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On the wings of love

January 13, 2005

I'm tired of looking at the post about Bo, because the title reads, "This way to crazy," and that is seriously irritating me. And I am irritated every time I see it, because I always read it as, This way too crazy, like, this shit? Is WAY too crazy, people! This WAY too crazy!

And that is just...wrong. I mean, who says that? It was supposed to be more of a directional joke, as in, take a right, a left, and give the dog a glass of water, and then you will arrive at Crazy, population: me.

I wrote the fucking thing, and even I can't read it correctly. Which means it's time to move it off of the top of the page, forever.

Unfortunately, that does NOT mean I have anything interesting to replace it with. No. I've been working, and yesterday I refinanced my house, and none of that is interesting in the slightest. Basically, it's all blah, blah, work life things.

But just because I don't necessarily have anything interesting to say does not mean that I won't write anyway. You know this. And today, I think we should have a frank discussion about the startling fact that I have been having some seriously fucked up dreams, like very fucked up.

And, hey. Know how you totally hate it when other people start talking about their dreams, and it lasts for, like, forever, and they go into all this tedious detail and you just want to start throttling them just so they will SHUT UP, OH MY GOD, YOUR DREAMS ARE SO BORING?

If you answered "yes", you probably want to quit reading. Now.

Because last night, I dreamt that I was engaged to both Kiefer Sutherland and a myna bird. No, really. I'm absolutely serious. El Dukay was somehow completely uninvolved in the equation.

And, yeah, I can see the Kiefer thing, because we've been watching a lot of 24. First, we had to catch up on season three before we could watch the premiere on Sunday. And then they showed those two episodes on Sunday, and then two more on Monday, so I have been, essentially, SATURATED with Kiefer to the point that it is NOT SURPRISING that my unconscious mind believes that Kief and I (I get to call him Kief) have developed some sort of special, two-dimensional relationship. I have stared at Kiefer's little face for about sixteen hours in the last four days, which is much longer than I have stared at any other faces in the last four days. Possibly ever. So this can be explained.

But...a myna bird? I mean, first off, what the FUCK is a myna bird?

I didn't even know. I had to look it up. It turns out that they are pesky and small and inappropriate marriage material.

(Still, if I get to choose which myna bird I am engaged to marry, I choose the one with the big hair. Big hair looks sort of hot and carefree on myna birds.)

Meanwhile, while I am having dreams about being betrothed to a bird, Dukay continues with his amazing ability to sleep like a freak. The other night, we were sleeping, like normal people. Then, all of a sudden, he grabbed me with both arms, and started...just...bouncing me up and down, all boppity boppity boppity. And all the while, as he bounced me, he was very loudly hollering, "MINE! MINE! MINE!"

And obviously, he was warning away Kiefer, is what he was doing. Kiefer, and lusty, lusty little myna birds. That is the only logical explanation. But whatever the hell it all means, I can only say, this shit? Is WAY too crazy, people! This WAY too crazy!

Posted by doxie in General Whining | permalink

23 Comments

my first reaction to "myna bird" is didn't they have one in "tales of a 4th grade nothing"? judy blume works her subconscious magic yet again...

other than that, I can't help you out, and yes, that is fucked up. but aren't dreams supposed to be? I'd much rather have interesting ones than ones about taking the metro to work (which sadly show up far too often in my dreams).

Posted by: Her Ladyship | January 13, 2005 04:16 PM

I often wake myself with my sleep talking. Like I wake up and my mouth is forming the words and they are being spoken aloud.

You are far too hilarious for your own good.

Posted by: Rachael | January 13, 2005 04:20 PM

Maybe you were dreaming solely about Keifer and then Dukay yelled "MINE!" and you heard "MYNA!" and hello menage a trois?

Posted by: Booze Who | January 13, 2005 05:00 PM

first, I was tired of looking at Bo's entry too because that meant there were no updates.
Second, thank you to her ladyship for clearing up the myna bird thing for me - I knew I'd seen that somewhere else.

My favorite dream is when you yell something really loud like "NOOOOOO!" and you wake yourself up and your bf is looking at you, only not in a "why did you just scream?" sort of way. And you wonder if you said it out loud or not. (turns out I didn't)

Blame the dreams on the earthquakes and the tsunami. The earth is still moving and making everyone (especially me) Looney!

Posted by: Littlehoney | January 13, 2005 05:05 PM

My favorite part of the myna bird site is the description: "...with a black head and neck, a yellow beak, eye patch, feet and legs." At first, I read that as "mynas have a yellow beak, and it also has an eye patch, feet, and legs" as opposed to birds that have no feet or legs (instead of mynas have a yellow beak, yellow eye patch, yellow legs, and yellow feet).

Anyway, thanks for making me guffaw in an otherwise quiet cube farm, Miss Doxie.

Posted by: fel | January 13, 2005 06:09 PM

I like El Dukay's reaction to your dream, although he probably didn't know he was reacting to your dream. Ah, you make me laugh so...

Posted by: Erin | January 13, 2005 06:30 PM

I also thought of Fudge and Peter when I read "myna bird". Can't remember if it was Tales of a Fourth-Grade Nothing, or Superfudge, where he had the myna bird.

Posted by: Rachel | January 14, 2005 01:21 AM

I've been reading you for a while, but haven't commented until now. You are absolutely hilarious. And I have to say that I read "This way to crazy" just like you wrote it (as a direction...in fact, I kind of pictured a big sign, with a giant flashing arrow, "THIS WAY to Crazy"), and it cracked me up every time I saw it. (Um, not that I was obsessively checking for updates or anything. Nope. That wasn't me.)

Thanks for the giggles.

God bless,
LadyBug

Posted by: LadyBug | January 14, 2005 09:46 AM

Mine! Mine! Mine! This is especially funny to me as that is what I have on my copywright. And THAT means love, Doxie!

Have a great weekend!

(I will NEVER STOP exclaiming!)

Posted by: Em | January 14, 2005 10:08 AM

For the record, I was reading "This Way To Crazy" in the directional sense that I think you intended. So when you posted this entry about how you kept misreading it, that just seemed funny to me. Have a nice day!

Posted by: Jen | January 14, 2005 12:23 PM

girl? i did not know you were a 24 devotee! yay!

and kiefer? good catch!

Posted by: type a | January 14, 2005 12:24 PM

Wow, a man who bounces you and declares possession... in his sleep. I seriously doubt the Myna could top that. ;)

Posted by: Mir | January 14, 2005 12:25 PM

i once had a dream that I was engaged to Antonio Banderas but he had to leave me forever and so he gave me a magical vacuum cleaner as a token of his undying love...

Posted by: erinire | January 14, 2005 12:29 PM

Look, I'll give you Kief, because he is, well, kind of smoldering and dangerous and hot.

Imagine if it had been Donald Sutherland you were dreaming about instead.

Posted by: Coleen | January 14, 2005 12:43 PM

I also read the title in the directional way that you intended. But thanks to this entry, I now have something new and fun to say at work. Like when my boss gives me something to do, I can say "I'm sorry. This way too crazy. No thanks."

Also, you must have had some type of subconscious knowledge and lust over this myna bird. How long have you been pining for the myna bird Doxie? You can tell us.

Posted by: smartjuice | January 14, 2005 12:56 PM

I'm thinking it was Superfudge with the myna bird. Who can say, though? It's been 20 years.

Posted by: Heather | January 14, 2005 01:08 PM

As the person who always find the information when someone asks a question (I just love google!)

You're right Heather. It was Superfudge. :)

Posted by: Littlehoney | January 14, 2005 02:40 PM

Id like to add Fuck the symphony!!
In regards to todays dream O rama id like to tell about my hubbys Fox!! yes foxes entered our bedroom and he stabbed at it (the clothes hamper) with a sword that he used back in his karate days. Yelling GET IT GET IT!!!!!! DAMN FOXES!!!!!!!! (stab stab stab the laundry basket) dream foxes are INDEED the worst kind of all bedroom foxes (in case you were wondering.)

Posted by: first timer | January 14, 2005 03:56 PM

Yes, but I'm wondering if the myna birds consider you inappropriate marriage material....
De-lurking to say thanks for all the snorted beverages the last few months.

Posted by: Snapper | January 14, 2005 05:56 PM

Oh Man! So Its not just me having the This Way too Crazy Dreams.

I dreamt the other night I was asleep in bed and Ashton Kutcher (BLECH) wanted to move in and I told him he could live under my bed and could never come out except when he had to pee and he had to do that outside. So then as I slept, Ashton began to clean out under my bed--for I have a lot of CRAp under there--baskets of clothes, spare pillows, art not currently on my walls, a card table, even a whole 'nother bed frame--head and foot board type situation. Only Ashton was making so much damn noise that it was pissing me off, so I picked up a board and smacked him over the head with it and he fell down. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Posted by: amy | January 14, 2005 08:51 PM

Hey, Donald Sutherland is hot too! Hmm. That's an opinion I should maybe keep to myself.

Fuck the symphony!

Posted by: Josh | January 15, 2005 03:18 AM

Geez, y'all are as entertaining at night as you are during the day.

Posted by: Sheryl | January 18, 2005 08:54 AM

My Grandmother has a myna bird and they are really cool pets if you like birds for pets (which I don't.) Damned thing has a vocabulary that rivals my Mom's. Bad part is the bird mimics my dead dad. My dad has been dead for almost 20 years and the damned bird still has his voice and phrases down pat! Damned bird!

Posted by: lisame | January 19, 2005 12:05 PM

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