It slices! It dices!
So, yesterday I did a lot of Christmas shopping. And I was highly entertained by the fact that almost every store I entered had a clearance section, and every clearance section was FILLED with capelets. Ah, the capelet! We had such high hopes for you as a fashion item! But now we have all learned An Important Lesson, namely, "We should not base our Winter line on anything recommended by the contestants on the Apprentice," and also, "Why would anyone actually need a capelet, anyway? This item of clothing makes no sense. It is like a slap bracelet for grown-ups."
The Capelet: What You Wear When You Just Can't Commit To A Coat! What You Wear When your Shoulders Are Kind Of Chilly, But Not So Much Your Arms!
Anyway. I'm getting a little carried away with the capelets. But my shopping day culminated with the purchase of several items, most of which were for myself. Which is not necessarily the way Christmas shopping is supposed to go, but you know. A girl has to have something to wear. And a girl needs shoes.
And evidently, a girl ALSO needs to watch television at three a.m. and make the wise executive decision to call the Christian Children's Fund and buy herself a child. Because that is what I did, last night, while the horrified people in my den looked on, all, "Um, are you...are you sure this is a good idea? With the giving of the credit card information and the signing away of your life and etc.?" And I said "OF COURSE this is an excellent idea. Were you not LISTENING to Sally Struthers? Do you think she would LIE? Did you see those FLIES? It costs less than a cup of coffee every day!"
Thankfully for all involved, though, I was NOT convinced to purchase the amazing Ronco knife set, which came on right after the Children's Fund program. EVEN THOUGH it was twelve, no, THIRTEEN, no, FIFTEEN, NO, TWENTY ONE HIGH QUALITY RONCO KNIVES all for just THREE EASY PAYMENTS of $13.33!!! That's like a twelve million dollar value, and that nice Ron Popeil just wants you to HAVE it. He's a giver, really. Just like Santa. And me.
However, I was intensely entertained by something called the Ron Popeil Seven Inch Cleaver, because...hee. It was almost worth buying the whole set just so I could ask people if they wanted to see/touch/use my Ron Popeil Seven Inch Cleaver.
And now I can't stop saying it. Ron Popeil Seven Inch Cleaver! It never gets old! Yet!
Anyway, to sum up:
Christmas gifts purchased: 2
Items of clothing purchased for self: 6
Children funded: 1
Ronco Knives NOT purchased: 21, plus a FREE KNIFE SHARPENER
Office Christmas parties tonight: 1
Pointless entries written, but, y'all, it's just so EASY with the movable type and the typing and the thing and then, WHAM, it's there, and I wanted to post something despite the fact that I don't have anything to say, really, and also, the phone keeps ringing and I lose my train of thought so I'm all, uh, people, GIVE ME A SECOND, but there it goes again, and I've forgotten where I was going with this, exactly: 1
Everyone have a good Sunday! Maybe tomorrow I'll have something interesting to say. In the meanwhile, I'd better go do some more Christmas shopping, or else everyone on my list is getting a Ron Popeil Seven Inch Cleaver and a really FANTASTIC capelet.