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HOLY CRAP, Part II

March 02, 2005

Well, I think it pretty much goes without saying that y'all are the awesomest people in the world. As of right now, there are 364 comments wishing Mr. Phil well, and zero having to do with online gambling and pornography. (Incidentally, that is a miracle, right there.)

In all seriousness, I am overwhelmed by everyone's kindness. I am so appreciative of all of the wonderful comments and wonderful emails I have received over the past few days. I am very touched that so many of you took the time to leave a note; it means so much to Phil, and it means so much to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, a thousand times, thank you.

I'm going to go ahead and wrap this party up at 4 p.m. so that I can get all of these printed and bound and everything (know how many comments there are? So many that a mere STAPLE will not hold together all of these good wishes. No! BINDING is required! At Kinko's!), and then I will make an online donation for the final amount to the American Cancer Society. And I'll let y'all know what that final amount is, of course. Again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

And, because I don't want y'all to think I'm, like, going soft or something with all of this love and squishiness, I will leave you with the most current list of google searches that visitors have used to land on my page. Welcome, new readers! Sorry I'm not porn!

GOOGLE SEARCHES USED TO GET RIGHT HERE, LIKE, WHERE YOU ARE:

Ding Dong Nutrition

My sister's tits

Who invented alcohol?

Biggest vagina ever

A normal day in the life of an Amish person

Picture of dog peeing on a tree

Pictures of people who have peed on me

That dog peed on me

Tricks to removing cockroaches from your ear

Ashamed in my sister's panties

Oh, y'all. Welcome to Miss Doxie: A happy place where charity, the Amish, and your sister's panties all come together. I'm so glad to have you here.

Posted by doxie in The Innernet | permalink

16 Comments

shit! shit! i missed out on phil! boo!! all my love phil!!

Posted by: type a | March 2, 2005 04:36 PM

Wow, do you have the biggest vagina ever? If it wouldn't totally gross me out, I would say we should all crawl inside and have a party. I'll bring the booze!

Oops, I said it. And yeah, it kinda grossed me out.

Am v. excited about your mad comment fiesta of LOVE. You, and I'm sure Phil, most totally deserve it.

Posted by: Em | March 2, 2005 06:07 PM

This might be too late, but I just received the message concerning your WONDERFUL website today! Anyway, thank you for all of your well wishes for Philip. Philip, we hope you continue to heal well. You have to...it just wouldn't be Easter without the Carnes in Pascagoula! I'll save a pink lemonade daquiri for you! We love you! "Little Alice" and Matt

Posted by: Alice and Matt Lachaussee | March 2, 2005 07:29 PM

I can't begin to tell you how scared I am of what kind of person would sit around Googling "pictures of people who have peed on me."

I'll bet the guy who Googled "ashamed in my sister's panties" was Japanese.

Posted by: Gretchen C. again | March 2, 2005 07:38 PM

What confounds me is that the consistant #1 search term that brings people to my site is "Mac&Cheese"...

Posted by: Sabine | March 2, 2005 10:41 PM

Shit!!!!!!!
I just found out about this a few minutes ago; I would DEFINITELY have spread the word around if I had known.
THANK YOU, Doxie, for such a wonderful thing you've done! I've known Rie and Philip for as long as I can remember; Rie is one of my mother's (Babs *) closest friends since they were babies in Pascagoula--actually our families go back a few generations!

Please pass on my love to them and best wishes for a fast recovery!

(* Babs, my mother, who will probably kill me for yelling "Shit!" in public--or at least on a public blog. LOL)

Posted by: Beth | March 2, 2005 10:43 PM

So, how the hell people got to your site with most of those searches, is beyond my comprehension.

I tried them. All. And I definitely found some interesting pages. I gave up before anything let me back here though.

What? I can't help it. When I run out of ways to procrastinate on writing my appellate brief, I get pretty desperate.

Posted by: Amers | March 3, 2005 08:37 AM

I don't think I would ever google 'people who have peed on me' Wait...that would insinuate that people have peed on me which is not true. I. Swear. Ewww.

Also, if there were pictures, wouldn't I know about them and where to find them and therefore wouldn't need to google such a thing? I am so confused.

Posted by: Morgan | March 3, 2005 08:42 AM

Wow. Just...wow. Those are some, um, interesting Google hits there. Hm.
At least it's not...

Ashamed dog in my sister's panties peeing on the biggest vagina ever

Oh, dear. That was gross. Sorry 'bout that.

Posted by: LadyBug | March 3, 2005 09:41 AM

Ah, the internet. Bringing together allll kinds of freaks.

Posted by: Heather | March 3, 2005 11:33 AM

Your. dog. Peed. on. you?? Seriously? Doxies do that sort of thing?? lol

Posted by: Brighton | March 3, 2005 12:22 PM

Have you even written about people who have peed on you, ever? Even in say, recounting last night's rerun of "Friends" where Monica's leg gets peed on because of the stupidest jellyfish sting ever?

Okay, possibly I watch reruns too much.

Posted by: Coleen | March 3, 2005 01:54 PM

This is slander. Or libel. If you'd stop putting the damn law books on the high shelves I'd know the difference. Also, rrrrrrrrrrr.

Posted by: Bo | March 3, 2005 02:20 PM

Aw crap...I was going to start up a new webiste and am now torn between two webiste topics. Should my new website be a search for the biggest vagina ever? Or should it be pictures of all the people that have peed on me? Cause seriously, that list is long.

Posted by: smartjuice | March 3, 2005 02:53 PM

So, do you have any tricks on getting cockroaches out of one's ears? I'm just dying to know.

Incidentally, I posted my list of strange-o google searches today. My favorite is still, "Is being beautiful everything?" Yes. It is.

Posted by: Boozie | March 4, 2005 03:55 PM

Dearest Miss Doxie,

I heart your site. I want to be your friend. Whee! Okay.

Anyway, here's a little nugget I found on the internet (yay Google!) that I thought I'd share with you as a token of my indefatigable fanship. I mean...what says "thank you" better than HOT TRIPLETS????

Whoa. Triplets. It's like twins, plus a free bonus!

You've seen them on the Cingular commercials. Now, because I think you're fabulous, go indulge yourself, like a lusty little thirteen-year-old!

http://www.bletchley-park.com/archives/000150.html

Posted by: Lori | March 4, 2005 10:55 PM

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