and then went to breakfast and ate barbecue sandwiches and eggs, because SOMETHING IS CLEARLY WRONG WITH US, but man, it was good.

And then we hugged Noah goodbye, because the next day, he was flying back to serve for eight more months.

Early yesterday morning, Noah was killed in Iraq. I don't know any of the details yet. I only know that he is gone, and that Ash called both Dukay and me yesterday so that we would not have to learn about it on the news.

I am so sorry. I am so sorry for his family, and for Ash, and for all of their many friends, who knew him for years longer than I. I feel like this tragedy is not mine; it is theirs, but I am heartbroken for them. I am heartbroken for everyone.

There is a tremendous care package for Noah sitting in my dining room right now, waiting to be sent. It's just...sitting there. It all seems unreal. I don't even know what to do.

And, this is exactly the sort of thing I would not usually write about, because this website is supposed to be lighthearted and funny. But the thing is, all of my times with Noah were lighthearted and funny. Noah always made me laugh.

And it seemed, somehow, that maybe the best tribute I could pay would be to tell all of y'all about this funny, mischevious, giggling guy who threw me into a pool a few weeks ago, who hated seafood with a passion, and who loved his girlfriend with all of his heart. Who never got to be a husband, and who never got to be a daddy. Who never made it home.

He is gone, and he will be missed.

Posted by doxie in | permalink

125 Comments

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. Please don't apologize for sharing what's on your mind. This is your voice. Again, I'm so sorry.

Posted by: amy | June 19, 2005 09:02 PM

I am so, so sorry..

That was a wonderful tribute to your friend. Sending prayers to his friends and family...

Posted by: AmyInPA | June 19, 2005 09:06 PM

I am just so sorry. What a beautiful thing to write about him, though. Thank you.

Posted by: thehotlibrarian | June 19, 2005 09:06 PM

I'm so sorry... for you, Dukay, and especially Ash. All of you are in my thoughts...

Posted by: Anne A. | June 19, 2005 09:32 PM

I am so very sorry.

Posted by: lildaus | June 19, 2005 09:45 PM

Wow. My heart got bruised just now, reading that; I can only imagine what yours feels like. Keeping good thoughts for Ash and everyone who loved Noah.

Posted by: Tracy | June 19, 2005 10:40 PM

That was a beautiful way to remember your friend. I am adding him and his loved ones to my prayers as well.

Posted by: holley | June 19, 2005 10:42 PM

What a beautiful tribute to Noah. May God hold his family and friends in his loving arms while they grieve. You wrote a moving piece. I am sorry for your loss as well.

Posted by: Laura | June 19, 2005 10:51 PM

Like everyone else, I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say except that.

Posted by: Ryan | June 19, 2005 10:55 PM

So sorry for your loss. Prayers sent for his family and friends.

Posted by: RadiantSky | June 20, 2005 12:58 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with Ash and his family as well.

Send the package as a tribute to Noah. This address will point you in the right direction. http://www.americasupportsyou.mil/

Posted by: Bethmk32 | June 20, 2005 01:51 AM

I'm so sorry, Miss Doxie. Your tribute was beautiful- the best way to remember people is through the funny, lighthearted moments. One of the best funerals (if a funeral can be good) I went to had everybody talk about their favorite memory of the person in question. The person was quite funny in their life- we all left laughing about his various hijinks that he pulled in his life. It still hurt to let him go- but it felt good to recall the good times with a lot of people who loved him.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Catherine | June 20, 2005 02:14 AM

The loss of someone fine and young is never right.

Posted by: fifi | June 20, 2005 02:34 AM

Oh my fucking god. This makes me so upset/frustrated/angry. Will now put my very alive life on hold and spend some time trying to figure out what I can do. My heartfelt heart feelings to you and Ashley.

Posted by: GdP | June 20, 2005 02:54 AM

*so shocked I don't know what to say* I'm SO very sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: lizardek | June 20, 2005 03:52 AM

Oh, God Leigh. I totally did not see that coming and it nearly tore an anguished cry from my throat for this guy that I never met but had the lovely sense of humor to bicker with you about being thrown in the pool and I'm so, so sorry. I'll be praying for his family, and the people like you who loved him.

Posted by: Heather | June 20, 2005 04:27 AM

I am so sorry.

Posted by: Brighton | June 20, 2005 07:03 AM

I, too, have known people who have been killed serving in Iraq. It all seems surreal until you realize that they aren't coming home.

My deepest sympathies to you and yours.

Posted by: number1hypocrite | June 20, 2005 07:07 AM

I am so very sorry. Ach. Have tears in my eyes for a total stranger.

Posted by: Galloping Cat | June 20, 2005 07:19 AM

Oh.

As I read the phrase "eight more months" I thought "I hope we're not reading about his death or injury in coming months," laughing about the effect of the boob story on your search engine rank and thinking that you really do suck at negotiating while being hung over water and thinking that BBQ and eggs sounds delicious when the next sentence hit like a blow.


I'm so very sorry. Thanks for sharing this story of your friend.

Posted by: Mark | June 20, 2005 07:26 AM

Wow. No other words. Thank you for sharing and the wonderful tribute.

Posted by: destinyqueen | June 20, 2005 07:45 AM

I'm so terribly sorry. Thank you for the reminder, though, that every loss in war is a unique, personal tragedy. Sometimes hearing numbers alone makes you forget the reality. God bless.

Posted by: Cyd | June 20, 2005 08:35 AM

Oh, sweetie, what a sad and sweet tribute to your friend. Thank you for sharing this with us. I'll be keeping you and Noah's family and friends in my thoughts and prayers.

God bless,
LadyBug

Posted by: LadyBug | June 20, 2005 09:31 AM

Oh my gosh, Leigh. I was eating my bagel and laughing at your story and then I was crying. I'm so sorry to you and Ash and everyone who loved Noah.

Posted by: Em | June 20, 2005 09:50 AM

sometimes everything in life is just WONDERFUL. and you wake up and go through your day and you think wow, this Life thing, its good. its really good. theres family, and theres friends, and fun and laughter and LOVE and happiness and awesome people on this earth. then, there are days when you see none of that. and its not your fault. things are NOT going good. and then more things go not-goodly. like some bastard bashes into your car and now you got a $10,000 fix on your hands and insurance thats gonna sky rocket but ya know what? at least youre alive. and not injured. and life WILL go on even though youve been on the verge of tears for the past 2 days. to wrap up this rambling im just gonna say that tragedy sucks. but to take away some of the suckage, people should take a lesson from it and appreciate everything and EVERYONE.

Posted by: amy | June 20, 2005 09:51 AM

I agree that I was reading along, enjoying the entry, then just felt like I had been punched in the stomach. But I will also say that this beautiful tribute made me feel like I understand a little about him and his (far too short) life -- so thanks for letting us in on that. I wish it could have been just another funny story.

Posted by: ~L. | June 20, 2005 09:59 AM

Thank you for sharing that. More faces need to be put with the names of those who are facing death and uncertainty everyday over there.

Posted by: Chari | June 20, 2005 10:04 AM

I'm so sorry, Doxie. If it would be of any comfort to Ash and the rest of Noah's family and friends, please let them know that the whole wide Internet is thinking of them.

Posted by: Laziza | June 20, 2005 10:06 AM

Oh now . . . shit. So much life.

Posted by: Gretchen C. | June 20, 2005 10:16 AM

It doesn't seem like you needed this terrible thing to remind you of what's important in life - you seem to have your priorities - family, friends, everything - in joyful, loving order. Maybe this lesson is for the rest of us. Such a sad lesson.

I'm so sorry that this happened.

Posted by: Demery | June 20, 2005 10:23 AM

Oh, Doxie. I am so sorry. But that was a really lovely tribute to your friend.

Posted by: Heather | June 20, 2005 10:42 AM

ohmygod. i was just reading about the pool debauchery and giggling and thinking how you must have had a great time. then i read the end part and i'm just speechless. my jaw just....dropped. i am so sorry for your loss of such a good person. i won't get into how he shouldn't have been in iraq in the first place, but just know you're in my thoughts today. i hope you guys find some comfort and again, i'm so sorry.

Posted by: christine | June 20, 2005 11:09 AM

Oh my God. I didn't see that coming. I'm so sorry for Ash's, and your, loss. What a terrible tragedy.

Posted by: Bond Girl | June 20, 2005 11:14 AM

I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. I am so sorry and sad for all of you.

Posted by: Erica | June 20, 2005 11:16 AM

Leigh, I am so sorry to read about this. It is a beautiful, funny memory of your friend, and I'm sure it is in perfect keeping with his life.

My God. How is this right??? I cannot imagine how your friend Ash is feeling, and even just thinking about it, I've got tears in my eyes, but let her know that people all over the internet are hurting for her. And for you, too.

I'll be thinking of you.. and hoping that all of this insanity will end soon.

Posted by: Kathryn | June 20, 2005 11:17 AM

I am so sorry. I hope that with the support of family and friends like you, Ash will be ok. Y'all have the support of the internet too, which is no small thing, I think.

Posted by: Kristin | June 20, 2005 11:30 AM

I am so very sorry.

Posted by: karla | June 20, 2005 11:32 AM

I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your friend with us. And for making my heart hurt.

Posted by: VeeBeeWhy | June 20, 2005 11:38 AM

I am so very, very sorry. You are all in my prayers.

Posted by: Floyd | June 20, 2005 11:41 AM

My younger brother has been called up and is leaving within the next three months.

No one has been able to explain to him why he is being sent to Iraq.

Posted by: Johnny | June 20, 2005 12:01 PM

So sorry for your loss, Miss Doxie. I really liked the line where you said, "it is not my tragedy - it is theirs." Ash is lucky to have a friend like you, she will need it.

I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts.

Posted by: Littlehoney | June 20, 2005 12:15 PM

I lost a buddy in Gulf War I. Had a family member get blown up and permanantly disfigured in Gulf War II. As a father of three beautiful children, each story I read is like a boot in my chest. This is someone's kid...someone's sister or brother. Thank you for putting a face, a name and a soul on the headlines we've gotten so used to that we just don't even see anymore.

Yrs,

Luther "Tubby" DeLaCroix

Posted by: Luther DeLaCroix | June 20, 2005 12:26 PM

What a wonderful person Noah was.I am sure that he felt proud to serve his country and I am sure that he died bravely. As the wife of a soldier, show Ash all the support and love that you wish you could be showing Noah.

Posted by: alfredsmom | June 20, 2005 12:56 PM

Leigh,
Thank you for sharing your memories of Noah and what a wonderful person he was. Please tell Ash that she is in our thoughts and prayers.
With sympathy and love,
S

Posted by: suzanna danna | June 20, 2005 01:00 PM

My condolences on the loss of your friend, and especially to Ash.

Posted by: Eh... not so much | June 20, 2005 01:29 PM

This was a beautiful post. It does justice to the person it honors, and the style perfectly emulates the feeling of going about life in ordinary (and funny) ways and then having something happen that hits abruptly and tragically. I will keep your friends (and yourself) in my thoughts and send hugs and good wishes in your direction.

Posted by: Vanessa | June 20, 2005 01:33 PM

Laughter and tears are both examples of how we know we are alive. Your entry today did both for me and is a beautiful tribute to your friend. You have a wonderful gift for expressing yourself - this entry was perfect. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Ash and her family.

Posted by: Susan | June 20, 2005 02:20 PM

Wow... that's so sad. I'm very sorry, my thought and prayers are with Ash.

Posted by: brea | June 20, 2005 02:53 PM

OMG I am so sorry, and my heart aches - especially for Ash. What a wonderful memory of Noah to carry with you though. Thank you for sharing a little bit about a guy who was obviously a great friend and a beautiful human being. Prayers to you all.

Posted by: Ivie | June 20, 2005 03:09 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your friend and my thoughts are with all of you.

Posted by: Annegirrl | June 20, 2005 03:13 PM

What a beautiful tribute, Doxie. I hope your friend Ash knows that Noah will be missed by people he's never even met on the innernet..

Posted by: SuMMer | June 20, 2005 03:43 PM

Shit.

Thanks for sharing that memory, Miss D.

My heart goes out to you all, family, friends, and Ash.

Posted by: Moriah | June 20, 2005 03:51 PM

Condolences, Leigh, et. al. I'm truly sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Coleen | June 20, 2005 03:52 PM

I'm so sorry. All my best thoughts are with youo.

Posted by: Kristina | June 20, 2005 04:00 PM

Words fail me. I'm so sorry. What a tragic story. Thanks for sharing your hurt and your humor.

Posted by: DurtGrrl | June 20, 2005 04:08 PM

I'm so sorry. What a beautiful tribute to a man who is obviously loved by many.

Posted by: Shu | June 20, 2005 04:19 PM

Omg.. after the giggling, which I thought would be more giggling.. I couldn't breathe and here I am in my office, tearing up for this man you depicted so lovingly.. My heart goes out to Ash.. and you.. There really are no words to say how much that sucks.. so so sorry!

Posted by: Angel | June 20, 2005 04:52 PM

Oh my God. I am so sorry. So sorry for Noah's family, and Ash, you guys - so so so sad.

Posted by: laura | June 20, 2005 05:05 PM

I'm so sorry for you all.

Posted by: E | June 20, 2005 05:08 PM

On my blog I posted about my wonderful weekend with my son. All the fun things we did, not trying to brag, but trying to share a smidge of the love that I feel for my boy with all my blogging friends.

Today Angel sends me the link to THIS posting on your blog. Loss is not good, but the feelings you all shared comes through so easily in this post, as if you guys were here and I were watching you interact.

I'm sure my son and I had such a wonderful weekend because of people like Noah, protecting others...protecting you, his friends. That's about as commendable as it gets.

I’m glad you shared, I’m sure it wasn’t easy.

Posted by: Mr. Bloggerific Himself | June 20, 2005 05:25 PM

What a wonderful tribute to your friend. I am sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Michele | June 20, 2005 05:26 PM

*Hugs*

Miss Doxie, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with us the wonderful Noah you all were so privileged to know. Best wishes, take care, and I give you all my love.

Posted by: Monica | June 20, 2005 05:28 PM

I am so unbelievably sorry. I don't know what else to say.

Posted by: Lori | June 20, 2005 06:14 PM

Oh, I'm so sorry. I wish I could say something to comfort you, but just know that you are all in my thoughts. As lucky as you were to have him as your friend, he too was lucky to have you and all the fun times you had.

Posted by: Lauren | June 20, 2005 06:41 PM

My wife is in Iraq and I pray every day that she comes home soon and safely.

I'm so sorry that Noah was killed. I'm so angry about this stupid war and all the lives that have been taken. Poor Ash. What an absolute nightmare.
My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: iggipolka | June 20, 2005 06:56 PM

So here's the deal -- so long as people don't talk about this, and so long as Bush is allowed to stop the press from showing pictures of coffins coming home, and so long as we seriously really really believe that it's better to be there than not be there,

well... there will be plenty more families and friends who will have to reconcile their memories of life with the realities of death.

I wish you could skywrite this story over Washington DC and all of the we-love-Bush states.

Posted by: Norman | June 20, 2005 07:23 PM

Oh, Leigh. *tears* I am so sorry.

Posted by: Mir | June 20, 2005 09:57 PM

I'm so so sorry. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute.

Posted by: Jess | June 20, 2005 10:35 PM

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Just before reading your entry, I read the Atlanta Journal-Constitution story on Noah. He seemed like such a wonderful guy from the article, but it was your entry that brought his personality to life. What an awful tragedy. My heart goes out to you, your friend Ash, and all of the family members and friends that must be grieving for Noah at this time.

Posted by: Christine | June 20, 2005 10:42 PM

Oh, my.

What a dear tribute to a brave man. I wish none of the 1700 people we've lost had needed to go in harms way. I can only wish that all of them could have had the heartfelt and moving memorial and eulogy you've given your friend.

Let us never forget, they are not numbers, they are our loved ones.

Nancy F.

Posted by: Nancy F. | June 21, 2005 12:16 AM

I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry.

Posted by: Laura | June 21, 2005 12:26 AM

i may just cry over the death of a guy i never knew. may god bless his dear girlfriend & family & friends, good friends like you & dukay. condolences...

Posted by: erin | June 21, 2005 12:56 AM

I am so so sorry to hear that my thought's go out to ash, you and dukay

Posted by: Andrew | June 21, 2005 03:50 AM

I am very sorry to hear. What a wonderful story and tribute you have left to all that knew him and those of us that didn't. Thank you for sharing.

Posted by: Kim | June 21, 2005 09:20 AM

When I am watching the news and there friends and family who have lost a loved one on, and the news person asks the question, "what would you like the world to know about so and so" and they say that he/she was kind, loving, etc. I always think to myself, give me one detail, one little thing, that I can hold onto for you, that is unique. And so now, when I read this, not only am I sorry for your loss, but I am thankful that when I send good thoughts to you, Ash, his family, etc., I know that he hated seafood, and that he was the kind of silly boy that would throw you in the pool. It makes him real. Thank you for that.

Posted by: Lindsey | June 21, 2005 09:51 AM

"To die in service to one's country is to live forever" It is a cliche but it is true. This is a terrible tragedy and I am saddened for the loss of your friend and for all the young people lost. I only hope and pray that history looks favorably on this action and that the Iraqi people gain human rights and dignity for the first time in their lives so the losses of our friends, fathers and children won't be in vain.

Posted by: Christine | June 21, 2005 10:19 AM

You don't know me, but I read your entry through a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend's blog.... you know how it goes....

I just wanted to add my most sincere condolences to those already expressed.... I was thoroughly enjoying the pool party scene and could almost see a thing like that happening, laughing, enjoying life and then -- so sudden, the shock. Words can't express how you must be feeling.

My recommendation on the care package would be: Do send it, send it along to other troops to let them know that they're missed and cared for. I would further recommend that you print a copy of your entry so that the recipients of the package understand that it is in Noah's memory that you sent it.....

(I am military myself, although in a domestic support role and not likely to be deployed. However, my last partner was military as well and went overseas.... and he has told me just how much those care packages, including some sent by good Samaritans not related to the troops, are appreciated and welcomed)

Posted by: FreeFloat | June 21, 2005 10:23 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and Ash in my thoughts. If you need a destination for that box of treats you have sitting at home, might I recommend sending it to another soldier via Treats For Troops? http://www.treatsfortroops.com It might be a nice way to honor Noah.

Posted by: Danielle | June 21, 2005 10:27 AM

After participating in the invasion of Iraq and spending the following 12 months there, I can relate to your loss. I'm sure Noah was a warrior, and a hero among his peers. Those who knew him may comfort themselves knowing that he gave his life to a cause he had volunteered to support and was, I'm sure, dedicated to more deeply than many can understand. The Coalition's presence in Iraq is payed for with the lives of our nations finest, young and brave men and women.

God bless Noah. No matter what the circumstances, Noah made the ultimate sacrifice and we are all indebted to his selfless service to our nation.

I hope few others will politicize the loss of those who knew and cared about Noah - All should remember that the lives cost in combat are given, not taken, by volunteers called to serve out an honorable commitment sworn with their own right hands before God and our country.

Posted by: Kiefer Twin | June 21, 2005 11:35 AM

I'm so, so sorry.

Posted by: Sheryl | June 21, 2005 12:48 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts my heart just reading this entry.

Posted by: Liz | June 21, 2005 01:10 PM

I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and Noah's people.

Posted by: Jen | June 21, 2005 01:34 PM

So very sorry. :( Will keep you, Noah's family, and Noah in our prayers.

Posted by: Jon in Michigan | June 21, 2005 01:36 PM

http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/mld/ledgerenquirer/news/local/11944151.htm

Posted by: IV:XX | June 21, 2005 01:43 PM

What a wonderful way to remember him.

Posted by: chillier | June 21, 2005 01:50 PM

For the article about Noah,

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/0605/21soldiers.html

(free registration required)

Posted by: T.L. | June 21, 2005 01:54 PM

i dont know if i could write about something like that, and if i could it wouldnt be done so well, you were really brave to share this with 'us'.
it probably doesnt help, but at least you have that last great memory of your friend- its sounds like it was a fantastic weekend. x

Posted by: monkey typist | June 21, 2005 02:40 PM

what a beautiful way to remember someone who (sounds like he) was a beautiful person.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Posted by: kristine | June 21, 2005 03:01 PM

Thank you for making something so big and far away and abstract so real and affecting. Not one news report, not one photograph, not any analysis or editorial opinion made my heart drop like it did five minutes ago when I read about Noah on MissDoxie.com.
I am very sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Madeleine | June 21, 2005 04:01 PM

i'm so sorry for your loss. my thoughts and prayers are with you and ash. noah gave up his most precious possession so that the world can live in freedom. let's not forget him or any of the others.

Posted by: Sunni | June 21, 2005 04:16 PM

I'm so incredibly sorry for your (and Ash's) loss. I can't tell you how close to home this post comes. My brother is in Iraq, (out of Ft. Stewart Army Base) and he's coming home on leave in two weeks.

I'm so glad you had the opportunity to share a glimpse of Noah's life with us. What an awesome guy! He will be missed dearly, as well as the rest of the Men and Women who so selflessly gave their lives in Freedom's name. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Posted by: Jennifer W. | June 21, 2005 06:27 PM

I am so sorry. I know that it won't matter how much you will hear this, the pain in your heart and the hearts of those who knew him will not go away.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful story with us, as a tribute for him.

Posted by: Lily | June 21, 2005 06:34 PM

I read your story as people call me to go to my neighbor's house for dinner. We are eating together as we await her husband. He is arriving home in a few hours after 5 months in Iraq. I wish everyone could come home. Thank you, Noah, for serving your country and all of us. Thanks for sharing, Miss Doxie.

Posted by: steph | June 21, 2005 06:43 PM

I'm so sorry.

Posted by: arubagirl | June 21, 2005 06:58 PM

I, like Heather, uttered a spontaneous cry when I read that your dear friend had been killed. I can not imagine the sadness you all must be feeling. Please know, though, that there is so much love emanating toward you all right now. And I feel immensely proud of people like Noah, my baby brother, and all the brave men and women who serve this country and sadly, sometimes, give their lives.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Posted by: allison | June 21, 2005 07:20 PM

I never thought I would cry while reading a Miss Doxie post. What a terrible loss to us all. I lost several close friends to the Vietnam War, and when I think of them I still remember the laughter,fun, and good times we had together in high school. The pain now is much less but the memories or still sharp. I am grateful to Noah and his family for the sacrifices they made for my well being. Thank you for sharing this with us. For anyone interested go to www.anysoldier.com for another resource to support our troops. They distrubute letters and packages to personnel who don't get a lot of correspondence from home. They also have a list of what you can/cannot send, and what is needed and appreciated by the soldiers.
Prayers and blessings are being sent in Noah's name.

Posted by: mackmomma | June 21, 2005 07:28 PM

Miss Doxie, Ash, Dukay...
Like so many others have iterated, what a wonderful way to remember your friend and his lighthearted way of living and truly being. There is no better to way to express such a life - then to share his story so that others will always remember what a great man Noah was. This world is fortunate to have had him representing our country...my condolences to you and all of his loved ones. May his memory live on forever...never stop writing about him.

We always feel blogs should only be lighthearted - but they are a reflection of our lives, thoughts, experiences - the people that we are fortunate to have in our lives should always be a part of our writings.

Thoughts and prayers...

Posted by: Jennifer | June 21, 2005 09:56 PM

Leigh, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a cousin (a UN worker) at the very beginning of this mess, and it still hurts today. It really does just hit like a ton of bricks and just sits there. Just take care.

Posted by: Rachel | June 21, 2005 10:22 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you, his friends, and family. Time is so precious and so short, I'm sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Sirtalksalot | June 22, 2005 07:26 AM

Wow. I am so sorry to hear about this. I'm sorry about your loss.

Posted by: Her Ladyship | June 22, 2005 10:14 AM

Life turns on a goddamn, fucking dime.

I am so sorry.

"Early yesterday morning, Noah was killed in Iraq." I think I read that sentence 40 times, trying to get a grip. Your post is such a tribute to him. It captures everything.

Posted by: bluepoppy | June 22, 2005 10:22 AM

Everything you wrote about him was infused w/ fun and love...I think you captured him (and what he meant to all of you) beautifully. I'm so sorry for your (and all others) loss.

Posted by: Junkie | June 22, 2005 10:57 AM

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. It is a scary, dangerous world, and I am so grateful to those who are out there, risking their lives, so that people they don't know and have never met may have a safe and happy life. There's no way to thank them for what they are doing.

Posted by: lunasong | June 22, 2005 11:39 AM

I am so sorry. I truly felt a shock when I read that Noah had been killed, after reading that wonderful story about him. I'm so sorry.

Posted by: Sarah | June 22, 2005 11:41 AM

Just found you through Jennsylvania and can't add anything to what the other commenters said.

I'm so sorry.

Posted by: liz | June 22, 2005 11:42 AM

So sad for all of you, Doxie.

It's nice you had a really great last time.

Also, I would totally use my parents house if they had a hot tub and pool. I would live there, because I love swimmin'.

Posted by: She who shall not be named | June 22, 2005 05:56 PM

I am so sorry.

http://www.militarycity.com/valor/927079.html

Posted by: Leslie | June 22, 2005 10:27 PM

Woah. I did not expect that story to go that way at all. You have a really nice way of telling stories, Leigh, and I'm glad I got to read about your fun time at the pool and get a glimpse into the closeness you guys all shared. My heart totally breaks for you all, especially Ash. That is so incredibly sad. And a very nice tribute to your friend. I'm so sorry...

Posted by: Meg | June 23, 2005 03:48 AM

This will be haunting me for a long time. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.

Posted by: Jenny | June 23, 2005 08:57 AM

Umm, also, I loved the part about your boob, but I have a boob fetish. =}

Posted by: She who shall not be named | June 23, 2005 12:37 PM

i am so deeply deeply sorry. what a wonderful way to tell us this story. i am so very sorry and angry that he has been lost. my thoughts are with Ash, Noah's family and all who knew and loved him.

Posted by: honestyrain | June 23, 2005 12:40 PM

Leigh, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's just a goddamn shame. My thoughts are with you, and with his family and friends.

Posted by: Trance | June 23, 2005 02:39 PM

I just started reading your blog recently, I love your writing and sense of humor. This post really hit me hard....I was actually driving today and your words started running through my head "Who never got to be a husband, and who never got to be a daddy. Who never made it home." and I was crying while I was driving. So sorry you lost a good friend, he sounds like he was a great guy.

Posted by: Jennifer L | June 23, 2005 05:29 PM

I'm so, so sorry for this loss. Thank you for letting us know him, in this small way, for a moment.

Posted by: alice | June 23, 2005 09:19 PM

I am so so sorry for the loss that you, Dukay and Ash have to go through. I kept reading over and over again to make sure that I had it right. My thoughts are with you and his family friends, please send my sincerest condolences to his lovely wife, Ash.

Posted by: sheepgonemad | June 23, 2005 10:11 PM

I am very sorry for your loss. The Red and Black did a story on Noah yesterday. It was nice. I hope you saw it (www.redandblack.com).

Posted by: laura | June 24, 2005 07:01 AM

Geez, my comment is so far down the list! I hope you get this far down!

I have read this entry about a bajillion times. And everytime I read it, I get sadder and sadder.

You see on the news that a local soldier died in Iraq. They do a really quick bit. After awhile, you tend to become immune to it.

I want to thank you for this entry. You brought life to Noah. You made him real. You also made me aware of the fact that the soldiers that were killed were real human beings with likes and dislikes and not just some little blurb on the news. I now have a newfound appreciation for the brave men and woman who are serving our country. God bless them.

My heart aches for Ash. I couldn't imagine losing the love of my life like that.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Dukay, and Noah's family and friends.

Posted by: She who is hot | June 24, 2005 02:28 PM

There is a picture of Noah here, which may make you sadder but I thought everyone should see - http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/2005.06.html

Posted by: Em | June 24, 2005 02:40 PM

I just got sent to your blog because of this post.

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss...

I plan on printing this post out and keeping it in my car which runs on biodiesel so that when anyone asks "Why are you paying more for an alternative fuel?" I can show them this, and say: "So wonderful people like this can be with the people that love them longer."

Posted by: Charlie | June 24, 2005 04:48 PM

I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your friend. Your story was an amazing tribute to him. His family and friends will be in my prayers.

Posted by: catherino | June 24, 2005 09:42 PM

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm thinking of you and Dukay and Ash tonight, and including you all in my prayers. Your writing is always a treat, today included. I feel like I knew Noah, and I'm so sorry he's gone.

Posted by: suz | June 26, 2005 05:28 PM

My heart goes out to you and everyone who will miss that wonderful man. There are few words which can accurately respond to such a beautiful memory and heart-wrenching conclusion, so I will simply thank you for sharing this story and offer my deepest sympathies for your loss.

Posted by: Elizabeth | June 26, 2005 08:16 PM

Oh, man. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Anna | June 27, 2005 05:23 PM

I'm not sure if ou already knew, but "All Things Considered" ran a really lovely tribute to Noah last night. I choked up all over again thinking of your beautiful tribute. Thank you again for sharing your friend in such an immediate and vivid way. I wish I could have known him in life.

Posted by: rebecca | July 13, 2005 09:19 AM

I never met Noah but through you, I feel that I knew him. I laughed, and I cried, as I read your entry. There have been many replies expressing sadness over your/our loss and I too wish to say that I am sooo sorry for the loss you have suffered. You and your friends will be remembered in my daily prayers. You have written a beautiful tribute to your friend. Noah will never be forgotten.

Posted by: Addie | July 16, 2005 03:00 PM

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