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Go , Shorty

March 06, 2005

Hello! Here are a series of things, things that have nothing to do with each other, in any way whatsoever, Amen.

Thing One: At the end of comment time, there were 372 comments wishing Mr. Phil a speedy recovery. I went ahead and rounded up to 375, because...well. It just sounds better to me. And so, I made a donation to the ACS in Mr. Phil's name for $375. Thank you all again for all of your help, and thank you particularly to the wonderful people who emailed me or commented that they would be willing to match this donation. You are Awesome. In the end, all of y'all helped raise close to $800 for the ACS.

Aren't you proud of yourselves? You should be! I kiss you!

Thing 2: Completely unrelated. I warned you.

So, Dukay and I were talking about music the other day, specifically, music we used to know but haven't thought about in a long time, and we had this conversation:

Self: Wait, wait, what was that song, that Cracker song, and...Get Off This? Was that it?

Dukay: Yeah, that was it, but I don't remember the words, something...if you want to change the world, something something...uh...

Self: Yeah, shut your mouth...uh...something...uh...

Dukay: Uh...

Self: Uh....

(Pause.)

Self: WELL THE GUITAR PLAYER'S HANGING OUT IN HOLLYWOOD SAYING HE'S JUST TRYIN' TO GET SOME SLEEP BUT EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING ARE YOU TRULY DEEPLY CYNICAL CAUSE BOY YOU KNOW I LOVED YOU SO WHEN NO ONE KNEW YOUR NAME AND YOU WERE POMPOUS.

Dukay: Uh...whoa.

Self: I think I just blew up.

Dukay: Baby...where...did that come from?

Apparently, it came from some long forgotten part of my brain, that has just been holding onto those lyrics, much in the same way that it holds onto the rap-type part of "Hook" by Blues Traveler (SUCK IT IN SUCK IT IN SUCK IT IN) and all of the words to "We Didn't Start the Fire" (HARRY TRUMAN DORIS DAY). This is not necessarily information I need, and the fact that so much of my brain power seems to be occupied with keeping these useless nuggets of information totally intact means that, almost certainly, important things must be seeping out of my ears on a pretty regular basis. Next time I forget something important, LIKE MY OWN PHONE NUMBER, which I forgot last week when I was at the cell phone store, I am just going to shrug and say, "Listen, don't blame me. Blame Cracker. They bogarted all the good brain cells."

Bastards. You realize, this is what my reliable brain cells have retained. Just say no, people.

And, thing three: Still, no connecting principle here. La la la. Talky words.

So, it's March 6th today. It is my birthday, which makes me twenty eight, which seems VERY OLD TO ME all of a sudden.

Do you want to see some scary math? 30 - 28 = 2.

TWO. TWO YEARS UNTIL I AM THIRTY.

So, I may be freaking out. Send wine.

P.S.: TWOTWOTWO. TWO.

UPSATE: HELLO! It is now 12:39, which mEans it isno longer my birthday. We had a party and thuings. Love yo!

P.S. DUkay says hi! And lotsof other peolpe too. HEllo!

Posted by doxie in General Whining | permalink

53 Comments

Happy birthday, Leigh! And now I just feel OLD. Because, even though I may have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old, I am indeed 33. And next month, I will be thirty FOUR. Holy fuck.

Posted by: Martha | March 6, 2005 06:37 PM

Aww, you're still a baby! What I wouldn't give to have my age still start with "2." BTW, my 37-year-old self can match your 28-year-old self in the "wallowing in self pity" department. You wanna talk math? Let's see . . .

37 + 3 = f...fo...4... crap, I can't even type out the number.

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Posted by: Tracy | March 6, 2005 06:56 PM

Hey, you and my dad share a birthday!! Happy Birthday to two cool cats!!!

Oh, and screw ya..... I'm 33. :)

Posted by: Lisa | March 6, 2005 07:29 PM

Happy Birthday. And while two years to thirty may be scary, I'm two years to 35, and for the life of me I can't figure out how that much time has passed since I was freaking out myself about being two years to 30.

Posted by: Jessie | March 6, 2005 07:44 PM

You are a baby still, but happy happy birthday to you!!

Posted by: Brighton | March 6, 2005 08:19 PM

My dear, you are but a child. Also, once you pass 30, you totally need more shoes, because, GOD, you're not in your twenties anymore, do people expect you to be BAREFOOT as well? Shoes are basically all that is LEFT to you... errrr... I mean... ummmmm... really, 30 isn't so bad. Ahem.

Posted by: Mir | March 6, 2005 08:24 PM

Yay! Happy 28, Leigh! So far, I have found 28 to be fine. I feel old but mostly because my parents were 28 when they had me.

Anyway, I have warmed up 28 for you. We have booze and shoes here. Welcome to the party.

Posted by: Em | March 6, 2005 08:34 PM

Happy Birthday!! The thirties aren't so bad. Mostly because you can't remember exactly how old you are!

Posted by: Beth | March 6, 2005 09:31 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Posted by: Kathryn | March 6, 2005 09:38 PM

Happy birthday! I am days to 25. My cousin is days to 30. He is freaking out.

Posted by: Heather | March 6, 2005 09:44 PM

Happy Birthday!!!!

I can't believe you had time to post an entry on your birthday, I mean, don't you have presents to open? I turned 28 last month - it does feel old. But I hope that by 30 I'll have it all figured out (hahaha, really, I am THAT crazy) Unless, I'm still not married, then well, you won't want to know how sad I'll be. ;)

Posted by: Littlehoney | March 6, 2005 10:28 PM

Happy Birthday!!!

Posted by: Lauren | March 6, 2005 10:59 PM

30 is great, don't worry about 30. :)

I'm 35...will be GULP 36 next month--Now THAT is a # I am haivng a hard time facing! ;)

Posted by: amy | March 7, 2005 01:59 AM

Happy Birthday! I'm turning 25 in a couple of months and pre-freaking about it. Can't waste all that freaking out til the last minute you know. Hope you had a great day. =)

Posted by: RadiantSky | March 7, 2005 03:01 AM

Happy belated birthday! As someone older and wiser ok, maybe not wiser, but older, by a month and a day, I have found my first month as a 28 year old to be ok. I have still been drinking like I did at 27 so things should be OK.

Hope you had a great birthday!

Posted by: Morgan | March 7, 2005 08:42 AM

Twenty-eight, eh? Sweetie, you've got the heart of a kid, and you'll be young forever. :) Hope this year is full of fun -- Happy Birthday!

Posted by: Jena | March 7, 2005 10:30 AM

Happy Birthday Leigh! You're only as old as you feel. Which is seriously a double edged sword if ever there was one, but still, it can be a positive. If the three-oh really bothers you, you can turn 28 again next year, if you want. Or 27, or 26. Have fun with it!

Posted by: TheMac | March 7, 2005 10:38 AM

Happy Birthday! 30 is actually pretty great. I will be 32 this summer and am expecting my first child to arrive next month. The parties are better for the big birthdays, hope you enjoyed yours!

Posted by: lcp | March 7, 2005 10:39 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS DOXIE! Hey 30 (which is still YEARS away remember) is fantastic. I am 33 and I get carded ALL THE TIME.

Posted by: Chanelbaby | March 7, 2005 11:26 AM

Happy Birthday, Miss Doxie! Please tell us El Dukay bought you something fabulous to celebrate.

Posted by: E | March 7, 2005 11:42 AM

You totally did that update while drunk, didn't you??

Ah well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Posted by: Nikilovely | March 7, 2005 12:23 PM

Happy birthday!

Posted by: SpaceCase | March 7, 2005 12:30 PM

Happy, happy birthday!! Also? I will be 32 this year. Thirty. Two. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you darling 28 year old, you.

Posted by: Heather | March 7, 2005 12:46 PM

30 was one of the best years of my life. Relax and have a great time leading up to it. It's 40 that'll kick your ass. :)

Posted by: lizardek | March 7, 2005 01:05 PM

Happy Birthday Miss Doxie!!! Don't fret. Turning 30 is really fun. There will be lots of parties, with lots of drinks, and lots of presents, and you will enjoy it. I promise. I'm 38 (and a lawyer) so I know what I'm talking about.

Posted by: Miruni | March 7, 2005 01:14 PM

Happy Birthday! March birthdays are the best, and I should know, since my birthday is tomorrow.

Posted by: bad penguin | March 7, 2005 01:42 PM

happy birthday.

I think I had my mid-midlife crisis this past October when I turned 26 and my dad called me to wish me a happy birthday and started the conversation by saying "so, how does it feel to be closer to 30 than you are to 20?"

It felt great until you reminded me that I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20 :(

And its nice to see by your PS that you did INDEED drink Bacardi like it's your birthday

Posted by: Stephanie | March 7, 2005 01:51 PM

You're a Pisces? What the hell are you doing lawyering? You're too creative for that, doncha know.

Anyway, seeing as you are SO YOUNG you have lots of time to have lots of careers.

Happiest Birthday!!!

Posted by: bluepoppy | March 7, 2005 02:44 PM

I bought a book. Facing 30. I freaked out. But then I realized how lucky I was not to be 35.
Well this year I am 33. 35-33=2.

Suddenly I am freaking again. Thanks. :)

Posted by: Pikkychikk | March 7, 2005 02:48 PM

I love having "thuings," too! Happy Birthday, sweetheart.

As for me, I find that I can stay in the shower for far too long, listening to 93.9 LITE FM on the shower radio and singing along to EVERY SINGLE SONG THEY PLAY. Including but not limited to one of the most annoyingly pseudo-sexy songs ever recorded, "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles and, of course, the baby-hating rant of a man desperately trying to pretend he might ever be in the position of actually having a baby, with a WOMAN, George Michael's "Everything She Wants."

One step further and my back will break, indeed.

Posted by: sarahb | March 7, 2005 04:06 PM

A little late on this, but Happy Birthday. And judging from the stellar spelling going on at the end of that post, I'm assuming that the party was a success. I'll put two bottles of wine in the mail; one bottle for each impending year. Glad it was a good one.

Posted by: smartjuice | March 7, 2005 04:07 PM

Happy birthday, Whippersnapper! I'm 40 - do I win? (and it didn't kick my ass - I kicked 40's ass)

Posted by: Laura | March 7, 2005 04:50 PM

Me=40-2=38
Sad when i figured that out.
But a friend told me that when you turn 40 you don't have to suffer fools any longer...so you are close!
Happy birthday dance...la la la
Relive your youth thru music! (better than somethings we can do)

Posted by: Mandi | March 7, 2005 05:55 PM

Happy birthday from a fellow pisces!

Posted by: arubagirl | March 7, 2005 06:12 PM

Happy Birthday to US because my birthday is tomorrow and your's was yesterday. We are so cool us pisces girls. I'm on the other side of the big 30 and let me tell you, it is MY-TEE-FINE. You'll love it. Don't let the numbers mess with your head as they matter not. Hope you had a great day.

Posted by: Melinda | March 7, 2005 08:49 PM

Happy birthday! Sounds like you had a fun one. Don't worry about 30. When it gets close you can hide from it!

Posted by: Lafe | March 8, 2005 09:53 AM

Happy Birthday, a bit belated.
And I'm guessing from your update there was much drinking and partying and fun to be had.
I turned (whispers) thir.ty. last year. Blech.

Posted by: LadyBug | March 8, 2005 10:43 AM

GIRL! you're supposed to TELL ME it's your birthday - that way you get presents. or at least you WOULD HAVE gotten presents had you not referred to THIRTY as OLD.

REALLY scary math? 30 + 8 months and 13 days = 31

yeah. i'll be THIRTY-ONE in 8 months and 13 days. 31 is the only thing scarier than 30.

wanna do shots?

Posted by: type a | March 8, 2005 11:32 AM

Happy day after the day after your birthday, you drunk ass fool.

Posted by: Amy | March 8, 2005 11:54 AM

Happy belated, Leigh! I've been 28 for exactly 2 months and 6 days, and it ain't half bad. I'm not real happy about the 2 YEARS part either, but you just accept the things you cannot change....or at least get really drunk so you can't remember them. :-)

Posted by: SuMMer | March 8, 2005 12:37 PM

Happy Birthday - 30 really isn't that bad, I promise (although I only speak from 2 months experience). Hope you had a great party!

Posted by: Elizabeth | March 8, 2005 01:11 PM

Happy happy birthday! I hope the dogs bought you something pretty.

Give Dukay a kiss and a hello. Also, "Monkey."

Posted by: Coleen | March 8, 2005 01:14 PM

Hope you had a great birthday!!

Posted by: Lauren | March 8, 2005 02:20 PM

Oh, so sad I missed wishing you a happy birthday on the dayof. But? I'm 38, and you know what that makes +2 don't you? Eeeek

Posted by: Sheryl | March 8, 2005 03:08 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm turning 20 on friday... are you jealous yet? :D

Posted by: Erin | March 8, 2005 04:43 PM

CumpleaƱos felices - a day late anyways. I just turned 30 in Feb, and so far thirty is great...

Posted by: Sabine | March 8, 2005 05:30 PM

Happy Birthday! I'm 32. It's not so bad, or at least, that's what I tell myself!

Posted by: Jenjapea | March 8, 2005 06:00 PM

Happy Birthday! I'm 32. It's not so bad, or at least, that's what I tell myself!

Posted by: Jenjapea | March 8, 2005 06:01 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISS DOXIE!

I'd throw confetti, but I fear your Dogs would eat it...

And by the by, look at THIS math:

32-30 = 2

*sigh* Here's looking at you from the Other Side of Thirty, Kid.

*old*

Posted by: chicklet | March 9, 2005 09:47 AM

Happy belated birthday! You know what's really hard? It's that that little time bastahd doesn't stop at 30. You hit 30 and think Ok .. not so bad .. I feel the same as 29 and you take a big breath and think "OK I made it".. BUT it doesn't STOP. Before you know it it's 313233343536373839 .. whoa .. 40? And then the bastahd does it again! It never stops! I'm 52 looking at face lifts so I can stand to look in the mirror. But enough about aging and me .. uh .. Happy Birthday?

Posted by: Summer Gale | March 10, 2005 01:57 PM

Happy belated birthday! So sorry I missed it. 28 is not old.

Posted by: Bond Girl | March 10, 2005 07:40 PM

hello, miss doxie? today, march 10, is *my* birthday, and 30-29 = 1. ONE. EEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Posted by: erin | March 10, 2005 10:37 PM

Happy be-lated B-day!

Me? 42. No worries.

Posted by: Chari | March 21, 2005 12:40 PM

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