Reality Seems To Have Sunk In Around 12:57 p.m.
I just quit my job.
I may just update nine hundred times today. And every update will say something like, "AAAHHHH I JUST RESIGNED FROM MY JOB IT WAS A PERFECTLY GOOD JOB THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY JOB AND YET I QUIT IT."
I've never resigned from a job before! I feel like I should go up to everyone here and be all, "Listen, it's not you, it's me. You're too good for me, really. You'll find someone else, someone who can appreciate you more. Seriously. Can we still be friends?"
And then I remember that I never dated my job, so maybe that response isn't appropriate.
But still. Just so you know: I quit! And I'm taking the fancy stapler with me.